Crying over spilled — and spit-up — milk

I wouldn’t say I had a successful breastfeeding experience with Maya. I did a combo of nursing, pumping and formula for her first nine months and stressed myself to the max. My supply sucked, but I kept at it … even when only two of her seven or so feedings a day were coming from me. I guilted myself into doing it because I thought I “should,” but in retrospect, I really didn’t give it my all.

This time, I took a different approach. I said I’d give it my all, but refused to feel guilted into it if things weren’t going well. Nearly seven weeks in, I can say it has actually not been too terrible and I feel like I truly have been giving it my all. I got help when we needed it early on with the lactation consultants and as Ben’s latch got better, the experience became less burdensome. I supplemented with formula when he was losing weight (and am still giving him some each day). I’m eating more (and therefore not losing any more weight at the moment). I’m eating oatmeal and drinking more water (to help boost supply). Continue reading “Crying over spilled — and spit-up — milk”


On Nine Months

The gestational period for a human being is nine months. If you think about it, it’s a LONG frickin’ time, especially compared to the gestational age of animals.

But when you take into account the fact that I didn’t even know I was pregnant til I was almost nine weeks along and the fact that, at ten weeks, we found out there was quite possible something very wrong with the baby … I never experienced the full impact of pregnancy — least of all its full duration.

My experience was tainted with agony and anxiety … anxiety that wasn’t really allayed until Maya–sweet and healthy as could be–was placed into my arms at 9:02 AM on Saturday, December 18, 2010.

And now, today, our little Maya hit the nine month mark. She’s been out of the womb as long as she has been in and, frankly, that milestone is mind-blowing to me. It hasn’t felt like it’s been nine months … yet at the same time, it’s hard to remember life before her; it feels like we have known her forever — and we have a lifetime ahead. Continue reading “On Nine Months”


I’m a pumpaholic and I’m learning it doesn’t really gel well with being back at work. [insert sigh]

Allow me to explain …

You see, I had no dreams or visions of breastfeeding during my pregnancy. It was something I hoped to do if I could, but didn’t see myself doing it for more than six months. I knew that any milk I could give Maya was better than no milk and so I made it my mission to breast feed.

She had a great latch, so we never had issues with that … the problem has always been me and my supply. Continue reading “Pumpaholic”

I Cry Over Spilled Milk

I’m a breastfeeding mom who prefers pumping to nursing. Don’t get me wrong; I love it when Maya nurses …it’s a primitive and beautiful bonding experience and one that has definitely made me feel closer to her, especially when she’s staring up at me with those big baby blues.

I just don’t want to do it all day/every day. And in a couple weeks, I’ll be going back to work anyway.

Since I don’t make enough for her on my own, I’m still supplementing formula (probably 8-12 oz a day; in total, she’s taking in roughly 28-32 oz a day) so it’s not like she isn’t familiar with a bottle, and pumping has provided a great way for my husband (or eager family members/friends) with a way to feed her, too. Continue reading “I Cry Over Spilled Milk”

Call Me Bessie …

First of all, Happy New Year, everyone! I hope you had a wonderful time with your family and friends over the holiday and look forward to what 2011 has to offer. My mom, dad, brother and sister were here visiting us in Michigan and it was an amazing weekend–I was SO sad when they left!

But anyway, no time for shmoopiness. On to today’s post …

So … after five days of pumping, nursing for longer durations/more frequently and supplementing formula, Maya was up a whopping 9 ounces to 6 lbs 3 oz at her doctor’s appointment today, just one ounce shy of her birth weight!

To say we were elated would be a grand understatement.I felt like I had accomplished the goal myself, even though it was all Maya’s doing.

She’s eating like every two to two-and-a-half hours now — which is pretty exhausting — but it’s worth it to see her gaining on the scale! Most babies are back to their birth weights by two weeks, and so we are a little behind (she’s 16 days old today) but the nurse wasn’t too concerned so neither are we. She was very pleased with Maya’s big gain!

The downside of her weight gain — I honestly feel like Bessie the cow!

While I’m happy to be able to do it and think breast feeding is a beautiful thing — and feel it can be quite soothing/relaxing at times — I have to be honest; I don’t LOVE it. Continue reading “Call Me Bessie …”

… From 3-Hour Intervals to 2-Hour Intervals

Well, we had Maya’s weight check-in today and unfortunately, my little girl lost weight.

She was 6 lbs 4 oz at birth; 5 lbs 9 oz when we left the hospital; 5 lbs 12.5 oz last Thursday (YEA, adequate gain!) … and then 5 lbs 10 oz today (BOO, she lost and lost a lot).

Which means she is not getting enough from my breast milk alone. 😦

I realize this happens to a lot of women, but I hoped it wouldn’t happen to me. I hoped I’d be able to fully sustain her on my own … but it doesn’t look that way, at least not for now.

I’m not giving up … but it was definitely not the news I wanted to hear. It does explain, though, why she gets so fussy late at night and seems to go in for the kill at feeding times; little baby girl is HANGRY! Continue reading “… From 3-Hour Intervals to 2-Hour Intervals”