All things considered, I had a great 39 weeks and 6 days of pregnancy. I didn’t hate being pregnant, and I didn’t want Maya out the way many women feel towards the end of their pregnancies. In fact, I would have been content to carry her around a little longer than I did. I never got too huge and was still able to touch my toes the day I delivered, and because I gave birth in December, I never dealt with being very pregnant + hot and sweaty and miserable. My nearly 40 weeks spent pregnant were good ones.
When you’re pregnant, you tend to focus on weeks — wanting to rush ahead to the next week to either get to the “safe zone” (for me — I never felt “safe,” but for many, that’s around the 14/15-week mark). Then, maybe it’s to feel a kick (it was 18 weeks for me) see a real bump (around 20 weeks for me) or to know what size fruit your baby resembles at the moment (kiwi, lemon, papaya, etc). Then as it gets closer to your due date, you’re counting down the weeks til your due date … praying to make it to the 34/36/38 week mark.
It’s all about weeks. Continue reading “As the weeks fly by …” →
Be present in your life.
It sounds like such an obvious statement, but in truth, often I feel detached from myself and my own thoughts … and sometimes even my own life.
I find it interesting that one of the biggest tenets of Judaism is that God is everywhere, in the here and now. Though I wouldn’t say I’m particularly religious, I do feel very spiritual. I interpret this to mean that by proxy, we, as humans, ought to be present in the here and now.
And I worry that this lack of presence could be sabatoging me.
I’m an excellent multi-tasker (many anxious people are) but it’s hard for me to sit still or just allow myself to be caught in a moment without thinking five steps ahead (I’d say it began when I was little — I can remember being on fantastic family vacations, wondering where we were headed next — if we were at Disney, when would we be going to SeaWorld? And if we had a lollipop now, could we still have a treat at night?!).
Even today, if I’m sitting in a meeting, my mind is thinking of the to-do list on my desk and the three things I forgot to check off, the email in my DRAFTS folder, the fact that the oatmeal I had that morning that was just “eh,” how I liked my husband’s new shoes we just bought but maybe we should have chosen them in the darker brown … My mind is so rarely in the here and now. Continue reading “The Greatest Gift: Presence” →