The Disordered Mind

A friend wrote this fantastic post that I wanted to share. I identified with it so much that I almost had to ask myself — Self, have you written a post that touches on this, too?

So I started looking and then promptly gave up. I’ve been blogging since June 2008 and have written more than 1,200 posts … too much to sift through and sleep was calling.

Anyway, in her post, Marci — a WW leader and WW success story — says, “I sent my son to Trader Joe’s for an item.  He bought exactly that item.  That’s it.  One item at Trader Joe’s.  Really?  I could NEVER go to Trader Joe’s and not even look around, get tempted with their goodies at every end-cap.  What a light bulb moment to know that some people truly will never have a food problem.  I envy them, but need to accept that, weight problem or not – I will always have a food problem.”

Continue reading “The Disordered Mind”

Major Ink –> Mixed Emotions

A loooong time ago I mentioned that a student pursuing her master’s in journalism at Columbia was interviewing me during my pregnancy for her graduate thesis. Every two weeks or so during my pregnancy we’d touch base just to see where I was at mentally and physically, and it was a great way to put into words some of what I was feeling.

She recently told me that the story was going to be published somewhere big … but didn’t say where.

Well … today I got an email and whoa nelly, there it is! ABCNews.com in the Health section: Pregorexia: When Pregnancy and Eating Disorders Mix.

Aside from the title, which I think is a bit misleading (and I know editors make those decisions, not the writers themselves — I wouldn’t describe myself as having battled pregorexia) … the article is totally accurate and true to form.

I did chew and spit and overexercise previously. I was afraid of getting fat during my pregnancy. I did emotionally eat during the testing. I never returned to chewing/spitting or overexercising as coping mechanisms; I put Maya first.

There’s nothing untrue there. It’s just hard to realize that, hey, that’s ME they’re talking about! Continue reading “Major Ink –> Mixed Emotions”

First Lady Tackling Childhood Obesity

It’s no secret among those who know me in real life that I’m a liberal Democrat, or that I absolutely adore First Lady Michelle Obama as a career woman, mother, wife, and fitness role model.

She just strikes me as authentic, and authenticity has come to mean a lot to me over the past few years.

And I absolutely love her big cause right now, fighting childhood obesity, because it is an epidemic that has impacted — and will continue to impact – our country, if we don’t take collective action to mitigate it now. Continue reading “First Lady Tackling Childhood Obesity”

Help Eating Disorder Sufferers Get Well

This is a repost from WeAretheRealDeal.com, written by MamaV. I wanted to share her whole message here.


We are a community of eating disorder sufferers and survivors.

WeAreTheRealDeal is dedicated to helping eating disorder sufferers in an effort to provide treatment and education through the National Eating Disorder Association (NEDA).

The economy is tight & budgets are strained, but your donation will go directly to helping those like you, & friends or family members who need to heal from their ED.

Continue reading “Help Eating Disorder Sufferers Get Well”

In Proposed Campaign Against Eating Disorders, France Mulls “Health Warning” for Fashion Photos

healthwarningNote: This is a cross-post I did today at WeAretheRealDeal.com

According to a recent report, French politicians want to stamp a “health warning” on photographs of models that are altered (i.e., Photochopped) in order to make them more appealing. This is part of a campaign against eating disorders.

You can read the brief article verbatim after the jump.

Continue reading “In Proposed Campaign Against Eating Disorders, France Mulls “Health Warning” for Fashion Photos”

The Julie/Julia Project

julie_juliaCan I just say that watching Julie & Julia this weekend was like watching my wildest dreams unfold– only it was a dream I didn’t know I had until  I saw this movie.

If you’re not familiar with the movie, it’s the true tales of two women: Julia Child’s life in Paris before she was the famous chef, and Julie Powell, a young woman from Queens who, miserable with her job, decides to do something incredible and blogs her way through Julia Child’s Mastering the Art of French Cooking — committing to make 524 recipes over 365 days.  

The movie hit home on so many levels, and I took a lot away from it.

First, I could totally relate to Julie Powell. We’re about the same age as she was when she began blogging. Like Julie, she started blogging about a passion of hers (food), not knowing –or caring — if anyone out there in the giant blogosphere would be listening.

Blogging becomes a very self-absorbed hobby/passion of Julie’s; I can certainly relate to that. There are several scenes where her husband is trying to be cutesy or romantic and she pushes him away in favor of working on her “art” — I can relate to that, too.

Continue reading “The Julie/Julia Project”

How Disordered Do You Want to Be?

stop-the-insanity-2I ask this because I, like you, have a choice.

The answer for me is … not at all.

We have a choice. We might tell ourselves our disordered minds are in control, but they’re not. We are.

If we punish ourselves with restriction or over-exercising, or if we punish ourselves with a binge, we’re doing it to ourselves.

It’s not about the food or the exercise; it’s always about something else. Food or exercise (lack of it or over-abundance of it) is a coping mechanism.

And I don’t want to use either as my coping mechanisms any longer.

This weekend, during an Honest.Open.Willing. chat with my husband, he asked me point-blank, “When will the obsession end?”

He sees me more than any of my friends and family, and he sees glimmers of hope, some aspects of behavioral change. He knows I want to be better, to be more fun again, to be the happy girl I was when I was heavy … but he (as well as others close to me) have said, ” … but the obsession is still there.”

He’s right, it is.

I want to turn it off. I don’t want to be disordered, or have disordered thoughts, or to make progress only to fall back. Continue reading “How Disordered Do You Want to Be?”

The Help Tab

help2Like any savvy blogger, I check my blog’s stats each day. I like to know how people are finding my blog, where they’re coming from … and — most importantly — what they’re clicking on.

While it’s always nice to see comments, or to see how many hits a particular entry got … or didn’t get, which sometimes happens, too … the data point that interests me most is how many people are clicking on the HELP page each day.

As it turns out, at least 267 people have clicked on the help link since I added it in late November. That means a lot to me. Continue reading “The Help Tab”

THIN: The HBO Documentary

thin-posterA part of me fears the following post might be too sensitive or hit too close to home for some readers. I say this because I know my audience ranges from people without any eating disorders and weight issues; people with eating disorders and weight issues; people trying to lose weight; people who have lost weight and kept it off; disordered eaters … friends, family … my readership is all over the place and I love the variety.

I deeply respect and admire the women in this film who sought help, whether it was for the first time or the fifteenth time … and I wish everyone with an ED could do the same: get help. It takes a ton of courage to make that call or visit, and so I have utmost respect for these ladies. And so the readers I’m mostly concerned about in this post are those currently in the throes of their eating disorders; I don’t want to upset anyone — hence today’s pre-post note.

Personally, I don’t know what it’s like to starve myself, and I don’t know what it’s like to binge or purge … I don’t pretend to know what it’s like; for all my disordered eating behaviors, I’ve never dealt with anorexia or bulimia. Though I am coming at this film more as someone perpetually struggling with her weight/body acceptance more than as someone with a clinical eating disorder, I do realize just how serious these diseases are.

Please know I’m not judging anyone; I simply care. My blog is about transparency and being honest, and I can’t sugarcoat how I felt after seeing something so moving.

That said, here is my review of the HBO documentary THIN (2006) which I finally saw for the first time Wednesday night. Continue reading “THIN: The HBO Documentary”