“Is That All There Is?”

1FEgcOolSorry to be such a downer/drama queen tonight, but this weekend I had one of those epiphanies that make you kind of question everything about your life and the direction in which you’re headed.

I’m 100 percent guilty of forgetting to/failing to live in the moment, and I’m always looking ten steps ahead.

This forward-focused outlook has served me well academically in my youth and even professionally … but personally, it’s basically been a thorn in my side.

It makes me an impatient person, it means I often interrupt conversations (even though it’s not deliberate) and means I often don’t stop to smell the roses, let alone see them.

And that makes me sad, because I’m a very detail-oriented person who recalls every little thing … if I take the time to notice it, that is.

Sometimes I can be in the moment.

Friday night, for example, I totally had a blast at a happy hour goodbye party for our friend, and then easily practiced intuitive eating at dinner at a Mexican restaurant with another group of our friends. I just focused on the company (my hubby and our friends) and enjoyed the night to its fullest. I felt alive in every sense of the word; I wish the feeling could last forever.

But then Saturday night, after a fun day at the park with my husband’s work department, I found myself sitting home alone (he was studying, no friends/family were home to chat with or hang out with).

It was about 9 p.m. and I’d just finished reading a great novel about an enduring friendship (Firefly Lane, in case you’re interested–thanks D.!). I closed the book, and then thought … “OK, now what?” Continue reading ““Is That All There Is?””