Unpredictability

I’m a planner. A Type A organizer. I don’t just do things on a whim (except impulse purchases … that’s the exception!). I like to know what’s happening when, and hate not being in control of a situation.

Which is why having a totally unpredictable newborn is driving me bonkers.

There, I said it. Having a newborn is HARD.  Continue reading “Unpredictability”

… From 3-Hour Intervals to 2-Hour Intervals

Well, we had Maya’s weight check-in today and unfortunately, my little girl lost weight.

She was 6 lbs 4 oz at birth; 5 lbs 9 oz when we left the hospital; 5 lbs 12.5 oz last Thursday (YEA, adequate gain!) … and then 5 lbs 10 oz today (BOO, she lost and lost a lot).

Which means she is not getting enough from my breast milk alone. 😦

I realize this happens to a lot of women, but I hoped it wouldn’t happen to me. I hoped I’d be able to fully sustain her on my own … but it doesn’t look that way, at least not for now.

I’m not giving up … but it was definitely not the news I wanted to hear. It does explain, though, why she gets so fussy late at night and seems to go in for the kill at feeding times; little baby girl is HANGRY! Continue reading “… From 3-Hour Intervals to 2-Hour Intervals”

Accepting Deprivation With Grace

“You need to learn to accept deprivation with grace,” Dr. G. advised me last night.

“You’ll need to change your mindset about how you’re viewing their visit… and it won’t be easy.”

(In case you haven’t figured out by now, Thursday generally = therapy).

We were talking about my anxiety levels with my in-laws being here, and how it no doubt puts a strain on my relationship with my husband, as well as how I feel about myself and my quasi-“hateful” reactions at times.

She said no doubt I am deprived right now (she said she would be too!): my whole house has been “invaded,” foreign objects and foods and “things” are everywhere, depriving me of my sense of “order”.

There’s a language challenge (despite me speaking Spanish and my mother-in-law speaking English, neither of us are completely fluent anymore) which means my communication abilities are deprived. Continue reading “Accepting Deprivation With Grace”