Fake it til you make it

Fake it til you make it.

It’s one of those quotes that’s equally infuriating and powerful at the same time. Infuriating because it’s so hard to act a certain way when you don’t feel a certain way. And it’s powerful because if you can override your feelings and put on an act, you can actually change how you think about a situation. And that is awesome.

Right now — no surprise — I’m feeling this way about body image. Having been at this goat rodeo twice now, three months post-partum seems to be when the “itch” really begins for me. The “itch” to get back into shape.

No doubt having a baby changes your figure–as it should! And after Maya, I still had time to dedicate to the gym, to making my health a priority. Withn four months I was back to my pre-pregnancy weight. But now with two kids and being back at work, I just haven’t quite found my groove with respect to food or fitness. Which means I’m carrying the last 7-10 baby weight pounds.

It’s not just the number on the scale that’s bugging me; that really matters far less to me than how my clothes fit (or don’t). And even more than the tag inside my jeans, I just want to feel a little more in control of my health. So that I’m here for the long haul. Continue reading “Fake it til you make it”

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Waiting (and Exhaling)

The past six months in particular — since our house went on the market in April and we moved to our new house in May — have been really challenging, made only more challenging by the fact that I have been pregnant this whole time and couldn’t help Luis with a lot of the burden: maintaining the physical and financial aspects of two homes (and dealing with problems at both), mowing the lawn/landscaping two homes, moving (out of the old and into the new), unpacking, fixing things … I did what I could to pitch in but realistically I ended up keeping an eye on Maya far more than making a dent in unpacking. Continue reading “Waiting (and Exhaling)”

Second Time Around

This pregnancy has been different from my pregnancy with Maya for a whole host of reasons.

1) Anxiety levels = DOWN. While I was an anxious mess all nine months of my pregnancy with Maya (with just cause), this go around, it’s not that I’m not anxious this time, but rather it isn’t consuming my thoughts. To put my mind at ease, I did do the prenatal testing I said I would, but I have a toddler demanding my time (rightfully so) and she is my top priority. In fact, unless I catch sight of my belly in a mirror or someone asks how I’m feeling, aside from the constant need to use the ladies room, it’s easy for me to forget I am six months pregnant. Last time I obsessed over each BabyCenter weekly update; this time I’ve only read a couple and don’t even know what size fruit/veggie Baby Boy is unless someone asks and I check TheBump.com (this week: cauliflower!). Continue reading “Second Time Around”

Bedtime Changes

Bed-time at Casa Henriquez has been pretty consistent from the start: bath, story/song (depending on the night), snuggles, bed.

Once Maya hit 18 months, we began adding a potty attempt before bath and, in the past few months, have added one more try before bed since she’s been doing pretty well during the day.

(Note: she’s still in diapers because of my own laziness/stress with the move and her transitioning to the preschool room, but she goes on the potty probably 4-6 times a day right now, including 2-3 times at school, if not more — so I know she is ready for the full commitment … just need to do it). Continue reading “Bedtime Changes”

Attached yet disconnected

Inside my body, my son (that’s the first time I’ve typed that out!) is attached to me via an umbilical cord — providing him nutrients and, essentially, life.

He kicks me constantly and makes his presence known throughout the day … but — and I’m sad/ashamed to say this — I feel entirely disconnected from him.

It’s not because I don’t love him already or want to feel connected. Not at all. After digging deep into my own thoughts, I’ve concluded the reason why is because he doesn’t yet have a name. Continue reading “Attached yet disconnected”

Weighty Matters

Confession time: I am human.

OK, I know you already know that, but hear me out. Because for all of the acceptance I’ve come to experience in terms of my own body confidence, I am pregnant and therefore, gaining weight. This is fine — it’s what should be happening, and what I am totally grateful for … believe me, I know how lucky I am to be in this position right now!

But I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t hard some days. See, it seems like everyone I know right now (in real life and the blogosphere) is on an intense weight-loss mission. Maybe it’s summer coming … who knows. They’re dieting and/or ramping up their exercise. They are doing awesome and I’m completely proud of their hard work and efforts — their commitment is infectious.

But while their resistance muscles are strong — and mine WAS strong at one point — it is now weak. I am pregnant, and I simply cannot jump on this bandwagon. Continue reading “Weighty Matters”