mommy, i’m still hungry

I’ve heard that expression about five times in the past five days — usually after dinner, right before bed. The first time it happened, I was caught off guard (this isn’t something Maya has ever said before, especially after a meal) — so I just offered her a banana and we went about our teeth-brushing/book-reading evening routine.

The next time it happened, I checked her daily report card from school, to see if maybe she hadn’t eaten well at school. (Though she’s always been a slooooooow eater, she’s always been a good eater, in that she’ll eat anything … just not necessarily very much). But sure enough, she’d eaten 100% of each meal and snack. And all her dinner plus dessert (which happened to be leftover ice cream cake from Ben’s birthday last week). And milk.

So I offered her one of two choices: a pre-bed cheese stick or pre-bed yogurt. She opted for the cheese stick, and that was that.

But the next morning, she told me her belly was “so so so hungry.” This could only mean one thing: growth spurt. And it’s about hot damn time. Continue reading “mommy, i’m still hungry”

little girl, big hurts

Found this post in my drafts from March 2014! Posting now because, well, I suck at creating compelling content lately and don’t want my blog to die a slow and painful death 😉 Have some other gems too — not sure why I hadn’t hit publish on all these!?! But here’s one for now — still relevant, now that Maya is nearing four.

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I’m one of those people who says I’m sorry when someone else bumps into me in the grocery store.  If I walk into someone’s office, I tend to apologize for “interrupting them,” even though I’ve asked if they have a few minutes ahead of time. And as a kid, I used to punish myself for the most minor of transgressions. Continue reading “little girl, big hurts”

mind shift: you are *not* a work in progress.

I saw this post, Your Body Is Not Your Masterpiece, floating around yesterday on Facebook, via HuffPo.

I had every intention of writing a post and then, well, life happened. It’s probably pretty obvious that I’ve been struggling to maintain my blog lately … and that kills me. I like to produce [what I deem to be] thoughtful content or just share anecdotes of what’s going on or a reaction to something relevant to my blog audience … but I’m just not doing it. I know I should make it a commitment, but right now I feel pulled in 10,000 directions and the most important two directions are not getting any younger; they’re growing up before my eyes. So … I find myself blogging less. Living more. Continue reading “mind shift: you are *not* a work in progress.”

progress …

Since recommitting to healthier eating and more exercise on March 31, my pants fit better, I feel stronger and leaner, and I’m down 6.6 pounds. On my frame, that’s pretty nice. Not noticeable to the eye or enough to drop a size, but still noteworthy.

As of my last weigh-in, I’m 0.4 lbs away from my pre-pregnancy weight … and that feels great. I gained 34 pounds this time vs. 25 last time. So nine months on; 6.5 months off (whereas last time, four months off). Continue reading “progress …”

dear time: please stand still …

An anxious person by nature, I’m always looking ahead: to the next phone meeting, the next project, the next phone call, the next workout, the next meal, the next event, the next trip, the next milestone … you name it and I’m already ten steps ahead.

It’s just the way my anxious brain works and, as I learned in my first therapy session six years ago (and contrary to popular belief), it’s not such a bad thing to have an anxious mind. The anxious mind can be an asset: yes, it means we’re always “on” … which can be a nuisance to those we are closest to … but it also means we’re usually going to achieve what we set out to do. We’re not likely to stray too far off course.

Because we’re hard-wired like that. Continue reading “dear time: please stand still …”

Nursing, round two

I’ve never judged mothers for their choice to breastfeed or not. It’s a personal decision — and one that isn’t always a “choice.” I’ve always felt like an outlier in the breastfeeding community because although I did a combo of nursing, pumping and supplementing formula, I was never in one “camp.” I just “was.” And for the nine months I nursed Maya, I didn’t really enjoy it (which I’m sure isn’t what some women want to hear, especially lactivists!).

I was stressed out because my supply wasn’t great.

I was a new mom who “thought” she needed to go/go/go 24/7, so the idea of sitting still for 20-30 minutes seemed like torture.

And I just didn’t love the act of breastfeeding. I knew it was good for her and that’s why I did it, but for the most part, aside from a few fleeting special moments with her, it wasn’t what I felt connected us — which was confirmed when I stopped nursing at nine months and our snuggle sessions at night were just as intimate — if not better — than they had been while nursing. Continue reading “Nursing, round two”

start, stop, start, stop

Nearly every night after the kids are in bed now I’ve attempted to open my laptop — the very same laptop I spend nine hours a day working on — and tried to hunker down and write: observations, summaries of cool stuff I have seen or read related to fitness, motherhood, pregnancy, body image ….anything to keep my blog a living, breathing ecosystem of sorts.

Every night I start blogging … and then I stop. Continue reading “start, stop, start, stop”