Moms and Swimsuits … what’s the big deal? (If only …)

Anyone who has ever struggled with body image (and who hasn’t?!) knows that the beach is one of the most challenging places to visit on earth. It’s a judgement zone on steroids (or at least, that’s how it feels) and everyone is next to naked … which makes me horribly squeamish.

Even when I was my thinnest (circa 2004-2005), I only liked laying down or walking around with a sarong at the beach/pool. Rationally, I knew that I had a [mostly] flat belly (a gift even when I wasn’t thin) … but I had dimpled thighs, a big bottom and curvy hips — all “flaws. ”

How sad is that? Continue reading “Moms and Swimsuits … what’s the big deal? (If only …)”


Pure. Joy.

Sometimes a photo speaks a thousand words.

We wanted to do something my mother-in-law really enjoys during her last weekend here. So we went to the Amish village of Shipshewana, Indiana. We love a couple local stores there and we like to eat at Essenhaus.

Along the way, I snapped a million pics … per usual. I’m always the one behind the camera and sometimes I worry Maya will think it’s normal to have a camera surgically-implanted to my hand. Oops. Anyway I’m not in them for a couple of reasons (which is fine by me!): Continue reading “Pure. Joy.”

Lunchin’, Shoppin’ Lady

I’ll always be a daughter, wife, and mom. But tomorrow, for a couple hours, I’m just going to be Melissa. I’m taking the whole day off work to spend shopping and lunching with one of my besties at a lux mall in Troy, Mich., and I CANNOT WAIT.

I won’t be carrying a diaper bag. I won’t need to think about nap-times or sippy cups or what to put in a Snack-Trap. (Maya will be at daycare).

I won’t need to worry about my hubby waiting outside a dressing room while I try on my fourteenth pair of jeans. (Luis will be at work).

I won’t need to worry about daycare pick-ups, taking Rocco for a walk, dinner prep or bath-time. (Luis will be doing all that). Continue reading “Lunchin’, Shoppin’ Lady”

From Mama to Parent

One of my friends said something that really resonated with me today: “We’re at the parenting stage now.”

Oh, how right she is!

Though I haven’t been able to spell it out as eloquently and succinctly as she did, that’s exactly how I’ve been feeling.

You see, the first few months of motherhood are spent trying to keep a baby alive. I know how weird that sounds, but it’s true –it’s all about the essentials: food, clothing, shelter, and, most important — love. Then, as a baby learns to eat solids and sit up and crawl and then eventually walk, things get a little more exciting, and Mom’s role morphs. Continue reading “From Mama to Parent”


One of my biggest fears about having a daughter has been passing along my food issues to her. Though I’m long past my dark days of disordered eating, I still think a lot about food and fitness quite a bit (and still journal) and though they don’t plague me, I still emotionally eat from time to time and still have “fat” days. Even though I know I’m not actually “fat,” I certainly have some weight to lose to get to my feel-best weight/size and I will eventually …

[Sadly, even an upcoming Caribbean trip this spring isn’t enough to get me to the gym regularly again and off the sweets. <<Sigh>> One of these days I’ll get it together…]

Anyway, yesterday I had to catch myself when I saw Maya’s daily log at school. Continue reading “Seconds”

Just What the Doctor Ordered …

This weekend was wonderful. My mom, who is temporarily in Ohio for her job on a 4-month contract position, came to visit and we had a much-needed girls’ weekend. We went out to eat, got manicures, saw a movie, shared a delicious cupcake, gabbed and gabbed … it was, in a word, perfect. I *so* needed this time with her!

My mom is one of my best friends. And with her living in N.J. and me living in Michigan, all of our visits are with the whole family and usually for big occasions (family functions, holidays, etc.). And not that I don’t love and adore my dad, brother, sister — of course I do! — but sometimes you just need some mama-and-me time. Continue reading “Just What the Doctor Ordered …”

On the Brink of an Identity Crisis

I’ve blogged before about how, when I began blogging, I’d been advised about not pigeon-holing myself into a domain name/URL that would follow me forever that I might, someday, want to move past.

But so entrenched in my own situation I was at the time, that it didn’t really start to bother me for about a year. So I added (Recovering) to my blog’s title, and then I got pregnant and have been blogging about that … but now I’m about to become a mom and I feel recovered and don’t want to be pigeon-holed any longer.

So please bear with me as I do some soul-searching to see what direction my blog takes in the coming months. Continue reading “On the Brink of an Identity Crisis”

Mom’s Wisdom

imagesAfter reading my Cravings, Sweet Cravings entry this week, my mom e-mailed me with some thoughts she had that really hit home.

Sometimes I think it’s amazing how my family and friends can sometimes make me see things about myself that therapy didn’t unearth.

Anyway, she said thinks sometimes I am like a Depression Era survivor, like my grandmother (her mom, my dear Bubby!) who hoarded/stock-piled food, as if the stuff might never be there again. When she died they found more canned goods than most soup kitchens probably have access to — but they were all expired. Continue reading “Mom’s Wisdom”