the last bottle …

the last bottle ...
**the last bottle**

Behold … the last bottle.

This is it.

The last 5+ ounces of pumped milk for my boy, which he drank last night before bed (ignore the dates on the bottle–this mama had the date wrong). Continue reading “the last bottle …”

quality time, please 

I read this article today (What Mothers Want for Mother’s Day) and found myself nodding throughout … though I’m pretty sure it’s not just working moms who feel this way.

All moms probably want more time in the day to spend quality time with their kids — time that isn’t spent schlepping them from activity to activity or feeding/clothing/bathing them. And as a working-outside-the-home mom, this article definitely rings (sadly) true.

If I could stretch the hours of 6-8 PM … and make them last much longer … I’d be a happy camper. Continue reading “quality time, please 

we were one

I haven’t written poetry in eons, it feels like … but the other night I was so inspired I just started drafting a poem on my phone, allowing the words to just flow while I focused on the present moment with my son.

This is what I wrote. It’s not exactly some award-winning great work, but it captured the essence of how I was feeling in that moment … a moment that, not too far down the road, will just be a distant memory.

Hard to believe my baby is six months old … Continue reading “we were one”

dear time: please stand still …

An anxious person by nature, I’m always looking ahead: to the next phone meeting, the next project, the next phone call, the next workout, the next meal, the next event, the next trip, the next milestone … you name it and I’m already ten steps ahead.

It’s just the way my anxious brain works and, as I learned in my first therapy session six years ago (and contrary to popular belief), it’s not such a bad thing to have an anxious mind. The anxious mind can be an asset: yes, it means we’re always “on” … which can be a nuisance to those we are closest to … but it also means we’re usually going to achieve what we set out to do. We’re not likely to stray too far off course.

Because we’re hard-wired like that. Continue reading “dear time: please stand still …”

I don’t hate running

Post-run selfie. Because why the hell not?
Post-run selfie. Because … why not?

I don’t hate running. I don’t. I just hate the idea of it. Once I’m out there, I’m fine.

At least, that’s what yesterday’s 20 minute impromptu run (#wycwyc)– inspired by my good friend Staci’s awesome 4-miler this weekend — reminded me.

Continue reading “I don’t hate running”

five

five delicious months
five delicious months

He’s five months old today. My little nugget. FIVE MONTHS OLD.

Benjamin Diego is our super-smiley, squawking, babbling, hands-always-in-mouth, almost-sitting-up, Superman-flying little guy. He brings so much joy to our lives and I know I sound like a sap when I talk about him, but I just don’t care. He’s my Benny Boo Bear and I love him to pieces. Continue reading “five”

“Leaning Out” and “Reclining”

About a year ago, I blogged about how I was reading the book Lean In and how I was gleaning quite a bit from it — especially with how I would relate to my daughter and how I wasn’t so sure “leaning in” was for me.

A year and another child later, I still feel the same as I shared in this excerpt here on my blog last March. Continue reading ““Leaning Out” and “Reclining””

game changer

When you’re pregnant with your first, everyone tells you how much your life will change with a baby — and of course they’re right; it most certainly does. In ways we can expect (sleepless nights; your time isn’t your own until bedtime and then you just want to sleep anyway; you’ll never shower in peace again) — and ways we can’t truly grasp til your baby arrives (discovering love like you’ve never known; feeling like you’d throw yourself in front of a bus if it meant saving this little life).

For nearly three awesome years, our world had been centered around our sweet Maya and the little family we had built. Then I got pregnant with Ben and — as I’d expressed here — I knew another baby would shake things up and worried how I’d be able to not only love someone else as much as I loved Maya … but also give as much love and attention to her as I wanted. Continue reading “game changer”

Fake it til you make it

Fake it til you make it.

It’s one of those quotes that’s equally infuriating and powerful at the same time. Infuriating because it’s so hard to act a certain way when you don’t feel a certain way. And it’s powerful because if you can override your feelings and put on an act, you can actually change how you think about a situation. And that is awesome.

Right now — no surprise — I’m feeling this way about body image. Having been at this goat rodeo twice now, three months post-partum seems to be when the “itch” really begins for me. The “itch” to get back into shape.

No doubt having a baby changes your figure–as it should! And after Maya, I still had time to dedicate to the gym, to making my health a priority. Withn four months I was back to my pre-pregnancy weight. But now with two kids and being back at work, I just haven’t quite found my groove with respect to food or fitness. Which means I’m carrying the last 7-10 baby weight pounds.

It’s not just the number on the scale that’s bugging me; that really matters far less to me than how my clothes fit (or don’t). And even more than the tag inside my jeans, I just want to feel a little more in control of my health. So that I’m here for the long haul. Continue reading “Fake it til you make it”