I didn’t post on Friday because I wanted to enjoy my birthday with no distractions.
While blogging is fun for me, some nights/days it can be like a job…and if I truly wanted to savor the day/weekend, I needed to separate myself for a little bit from the laptop. And thinking about food/exercise.
Ironically, Thursday night (my birthday) I had my first qualifiable “binge” — it was ridiculous. I ate like 10 points at 2 a.m. It was ugly. And I felt awful on Friday.
The thing was, I had had such a great day (lots of calls, e-mails, gorgeous flowers from my husband and a wonderful gift), and had been planning on saving my points for my big birthday dinner out on Friday night with friends …
In retrospect, I think maybe I should have treated myself to something on my actual birthday, because it backfired royally. Instead of savoring something with my husband and friends, I ended up eating alone, mindlessly, at 2 a.m. It was as though I’d been “deprived.”
Vitamin G, Glamour’s health and fitness blog, addresses my midnight eating issues and asks others for their stories. Thanks Sarah!! 🙂
Note: When I shared my tales of midnight woe with the blogger, Sarah, (who’s great!), I personally never used the word “gorge” (because my midnight snacking is still very controlled — even when happening in a stupor, I’m measuring, which only makes the occurrences even odder). But since other people she knows have confessed to “gorgeing,” she used that word and now I understand why.
More ink — and on my birthday, no less!! 29 — SAVOR!
So my other disordered eating behavior — which my therapist says isn’t actually disordered — is waking up at midnight and eating … even after a great, healthy food day … even after I’ve been satisfied.
It usually happens during my period, which is this week … and I’ve used up 90% of my WPAs between the hours of 1 and 3 a.m. this week. Not even joking.
And it wasn’t emotional eating either– I’d had a great day at work followed by a wonderful night with my husband that included a fab sweat session at the gym and awesome bonding when I got home. No troubles on these calm seas.
Hell, I even put a NO CHOICE sign on the fridge and my cabinet last night … but it didn’t stop me.
These night-time snacks (but no spitting — seven days strong!!) are totally sabatoging me in every way, yet when they’re happening, it’s as though I am out of control of my own body.
I know they are part of what is holding me back from my goal weight and happiness with my body. I hope to sleep through the night tonight …
How about you? Do you wake and eat? How do you stop? Locking the door hasn’t even helped me …