Holy SMOKES.
Today, the most crazy thing happened: Anderson Cooper’s talent people found my blog and asked if I’d be interested in flying to NY to do a future segment on night-time eating disorders.
And I had to say no. Continue reading “Saying “No” to Anderson …”
Wouldn’t you know it, that after my post about midnight waking/eating … I’ve now woken the past two nights, but somehow not been in so much of a stupor that I was actually able to go back to bed after using the bathroom.
Murphy’s Law, I tell you!!
What was different? I don’t really know. I’ve said before, it’s something that seems to “happen to me” versus me doing, since it’s like sleepwalking. But now I’ve had two ok nights … since that post!
Last night I ordered unsweetened iced tea (and agua) at dinner out vs. Diet Coke — less caffeine. That could play a role; I never thought caffeine affected me, but maybe it — or the fake sugar in Diet Coke — does. Hmmm ….! I’ve tried to quit it in the past but now my consumption is just “less.”
Just wanted to share that little update. Have a great day!
No, no, not chewing and spitting (whew!)
After months and months of not waking and eating in the middle of the night, save for the occasional blip on the radar (usually right before my period), the past three weeks I’ve been doing it again fairly regularly, I’m sad to say.
I always wake to use the bathroom … and sometimes I just go back to bed. But other times, I find myself making a beeline for the kitchen in a stupor, a fog.
Often in the past I could tie it to stress, or emotions.
But the irony is, I’m not stressed or feeling particularly emotional — in fact, I feel the calmest I’ve been in ages! Life is good; I feel like I’m in a good place in all aspects of my life: love, family, friends, work, self-image, fitness, health … even financially.
I’m eating enough during the day, I’m eating cleanly (and not restrictively) … I’ve been careful about not over-exercising. So what gives?!
There’s really no excuse, but I’ve noticed once I have one or two nights of doing it, it becomes a habitual thing. And I want so desperately to nip it, once and for all. Yet it seems to keep rearing its ugly head. Continue reading “It’s Happening Again …”
When it’s that time of the month, I crave chocolate like most women. But I also tend be hungrier in general, and I don’t think I’m alone in that.
I think this explains why I tend to wake up during the middle of the night during my period; I’m genuinely hungry due to wacky horomonal changes. It’s not mindless, it’s not emotional. It’s hunger.
(I’ve heard before that during mestruation a woman burns an extra several hundred calories a day; not sure how true that is, but if so, it explains a lot!)
The rest of the month, I’ve no real excuse for my midnight wake-ups. My loyal readers know I’ve pondered the “why” for months and not come up with any specific answer. But I can assure you that when I wake during my period, it’s usually for a good reason.
And when I woke the other night and found myself in the kitchen, I went for 2 T of PB.
Yes, I spent 5 points on PB at 2 a.m … but it was well-worth it. I just docked them from Tuesday’s meal plan. Continue reading “Obeying Hunger”
My pledge to only eat when seated hasn’t been working.
I haven’t eaten in my car (save for chewing a piece of sugar-free gum) but every night for the past week (except for one night) I’ve woken and eaten … standing up.
As you know, this has been a problem I’ve been dealing with for over three years now, on and off.
My doctors have no explanation, my therapist doesn’t see it as a problem (and moreover, she wants me to not view it as a problem, either).
But I am sick and tired of not sleeping through the night. Of restless nights and stressed-out mornings because I “didn’t make it through the night.” Continue reading “Midnight Munchies”
Is there a former-trigger food you’ve since made peace with and can have in your home or at your office?
Cold cereal — healthy ones, in particular — used to be my biggest downfall. I used to have major problems with both Kashi Go-Lean Crunch and Barbara’s cinnamon Puffins (the best cereal — EVER).
My midnight incidents in D.C. often included Puffins or Kashi. Especially Puffins, with their cinnamony goodness.
At 100 calories per 2/3 c., I could easily have made a healthy snack … but I’d have two servings at 3:00 a.m. Not exactly conducive to a successful weight loss strategy. Continue reading “Making Peace With Triggers”
It was destined to happen.
I’ve always had my midnight incidents, but I’ve never called them a real “binge” because I had never been truly out of control. I always weighed and measured, and never went beyond 5 pts.
But last night at 2 a.m., after going to bed happy and tired at 12:30 when my husband got home from class and we’d chatted, I woke suddenly at 2:22 a.m. and the monster hit. No clue why. I’d had a good day, a happy day (despite hearing that a family member — a second cousin — had passed away).
I am mortified to share this damage with you, but I’d be lying to myself if I didn’t share my stumbles as well as my successes.
After a 23 pt day with moderate exercise (a walk and then 2 activity points (APs) of cardio at the gym) I ate pretty much anything I hadn’t had that day and had thought about — all at once!
This is what I consumed, alone at 2:22 a.m. with no rhyme or reason. 😦 Continue reading “Hanging Head in Shame …”
I didn’t post on Friday because I wanted to enjoy my birthday with no distractions.
While blogging is fun for me, some nights/days it can be like a job…and if I truly wanted to savor the day/weekend, I needed to separate myself for a little bit from the laptop. And thinking about food/exercise.
Ironically, Thursday night (my birthday) I had my first qualifiable “binge” — it was ridiculous. I ate like 10 points at 2 a.m. It was ugly. And I felt awful on Friday.
The thing was, I had had such a great day (lots of calls, e-mails, gorgeous flowers from my husband and a wonderful gift), and had been planning on saving my points for my big birthday dinner out on Friday night with friends …
In retrospect, I think maybe I should have treated myself to something on my actual birthday, because it backfired royally. Instead of savoring something with my husband and friends, I ended up eating alone, mindlessly, at 2 a.m. It was as though I’d been “deprived.”
But I didn’t let it ruin the tone of the weekend — which is progress. Continue reading “Savoring 29 Already :)”
Today I was featured (for the second time!) on Glamour.com.
Vitamin G, Glamour’s health and fitness blog, addresses my midnight eating issues and asks others for their stories. Thanks Sarah!! 🙂
Note: When I shared my tales of midnight woe with the blogger, Sarah, (who’s great!), I personally never used the word “gorge” (because my midnight snacking is still very controlled — even when happening in a stupor, I’m measuring, which only makes the occurrences even odder). But since other people she knows have confessed to “gorgeing,” she used that word and now I understand why.
More ink — and on my birthday, no less!! 29 — SAVOR!
So my other disordered eating behavior — which my therapist says isn’t actually disordered — is waking up at midnight and eating … even after a great, healthy food day … even after I’ve been satisfied.
It usually happens during my period, which is this week … and I’ve used up 90% of my WPAs between the hours of 1 and 3 a.m. this week. Not even joking.
And it wasn’t emotional eating either– I’d had a great day at work followed by a wonderful night with my husband that included a fab sweat session at the gym and awesome bonding when I got home. No troubles on these calm seas.
Hell, I even put a NO CHOICE sign on the fridge and my cabinet last night … but it didn’t stop me.
These night-time snacks (but no spitting — seven days strong!!) are totally sabatoging me in every way, yet when they’re happening, it’s as though I am out of control of my own body.
I know they are part of what is holding me back from my goal weight and happiness with my body. I hope to sleep through the night tonight …
How about you? Do you wake and eat? How do you stop? Locking the door hasn’t even helped me …
Let There Be Light 