That One Thing

There are 365 days in a year, and today is only Day Seven–the sweet anticipation of being on the precipice of something exciting. Of a new year, a new month, a blank slate, a fresh start. A tabula rosa. 358 days to make something really awesome happen.

In many ways,  I feel like I’ve been very blessed in life and have accomplished many of my goals (both personally and professionally) — but there’s one thing I haven’t achieved that I’ve had my heart set on: getting a book deal.

For the past, oh, six years now, I’ve been saying my goal is to be a legit, published author with a book deal and an  agent — the real deal.

And I keep thinking about it … But that’s where my struggle lies.  Continue reading “That One Thing”

start, stop, start, stop

Nearly every night after the kids are in bed now I’ve attempted to open my laptop — the very same laptop I spend nine hours a day working on — and tried to hunker down and write: observations, summaries of cool stuff I have seen or read related to fitness, motherhood, pregnancy, body image ….anything to keep my blog a living, breathing ecosystem of sorts.

Every night I start blogging … and then I stop. Continue reading “start, stop, start, stop”

Saying “No” to Anderson …

Holy SMOKES.

Today, the most crazy thing happened: Anderson Cooper’s talent people found my blog and asked if I’d be interested in flying to NY to do a future segment on night-time eating disorders.

And I had to say no. Continue reading “Saying “No” to Anderson …”

Write What You Know

That’s what they always say, right? “Write what you know.”

Once again, I’m at a blogging identity crisis. And instead of finding my niche, I’ve been writing about everything and anything … I’m a jack of all trades and a master of none.

If I want to take my blog to the next level — a professional one — I’m going to need to really have a niche. And right now, I don’t. Well, that’s not exactly true. Continue reading “Write What You Know”

What’s My Boilerplate? My Elevator Speech?

In public relations (PR)– the field in which I work — a boilerplate is the standard paragraph of text found at the bottom of every news release that offers up key information about your company. You might consider it a long-winded version of an “elevator speech.”

While I have no trouble telling people about my job in ten words — “I’m the public relations manager at a top digital agency” — I found myself in a pickle this weekend at a PR conference with respect to my blog.

You see, when I began blogging, in spite of laying it all out there for anyone who could Google “disordered eater” (I ranked #1 and #2 for forever; my old blog domain is now #3) I was deeply ashamed of the topic. Continue reading “What’s My Boilerplate? My Elevator Speech?”

Open Letter to the Blogosphere: Blogger “Responsibility”

Note: this post has nothing to do with my blog or you, my readers … but is rather a reaction to an observation I made in the blogosphere.

This week, one of the most well-known female bloggers, Heather Armstrong of dooce.com fame, announced she and her husband Jon were in the midst of a trial separation.

I’d heard of her, but never really read her blog — until today. Her announcement post is absolutely gut-wrenching, to say the least — especially the part where she expresses a moment that suicide crossed her mind … and though doesn’t go into any details about why the couple is splitting, it’s obvious she is pained about the decision but knows it must be done. Continue reading “Open Letter to the Blogosphere: Blogger “Responsibility””

My Therapy

Though I was an early talker (are you surprised?!) and still love to talk, writing has always been the most therapeutic form of self-help for me.

I began journaling in fifth grade, chronicling nearly every day of my life — and I haven’t stopped since.

Traveling with me from my childhood bedroom in Vernon, NJ …  to my dorm room at American University in our nation’s capital … to my first apartment (and subsequent apartments!) … to my first home have been the two dozen or so spiral-bound notebooks filled to the brim with words and experiences, etched forever in varying handwriting styles and a wide array of ink colors.

I’ve been both lovingly teased for my “chronicles” and admired for my commitment to journaling … but I don’t do it for laughs or praises; I do it because it’s what works for me — and because I love the idea of a living, breathing biography … Continue reading “My Therapy”

When Friends Fail Us

When you begin blogging about something as taboo and uncomfortable as your disordered eating recovery journey, you discover one of three things about your readers.

1) They are people  who read for support, even though they have no food/exercise issues themselves and just maybe like you and/or your style/topics/voice.

2) They are people  who have secretly battled similar (albeit different) demons and find a resource like this blog useful/helpful/encouraging/inspirational.

3) They are people who can’t handle the truth and, upon discovering it, walk away.

While I don’t know most of my readers personally, I’m blessed and happy to say that 99.9 percent of the people I know and love in real life (blogger/WW friends are included here too!) have been in the first two categories. I appreciate them and their support more than they could know … and I’m eternally grateful for them because I couldn’t have done it without them.

But there is one friend who falls into the third category. Continue reading “When Friends Fail Us”

Authenticity in the Digital Space

Like most of us, I wear many hats: mom, wife, blogger, PR girl, social media fiend.

And since I work AND play in the digital space, it’s a tough balancing act sometimes.

The #1 rule in being a good communicator is to know your audience. But what if your audience is as varied and complex as you are? How can one be authentic if  you’re shying away from who you are in some circles? This, I’m learning, is one of the biggest challenges of being active in social media.

I’ve never hid my hats — as you know, I tend to be a “lay it all out there on the table” kind of girl.

But I do generally use discretion with what gets posted where. Continue reading “Authenticity in the Digital Space”

Major Ink –> Mixed Emotions

A loooong time ago I mentioned that a student pursuing her master’s in journalism at Columbia was interviewing me during my pregnancy for her graduate thesis. Every two weeks or so during my pregnancy we’d touch base just to see where I was at mentally and physically, and it was a great way to put into words some of what I was feeling.

She recently told me that the story was going to be published somewhere big … but didn’t say where.

Well … today I got an email and whoa nelly, there it is! ABCNews.com in the Health section: Pregorexia: When Pregnancy and Eating Disorders Mix.

Aside from the title, which I think is a bit misleading (and I know editors make those decisions, not the writers themselves — I wouldn’t describe myself as having battled pregorexia) … the article is totally accurate and true to form.

I did chew and spit and overexercise previously. I was afraid of getting fat during my pregnancy. I did emotionally eat during the testing. I never returned to chewing/spitting or overexercising as coping mechanisms; I put Maya first.

There’s nothing untrue there. It’s just hard to realize that, hey, that’s ME they’re talking about! Continue reading “Major Ink –> Mixed Emotions”