There’s a scene in the HBO documentary THIN where Polly, who is in treatment for anorexia and bulimia, can’t eat a piece of pizza. She just can’t do it.
It makes no sense to a rational person: it’s just food, why can’t she eat it? But to Polly, it’s not. It’s “poison.” It’s “fattening.” It’s “weakness.”
Her therapist asks her in a soft, soothing, low voice if she can’t maybe view it as, “A piece of bread, with some tomato sauce and cheese on top”?
Polly shudders. She can’t. She just can’t. And then she leaves the table.
I don’t understand this, personally. Unlike Polly, I can eat a slice of pizza or a cookie, and I do (ok, if the pizza is in NJ being the pizza snob that I am!).
I’m learning to ungroup/uncategorize foods to make life more enjoyable … it’s been a long process but I’m getting there. I don’t look at foods in such stark black and white terms anymore. Continue reading “Is a Cookie Ever Just a Cookie?”
A part of me fears the following post might be too sensitive or hit too close to home for some readers. I say this because I know my audience ranges from people without any eating disorders and weight issues; people with eating disorders and weight issues; people trying to lose weight; people who have lost weight and kept it off; disordered eaters … friends, family … my readership is all over the place and I love the variety.
I deeply respect and admire the women in this film who sought help, whether it was for the first time or the fifteenth time … and I wish everyone with an ED could do the same: get help. It takes a ton of courage to make that call or visit, and so I have utmost respect for these ladies. And so the readers I’m mostly concerned about in this post are those currently in the throes of their eating disorders; I don’t want to upset anyone — hence today’s pre-post note.
Personally, I don’t know what it’s like to starve myself, and I don’t know what it’s like to binge or purge … I don’t pretend to know what it’s like; for all my disordered eating behaviors, I’ve never dealt with anorexia or bulimia. Though I am coming at this film more as someone perpetually struggling with her weight/body acceptance more than as someone with a clinical eating disorder, I do realize just how serious these diseases are.
Please know I’m not judging anyone; I simply care. My blog is about transparency and being honest, and I can’t sugarcoat how I felt after seeing something so moving.
That said, here is my review of the HBO documentary THIN (2006) which I finally saw for the first time Wednesday night. Continue reading “THIN: The HBO Documentary”