Even when I was at my goal weight in 2004/2005, I still wasn’t satisfied.
When people told me I looked great, I’d shrug it off , embarassed, and say, “Aw, thanks … but I’m not there yet!” I was afraid of admitting this was “it.” (What if there was more to lose?!)
Some days I’d say I felt “fat” when rationally it was just not so; I just “felt” that way.
Having never been thin and having nothing to compare my body to was a sucky situation to be in. I didn’t know where I was “comfortable” — except that it “had” to be X lbs.
X lbs., that sounded like a nice, good number. In my head.
I suffered from total body dysmorphia, but didn’t know it at the time. And, no surprise, I never got down to X.
That should have been clue #1 that I was aiming for the unattainable/unmaintainable for myself. Sure, it seemed reasonable, but it just wasn’t. Not for me, not for my build. Not without starving myself. (And if you know me, you know there was no way I was going to do that. I might have been restrictive/choosy for a while there, but I could never deprive myself of food. I love it too much).
Then when I saw the scale go up a little, I’d freak out and over-react and go into “I’m fat mode” again in my head … which, naturally, did nothing but put my anxiety into overdrive. Continue reading “The Girl Who Cried Wolf”→
You probably know that eating a diet with a strong emphasis on healthy unsaturated fats offers protection from heart disease, lowers blood pressure, and improves cholesterol (decreasing the level of harmful LDL cholesterol and increasing protective HDL cholesterol). Plus a ton of other good things: like giving you good hair, good skin, strong nails, etc. Can’t beat that, right?
Well, ironically, I recently learned that it’s very likely that some of my weight gain has been related to a lack of said fat in my diet.
And I’m not alone.
After discussing what I eat on a typical day during my last session with Dr. G., she called me out on it: that I barely ingest any fat and that it could be hindering my ability to lose weight. Continue reading “I Don’t Eat Enough Fat”→
While we aren’t planning on starting a family in this very moment (my husband just began an MBA program at University of Michigan this fall, so ideally we’d like to wait a little longer), it’s been on my mind a lot more lately.
As a little girl, some of my favorite family memories are of buffets we’d go to on vacation. While visiting relatives down south, we’d always stop at Shoney’s … the Holy Grail of quick, economical road eats.
For my parents, it was easy: all three nagging kids could get what they wanted, and without the fuss of a sit-down restaurant.
As we got older, we’d go to buffet brunches at nice restaurants or hotels on holidays or special occassions. I’d usually stuff myself senseless, going up for seconds, thirds … (why not?) as we’d languish around the table.
In college, our dining hall was catered by Marriott, various food stations and … all you can eat. And ate I did.
I saw The Women this past weekend, a re-make about both friendship and trust … as well as betrayal and loss.
Aside from it being a terrible movie with an all-star cast that was both poorly scripted/delivered and under-acted (or over-acted, depending on the character), it did nothing to help young women’s body image issues.
For a movie is written by a woman, and that only stars women (in fact, there’s one one male in the entire film and he makes his guest appearance in the delivery room!) you’d think it would have been the perfect opportunity to make some strides in this department, showcase some “she-woman body-love power!”.