“THEN I Go To School?”

When Maya first began daycare at three months of age, I loathed the idea. I knew realistically I had to go back to work for a variety of reasons, but I hated the thought of anyone other than me or Luis caring for our child. And though I loved my job, I hated the thought of returning to the demands and structure of the workforce. But above all, I hated the idea of being away from my sweet baby all day.

I knew it would be hard, but I had no idea just how hard it would be. Those early days back at work were hell, made only worse by the rigorous and stress-inducing pumping schedule I had coupled with normal postpartum emotions. Those first few weeks I wondered every day if I was making a mistake and the only thing that kept me going was knowing I could get a real-time view of her daily life through the webcam at school.

Continue reading ““THEN I Go To School?””

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Asking for Help

chemistry%20labThough I took all Honors/AP classes in high school and did really well at nearly all of them, I found out the hard way I simply wasn’t cut out for Honors Chemistry … and probably should have cut my losses instead of pushing myself through the class.

But, being stubborn and not being one to easily accept that I’m not good at something … I finished the class.

Our teacher, Mrs. Gantz, used to tell us (her “Chem Wizards”) that we were “sucking wind” when we didn’t get something but thought we did/pretended to, to avoid embarassment … and then flunked a quiz or exam.

This happened a lot with me; I’d study like mad, I’d think I knew the material … and then suddenly would find myself battering test anxiety, discovering I couldn’t balance chemical reactions and was just kidding myself. I was always more interested in reading/writing/history than science, and it showed. Continue reading “Asking for Help”