Walking the fine line

When you’re someone who has publicly struggled with her weight and a disordered eating past, people close to you — and even those not-so-close — tend to scrutinize you when they think you might be, shall we say, “taking things too far.”

While I know in my heart of hearts the comments and concern are valid (hello,  experience does indeed point to a past problem) and well-intentioned (the comments are said by people who love me and care), the past is not always a predictor of the future. And I know in my heart of hearts that I am not ever going back there. Continue reading “Walking the fine line”

Advertisements

The Past as Prologue? Not Necessarily…

I’ve mentioned a few times that Kate, a grad student at Columbia has been interviewing me for her thesis on disordered eating recovery and pregnancy.

One of the things we spoke about (during one of our many wonderful conversations this summer) was if there was any fear I’d pass along my disordered past to my daughter.

I’ll be honest; this is something that weighed on me long before I ever got a positive on a pee stick … or found out we were having a girl.

And while I can’t make any certain statements about the future, what I do know is this: though I realize I might always have some food issues — I still sometimes emotionally eat; sometimes mindlessly munch; sometimes have to stop myself from using exercise to “undo” a heavy eating weekend; sometimes have to remind myself that it’s OK to eat formerly “off-limits” foods without guilt — I am going to do my damndest not to actively pass on my insecurities to her.

So here’s the million dollar question … HOW?
Continue reading “The Past as Prologue? Not Necessarily…”