“Todo Plazo Se Cumple”

Very loosely translated from Spanish, today’s headline alludes to “everything happens and comes to an end/everything has its time”

I found this quote apropos because tonight at about 10, we’ll be bringing my in-laws to O’Hare for their journey back to El Salvador. Though it hasn’t always been easy for me, the past three weeks have been pretty good, and I’ve really enjoyed the time with them.

Much of it had to do with reframing. The rest has to do with digging deep to find patience and compassion, two virtues — the former (which I’ve always lacked) and the latter, which I have always had but struggled with as of late. Continue reading ““Todo Plazo Se Cumple””

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Reframing Works!

reframingI don’t know if I’m speaking prematurely here (and I hope I’m not) but my anxiety levels are at an all-time low at the moment, even with my in-laws here.

Anyone who knows me in real life (or followed my blog last September) knows that this pretty much a ginormous deal.

I won’t go into details here for the privacy of my family, but I will say that reframing the situation has really helped me ten-fold.

I know one of the things Dr. G. wanted me to focus on in therapy was reframing situations, and amazingly, it worked when I actually tried it. Making the conscious decision to look at a situation differently really did wonders; I felt like a huge weight was lifted.

Continue reading “Reframing Works!

Reframing the “Catch”

1162162406_ba47710bd3The other night over the phone, my mom told me how proud she was of my behavior this weekend — both she and my sister noticed how little (if at all) I talked about food, exercise, anything. I wasn’t, in their words, “obsessive” like I usually am. Coming from them, it meant the world to me.

My mom also acknowledged how she understood the challenges I faced — being surrounded by food 24/7 with family who love to eat as much as I do — and how she thought I handled it like a champ.

She said she didn’t know what I was doing or how I was doing it (not obsessing), but she could see a change in me, I seemed calmer, more resolute maybe? Continue reading “Reframing the “Catch””

Tabula Rosa/Blank Slate Thinking

blank_slateI believe we’re all born with a tabula rosa, or a blank slate.

Though fate might guide us in the bigger scheme of things, I still believe we create our own destinies, which are inspired/influenced by our upbringings and our environment.

And so going along with my “live in the moment/savor the present” goal, it ocurred to me that every day is really and truly a blank slate, as well — it’s not a one-time-deal.

When we wake up each morning, we can hit the Snooze button for ten more minutes, or get in a sunrise yoga session. Make oatmeal or hope to find a Nutrigrain bar at work. (There is no “good” or “bad” here; it depends on the day, what’s right for you — sometimes sleep is more important than the a.m. workout).

And each day is an opportunity to improve on the previous day, building off what we’ve learned: for better or for worse.

I don’t mean it’s a time for looking back or ruminating on the past or trying to un-do it, or even looking to tomorrow to be better. Rather, each day is an opportunity to focus on today — to savor today.

We can fill it however we choose — with how productive we are at work, how many e-mails we choose to ignore, what we do at night, when we run our errands, who we talk to (or who we don’t), what we eat, how much sleep we get, if we spend it fighting or kissing, if we save money or spend money, if we exercise or rest.

Sure, there are a bajillion outside factors that can weigh us down from filling the blank slate with everything we might want to see/do … and yes, we often (unintentionally) bring baggage from the past …

But there’s always today. And tomorrow. Another day, another clean slate. Continue reading Tabula Rosa/Blank Slate Thinking”

What Holds You Back?

sunsettandemI’m the first to admit I’m not much of a risk-taker.

Unlike my younger brother who lives for endorphins as he sky-dives, surfs, and mountain-climbs, risk-taking for me is much calmer. You could say my risks have been big statements, yet on a much more subtle scale.

Going to college in DC (a far cry from rural Vernon, NJ), studying abroad where I lived with an Argentine family who spoke no English, climbing Huayana Picchu, enduring a 5-year long-distance-international relationship with my then-boyfriend (now-husband), relocating to Michigan and leaving behind a steady job and all my friends and family on the East coast for our future together in a new place …

Each of these things were arguably risks I’ve taken, but when it comes to putting myself out there in the sense of being a confident, assertive person … I haven’t yet gotten there just yet. Continue reading “What Holds You Back?”

Digesting and Reframing Scary Pregnancy Stats

reframing1Back in June when I began blogging, I divulged that pregnancy is something that I am excited for in the near future, but also fearing to some extent, given my past (and present) history with body image issues, weight struggles and disordered eating behaviors.

While we aren’t planning on starting a family in this very moment (my husband just began an MBA program at University of Michigan this fall, so ideally we’d like to wait a little longer), it’s been on my mind a lot more lately.

So when I came across this article, “Dieters Gain More Weight During Pregnancy” in the health section of the New York Times (coincidentally published on my birthday), I was immediately interested. Continue reading “Digesting and Reframing Scary Pregnancy Stats”

Entering the Last Lap: 4 Down, 1 to Go

dyestat.com
Image credit: dyestat.com
It’s been four weeks since my in-laws arrived from El Salvador.

Since I had therapy last night, and since we’ve taken a hiatus from my food issues to help me cope with the current situation, I thought I’d give a little update on how I’m doing mentally/physically/emotionally as we enter the “home stretch.”

Even though we have not been talking much about my disordered eating, I’ve noticed a couple positive things that have happened the past four weeks in that department, in spite of great personal angst — or perhaps because of it?

I’ve taken a much more relaxed approach to the gym and it’s made me a saner person — quite the opposite of what I anticipated. Continue reading “Entering the Last Lap: 4 Down, 1 to Go”