Breastfeeding ROI

If my breasts were a business, any financial analyst would have recommended I close shop a long time ago. My ROI (return on investment) sucks.

You see, I pump all day long … including four sessions at work … and make 10-12 oz. of milk for Maya. Basically, two bottles of the five she drinks in a day.

And it’s exhausting.

While our little munchkin has been sleeping through the night since she was eleven weeks old, I am still waking up to pump most mornings around 2 or 3 AM. I’d love to just skip that pump, but it’s an issue of supply and demand: my supply sucks as it is, and I don’t want to make it any worse by not pumping.

On top of that nightly annoyance, I’m sick of lugging my Medela Pump in Style Advanced bag and gear to work with me every day and I’m sick of leaving my desk four times a day to pump at the office and I’m sick of being tethered to tubes while we watch TV or I blog at night.

But yet I keep on keeping on.

Because while one little angel on my shoulder whispers, “Breast is best” and encourages me that any little bit I can give her is better than none  and reminds me of all the health benefits of it … the other little angel on my shoulder says, “You’ve given it your all. Maya has gotten a great start. Be kind to yourself; it’s OK to stop.” (Notice they are BOTH angels; there is no “right” and “wrong” here, only what’s “right” for me  — and what is right for me seems to change day to day). Continue reading “Breastfeeding ROI”


I Cry Over Spilled Milk

I’m a breastfeeding mom who prefers pumping to nursing. Don’t get me wrong; I love it when Maya nurses …it’s a primitive and beautiful bonding experience and one that has definitely made me feel closer to her, especially when she’s staring up at me with those big baby blues.

I just don’t want to do it all day/every day. And in a couple weeks, I’ll be going back to work anyway.

Since I don’t make enough for her on my own, I’m still supplementing formula (probably 8-12 oz a day; in total, she’s taking in roughly 28-32 oz a day) so it’s not like she isn’t familiar with a bottle, and pumping has provided a great way for my husband (or eager family members/friends) with a way to feed her, too. Continue reading “I Cry Over Spilled Milk”