Tag: recovery

The Disordered Mind

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A friend wrote this fantastic post that I wanted to share. I identified with it so much that I almost had to ask myself — Self, have you written a post that touches on this, too?

So I started looking and then promptly gave up. I’ve been blogging since June 2008 and have written more than 1,200 posts … too much to sift through and sleep was calling.

Anyway, in her post, Marci — a WW leader and WW success story — says, “I sent my son to Trader Joe’s for an item.  He bought exactly that item.  That’s it.  One item at Trader Joe’s.  Really?  I could NEVER go to Trader Joe’s and not even look around, get tempted with their goodies at every end-cap.  What a light bulb moment to know that some people truly will never have a food problem.  I envy them, but need to accept that, weight problem or not – I will always have a food problem.”

Continue reading “The Disordered Mind” →

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Burger? Yes, please

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For me, relaxing the rules means “living.” While most people in this country need more restrictions on their diet/fitness habits, for a small population of us, we need less restrictions/less rules in order to live more.

Which is why today I joined my two pregnant friends for lunch at Five Guys. Yup, you heard me … FIVE GUYS … home of mega-greasy burgers and mega-greasy bags o’ fries (and mega-awesome fountain drink selection — 100+ flavors!). These same two friends and I were all pregnant with our first kids at the same time back in 2010, but this time, I was the odd man out in that I had no cravings to answer to … I was just going along for the ride. 😉

Continue reading “Burger? Yes, please” →

Why I Won’t “Go Back There”

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Disclaimer: I had been thinking about writing a post like this anyway, but after a couple close friends and family members who read my blog regularly mentioned genuine concern over me wanting to get “back on track” turning into a possible relapse into disordered eating/over-exercising, I decided to write it now. I completely get where they are coming from — it’s all said out of love and care — so I decided to post this today.

Continue reading “Why I Won’t “Go Back There”” →

When Friends Fail Us

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When you begin blogging about something as taboo and uncomfortable as your disordered eating recovery journey, you discover one of three things about your readers.

1) They are people  who read for support, even though they have no food/exercise issues themselves and just maybe like you and/or your style/topics/voice.

2) They are people  who have secretly battled similar (albeit different) demons and find a resource like this blog useful/helpful/encouraging/inspirational.

3) They are people who can’t handle the truth and, upon discovering it, walk away.

While I don’t know most of my readers personally, I’m blessed and happy to say that 99.9 percent of the people I know and love in real life (blogger/WW friends are included here too!) have been in the first two categories. I appreciate them and their support more than they could know … and I’m eternally grateful for them because I couldn’t have done it without them.

But there is one friend who falls into the third category. Continue reading “When Friends Fail Us” →

THANK YOU

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I blog for so many reasons and right now, I want to thank you — my readers — for your loyalty and unwavering support during this PR nightmare I’m entrenched in. I’d also like to thank the new readers who sought out my blog and see the truth behind that completely false and horribly spun Daily Mail story.

As it turns out, the managing editor contacted me back this morning and told me they’d pulled the story and were “investigating.” Um, perhaps you should have done that BEFORE you plastered my name and face and my daughter’s name and face on your site without any conversations with me??!! Without my permission?!!

To say I feel violated is an understatement. Continue reading “THANK YOU” →

From “Disordered” to “(Recovering) Disordered” to “Recovered Disordered”

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My blog has gone through many changes in the nearly three years I’ve been writing (click here for my first post!). While I’ve undergone many physical and emotional changes in that time, the title of this post expresses the surface changes. (And once I can figure out how to edit my darn blog’s custom header I will!)

What does it mean to be “recovered”? I used to question this all the time, and still do.

Let’s look at the facts:

-I’m not chewing/spitting.

-I’m not over-exercising.

-I’m not waking and, half-asleep, eating in the middle of the night.

Those were the methods of my madness, er, disorderedness.

They are in my past. Continue reading “From “Disordered” to “(Recovering) Disordered” to “Recovered Disordered”” →

Ready to Ex-er-cise!

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Two or three weeks before having Maya, I was still getting strong Braxton-Hicks contractions when I exercised. That, coupled with increased pressure on my lower back and bladder, meant workouts were becoming more and more difficult. I made the decision to stop formally working out and was totally OK with it at the time. I knew I was having a C-section and did not want to set myself into early labor if I could avoid it.

The only problem I have with a C-section is the lengthy recovery time–much of which is due to the internal healing one experiences following major abdominal surgery.

Though I physically have felt great since probably 3 days after my C-section, I was certainly in no condition to exercise –hell, I could barely get in and out of a car or bed for two weeks without difficulty!  And even the following few weeks, I felt better and stronger, but had zero energy and couldn’t even fathom finding time to exercise — let alone the physical capacity to do so.

Now, I’m 5+ weeks post-partum and have my 6-week check-up this Friday, where I will hopefully be given the green light to exercise again … and I couldn’t be happier.

Continue reading “Ready to Ex-er-cise!” →

Putting a Name to Face

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This weekend I had the pleasure of enjoying a wonderful lunch with a super-sweet blog reader, Alison. It felt like I was catching up with an old friend and I had a blast — thanks, Alison, we totally need to do it again soon, on your side of the state 😉

Every time I meet a friend in real life who I got to know in cyberspace or the blogosphere, I’m struck by the (beautiful!) irony of the situation.

Given the sensitive and taboo nature of my blog, it started out as a very anonymous blog … and then in time I got more comfortable with the idea of putting my name/face out there as a voice in recovery. Being so open has worked in my favor. In addition to having the support of my loved ones, now, in the past two years, I was interviewed for Fitness magazine about my exercise addiction history; went to a blogger meet-and-greet; and spoken at the FitBloggin’ conference … all very public “outings.” Continue reading “Putting a Name to Face” →

Three Days … !

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In three days, I will be holding my baby girl in my arms. Less than 75 hours. Do you know how mind-blowing that is?! (OK, yes, I’m sure you do, but allow me to marvel!).

Though I’ve always been freaked about not knowing  the “when”  (or “how”) when  it comes to labor and delivery, I have to admit, I think it’s equally bizarre to know!

December 18, 2010, I will become a mother … and though I’ve been known in my family as “Copernicus” for years …  I have never felt as selfless as I do now. Continue reading “Three Days … !” →

The Past as Prologue? Not Necessarily…

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I’ve mentioned a few times that Kate, a grad student at Columbia has been interviewing me for her thesis on disordered eating recovery and pregnancy.

One of the things we spoke about (during one of our many wonderful conversations this summer) was if there was any fear I’d pass along my disordered past to my daughter.

I’ll be honest; this is something that weighed on me long before I ever got a positive on a pee stick … or found out we were having a girl.

And while I can’t make any certain statements about the future, what I do know is this: though I realize I might always have some food issues — I still sometimes emotionally eat; sometimes mindlessly munch; sometimes have to stop myself from using exercise to “undo” a heavy eating weekend; sometimes have to remind myself that it’s OK to eat formerly “off-limits” foods without guilt — I am going to do my damndest not to actively pass on my insecurities to her.

So here’s the million dollar question … HOW?
Continue reading “The Past as Prologue? Not Necessarily…” →