On Coping Mechanisms

Tonight I watched the movie Precious.

Though I’d read the book it’s based on (Push), I wasn’t quite sure what to expect in the cinematic version.

The book had been very graphic and complex and difficult to get through at times.

Though I read it in one night back in January, I cried and wanted to throw things when reading it — the injustices are just sickening.

I was not disappointed by the film, but, like the book, it certainly wasn’t easy to get through. I mean … how much can one woman be put through?! Continue reading “On Coping Mechanisms”

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Overriding Immediate Gratification

azul_price_tag_dressI’m learning through therapy that I struggle with the notion of “delayed gratification.”

As an anxious person, I like things here and now and done yesterday, not tomorrow.

So naturally, given my anxious hardwiring, it’s not always easy for me to, as Dr. G. says, “override immediate gratification” in favor of delayed gratification.

I can do it for some things that focus on the greater good (journaling diligently, exercising, studying, etc) but not for everything (my less-than-stellar spending habits).

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been a compulsive person. For me it’s never been about drugs or alcohol or gambling or promiscuity or anything that could do me bodily harm, but I am compulsive in my thoughts. Food and shopping tend to be two ways my compulsion manifests itself. (Talking incessantly (or thinking) is another).

For instance, when I go shopping, I go shopping. (i.e., often a spree — after which, I often feel guilty and march back to said stores, receipts in hand). Continue reading “Overriding Immediate Gratification”