Eat the Damn Brownie

I want to share this awesome article I read at Rookiemag.com called Eating: A Manifesto that author and blogger Clare Mysko shared on Facebook today, which could be best summed up by this paragraph in the piece:

“Could we stop feeling ‘guilty’ for wanting an effing brownie? Or a plate of fries? Could we stop actively seeking permission from our friends to go ahead and ‘be bad’ and order the cheesecake? Could we all just go ahead and order whatever it is that we feel like eating, instead of saying, ‘Oh, I feel like a pig, you guys are just getting salads’?” Continue reading “Eat the Damn Brownie”
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Live Your Life

This weekend was an amazing one. First, it was a phenomenal sunset cruise with Luis to celebrate his birthday — followed by a moonlit stroll while enjoying rich, salted caramel ice cream at Kilwin’s and chocolates. The next day was all about awesome shopping and meals in Chicago for a much-needed girls’ weekend with some of my closest work friends. (For any foodies out there — we hit up Atwood Cafe for lunch, RPM for dinner, and Toast for brunch).

When it came to food, I felt like the old me — the pre-disordered me. And it was AWESOME. I felt like I ate intuitively. I didn’t track my Points, I didn’t “keep score,” didn’t worry about anything really — I just focused on the company and the atmosphere and the deliciousness. I ate til I was satisfied and stopped when I felt full. I drank who knows how many glasses of Prosecco and a really big glass of Riesling. I felt pleasantly full but not at all stuffed. And I laughed so hard my stomach hurt, which was exactly what I needed.  Continue reading “Live Your Life”

Seconds

One of my biggest fears about having a daughter has been passing along my food issues to her. Though I’m long past my dark days of disordered eating, I still think a lot about food and fitness quite a bit (and still journal) and though they don’t plague me, I still emotionally eat from time to time and still have “fat” days. Even though I know I’m not actually “fat,” I certainly have some weight to lose to get to my feel-best weight/size and I will eventually …

[Sadly, even an upcoming Caribbean trip this spring isn’t enough to get me to the gym regularly again and off the sweets. <<Sigh>> One of these days I’ll get it together…]

Anyway, yesterday I had to catch myself when I saw Maya’s daily log at school. Continue reading “Seconds”

Food Evolutions

Now that Maya is starting to eat solids (rice cereal with her 10 AM feeding — soon to be coupled with fruit; a veggie with her 4 PM feeding; a little more cereal with her 7 PM feeding), a whole new world has opened up for our family.

Watching her slurp up her solids (and getting them ALL over her face or all over ME when she blows raspberries with a full mouth [manners will come later!]), attempt to “chew” with her gums, and open her little birdie mouth for the spoon (it’s the cutest thing!) I got to thinking about how my own relationship with food has evolved since my infancy.

I’ve said before that my disordered habits didn’t begin til 2005, a year AFTER I lost weight on Weight Watchers. But looking back at my food history, I noticed there were some not-so-obvious hints at a future problem.

I could sum my evolution in seven phases: Childhood (ages 0-13), High School, College, Weight Watchers, Borderline Orthorexia, Chewing/Spitting, Pregnancy, and Now. Continue reading “Food Evolutions”

When Friends Fail Us

When you begin blogging about something as taboo and uncomfortable as your disordered eating recovery journey, you discover one of three things about your readers.

1) They are people  who read for support, even though they have no food/exercise issues themselves and just maybe like you and/or your style/topics/voice.

2) They are people  who have secretly battled similar (albeit different) demons and find a resource like this blog useful/helpful/encouraging/inspirational.

3) They are people who can’t handle the truth and, upon discovering it, walk away.

While I don’t know most of my readers personally, I’m blessed and happy to say that 99.9 percent of the people I know and love in real life (blogger/WW friends are included here too!) have been in the first two categories. I appreciate them and their support more than they could know … and I’m eternally grateful for them because I couldn’t have done it without them.

But there is one friend who falls into the third category. Continue reading “When Friends Fail Us”

Seven Years

Today marks seven years  I’ve been on Weight Watchers. (You can read my 5-year WW anniversary post here)

Seven years of journaling (for better or worse).

Seven years of a commitment to health and fitness (for better or worse).

Seven years of changing clothes sizes (for better and for worse).

During these seven years I have changed so much …  physically, mentally, and emotionally. I’m not the same person I was 7 years ago at 24 … and I’m not even the same person I was two years ago at 29. Continue reading “Seven Years”

THANK YOU

I blog for so many reasons and right now, I want to thank you — my readers — for your loyalty and unwavering support during this PR nightmare I’m entrenched in. I’d also like to thank the new readers who sought out my blog and see the truth behind that completely false and horribly spun Daily Mail story.

As it turns out, the managing editor contacted me back this morning and told me they’d pulled the story and were “investigating.” Um, perhaps you should have done that BEFORE you plastered my name and face and my daughter’s name and face on your site without any conversations with me??!! Without my permission?!!

To say I feel violated is an understatement. Continue reading “THANK YOU”