This week I completely expected to see a gain on the scale–even though it was supposed to be my first week back “OP” (what we Weight Watchers refer to as “on program” or “on plan”).
Last week I made it to the gym at 5:30 M-Th as I’d hoped, and took Friday off. I planned to go to Zumba Saturday but hubby had a study group and daycare at the gym doesn’t open til 9 (class is at 8:15) and then Sunday we had too much going on to carve out time to go, so I made do with long walks and lots of house-cleaning. But in spite of thinking more about my choices, my eating was still pretty craptastic … and I went over my Points by 48.
Winter’s on its way, and my clothes are a little snug and not looking as great as they could lately …
Clothes-shopping this weekend was tough. Fun with my friends, of course, but though I found some cute tops, the extra weight (ok, inch) I’m carrying on my hips at the moment made it hard for me to be excited about trying on jeans; they didn’t lay right.
As luck would have it, the Joe’s jeans I really wanted, they didn’t have in the right color (though the size fit — they were too light; I am on the hunt for a darker pair).
I just don’t feel the same love for weight loss I felt four and a half years ago.
Like a love affair gone bad, I don’t get the tingles anymore when I think of losing. My mojo is kaput! Right now, my heart hasn’t been into it, plain and simple.
Actually, who am I kidding? For the past year I’ve not lost… just yo-yoed the same pounds. And I am starting to “feel” the weight spreading on my hips, my midsection widening (which very well could be my period coming today, making me “feel” fat).
This weekend I was sick … and still ate. It wasn’t bingeing, but I still ate. Anyone else might have been able to capitalize on the lack of hunger … not me! I like food … like my dad teases, I was born hungry.
The thing is, I don’t want to settle where I am (I’m still aiming for my goal by the end of the year), but I am still eating too much to lose — even if it’s within my Points.
I’ve not been treating my body as good as I could, and it’s showing in how I feel physically and emotionally.
So I need to rekindle that love I felt back in April 2004 … when it was so new, fresh, and exciting. When every week yeilded a loss. Looser clothing each month. A new bounce in my step.
Back to clean eating today!
How about you? How do you get back that loving feeling for weight loss, and how long does it take? Or does “getting it back” lead you further down a destructive disordered eating path?