the “perfection” myth

Perfection doesn’t exist, for any one or any thing. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

People, by nature, are flawed. And even the most incredible vacation or meal or outfit innately will have a flaw at some point (a nasty sunburn; food poisoning; a snag in our tights). We just tend to focus on the good because, well, that’s human nature.

We remember drinking piña coladas in the swim-up bar while the sun sets; sinking our fork into the incredible flourless chocolate torte drizzled with raspberry coulis; how sexy we felt dancing in that gorgeous little black dress that made heads turn.

We forget the flaws because the good outweighs the bad.

I’ve never ever — not even for a second, not in a million years– thought of myself as someone who others would see as “perfect” or as someone who has it all together. Not even close. Continue reading “the “perfection” myth”

Perception and Reality

lightbulb1I had an epiphany after watching THIN for the second time, this time with my husband.

Needless to say, he was very, very disturbed by the movie. I’ll be honest, part of why I wanted him to see it was to show him, “Yes I am still struggling, but look, I’m not as extreme as these girls.”

But my husband is incredibly bright, and he knows me so well that it’s scary. While he agrees that I’m not as extreme as those girls, he picked up on some of the things the girls did — their behaviors — that mirrored mine.

To name a few … changing clothes 3 million times (guilty since age 7?), staring at myself in the mirror and prodding (totally a weight loss result — the obsession), chewing-and-spitting (my formerly shameful secret; now I just relapse from time to time), picking apart their food (guilty!), obsessing over weight gain, real or imagined (I try not to, but sometimes find myself doing it) ordering specifically (though that’s nothing new really; I’ve been a picky eater for as long as I can recall); ordering “diety.” (I’ve gotten better with this one).

And I wonder if subconsciously, I wanted him to point these things out in the film. Because they’re all things he’s been concerned about for me for years now; things he’s tried to talk me out of and things that, especially in the beginning, I shrugged off (“I’m not obsessing!”.)

All this time, he’s just wanted to make me see I am beautiful as I am, that I don’t need to obsess over my body, that there’s more to life than my outer self. Continue reading “Perception and Reality”