Circadian Rhythms

Happy New Year!! I hope you had a wonderful time last night and look forward to posting regularly here at least three times a week … starting … now!

When I lived in El Salvador, I had the world’s best work schedule.

I had just finished grad school at my alma mater (American University) and I didn’t have a job lined up. Luis and I had been dating long-distance international for over a year and wanted to experience living together for a bit, so I moved to El Salvador for eight months and taught English at a private language academy where I made $3/hour and was worked to.the.core.

That said, the schedule — while grueling — was the best because it gave me a ton of freedom and let me capitalize on my own energy levels … something I find myself longing for a lot these days. Continue reading “Circadian Rhythms”

a walk down mommy guilt lane

CaptureWiz002

The caption reads: This face makes being a working mom so hard sometimes #motherhood #mommyguilt

I was grinning ear-to-ear, pushing the kids in the double buggy and Luis was behind me, walking Rocco when we ran into our neighbor and her dog on a cool July evening earlier this week. Though we had met the neighbor’s husband a couple times, we hadn’t met her yet. After exchanging pleasantries, chit-chatting about the unusually cold summer (#puremichigan), and telling us how adorable the kids are, she asked if I worked, her eyes darting from the two squealing babes in the stroller to me — beaming with pride behind them.

But with her question, my face fell. I found myself heaving a guilt-ridden sigh. And then choking back tears as she shot me a knowing glance and told me how she stayed home with her kids when they were small. How she has no regrets. How it wasn’t easy, but it was the right choice for her.

It’s a conversation like this that explains why I question myself every.single.day.  I don’t know it’s the “right” choice for me to work — but it’s my reality at the moment. Continue reading “a walk down mommy guilt lane”

“Leaning Out” and “Reclining”

About a year ago, I blogged about how I was reading the book Lean In and how I was gleaning quite a bit from it — especially with how I would relate to my daughter and how I wasn’t so sure “leaning in” was for me.

A year and another child later, I still feel the same as I shared in this excerpt here on my blog last March. Continue reading ““Leaning Out” and “Reclining””

Nursing, round two

I’ve never judged mothers for their choice to breastfeed or not. It’s a personal decision — and one that isn’t always a “choice.” I’ve always felt like an outlier in the breastfeeding community because although I did a combo of nursing, pumping and supplementing formula, I was never in one “camp.” I just “was.” And for the nine months I nursed Maya, I didn’t really enjoy it (which I’m sure isn’t what some women want to hear, especially lactivists!).

I was stressed out because my supply wasn’t great.

I was a new mom who “thought” she needed to go/go/go 24/7, so the idea of sitting still for 20-30 minutes seemed like torture.

And I just didn’t love the act of breastfeeding. I knew it was good for her and that’s why I did it, but for the most part, aside from a few fleeting special moments with her, it wasn’t what I felt connected us — which was confirmed when I stopped nursing at nine months and our snuggle sessions at night were just as intimate — if not better — than they had been while nursing. Continue reading “Nursing, round two”

Tuesday Musings

A friend of mine from college posted this New York Times article on Facebook today (Being a Working Mother Means Always Having to Say You’re Sorry) and as I read it, all I could do was nod.

The fact that I was nodding the whole time both saddened and infuriated me.

It saddened me because of how true it is … and infuriated me because it shouldn’t be this way. We shouldn’t have to feel the need to apologize for making choices that put our children first!  Continue reading “Tuesday Musings”

Murphy’s Law

*Disclaimer: I believe ALL moms work … whether they are stay-at-home moms, work-outside-the-home moms, part-time working moms,  you name it … ALL moms work. Just wanted to clarify before you read the article I reference below.*

Of course, it WOULD be that the day I planned to blog about this awesome article I read — “What NOT to Say to a Working Mom”would be the day Maya decides to throw me for a complete loop.

We were getting ready for school this morning and I asked her a question I ask her every morning: “Do you want to go to school today?”

Usually she grins and begins jumping up and down. “School!” and then ticks off her little friends she will see.

But today was different.

“NO. Want to to stay home wit MOMMY.” Continue reading “Murphy’s Law”

The Great Diaper Bag Evolution

Note: I originally wrote this with the Babble audience in mind, but haven’t submitted it yet. Since it can take them months to post something, I thought I’d share it tonight here on my blog for kicks.
——-
As my confidence as a mom has grown, my diaper bag has shrunk. You could argue this inversely proportional observation is a silly one to make, but it’s completely true.

Before Maya was born, I carefully eyed the diaper bags I saw moms and dads carrying around. I saw some huge bags overflowing with sippy cups and Snack Traps, some cross-body bags, some backpacks, some bags that didn’t even look like diaper bags. At Babies R Us I was absolutely overwhelmed by the opportunities before me, and surfing around online was even more dizzying. Continue reading “The Great Diaper Bag Evolution”