wake-up calls

So … in advance of the gluttony the holiday season presents us all …and to encourage me to nourish myself well …  I rejoined Weight  Watchers today.

While I have been journaling at MyFitnessPal the past 1,048 days, to be exact … I have gone over every.single.day. And my food choices have sucked. Pretty much it’s been SugarFest/EatMyFeelings 2015. And it has to stop. I can’t afford to gain another pound.

My jumpstart came from two places. First, I saw my good friend this week who had rejoined. (I had met her on the WW boards back in 2004 when I lived in DC and she lived in Chicago and she has become a fantastic friend over the years, especially now that geographically we are closer and get together whenever we can!).

She explained the ins and outs of the new program and all the changes to the program. Unlike the Flex system I began WW on — which I mastered and later learned how to “game” — this seemed like it  would be a genuine challenge. I couldn’t fake my way through this and actually would need to re-learn everything I knew. My interest was piqued, for sure, but I wasn’t ready to commit.

That was Monday.

It wasn’t til I stepped on the scale today that I texted her in desperation and pretty much immediately signed up for the 3-mth plan. I am up 10 pounds now from my pre-Ben weight … and while that may not seem like an enormous amount, it is … and it all occurred in the past year.

There’s no denying  the reasons why:  it’s been a hard emotional year for me, sure —  but the truth is I haven’t put myself first, haven’t been working out regularly since the summer, have been eating crappily and just not caring. I went from an over-exerciser/restricter mentality years ago to someone who just doesn’t GAF. And well, that just doesn’t fly, either.

Neither extreme is a healthy  approach, and so I decided to just take action now.

At first glance, the new program is hard. Not gonna lie. Things that cost 2 Points in 2004 are now 4. While fruits and veggies are free, it really does require me to think about every single thing I’m putting in my mouth. But for someone like me — a mindless muncher — this is key. I didn’t gain weight from healthy dinners with my family; I gained them from the bites here, the tastes there, the handfuls of candy at work, etc.  Even though I tracked it all for peace of mind, it was unhealthy.

I can already see the mind-shift / behavior switch working.  Since joining this morning:

  • I chose eggs for breakfast instead of the (easy) bowl of Cheerios I had been about to prepare: more protein, fewer Points, and I had the luxury of time today (i.e., wasn’t at work today).
  • At lunch I made frozen green beans  as an accompaniment to my sandwich instead of Baked Lay’s.
  • Tonight, I opened a bag of M&Ms for tomorrow’s Christmas Eve gathering at our house.  Typically I would have grabbed a handful, journaled it, and moved on. But now knowing that that little handful would be 4-5 Points … all of a sudden it just wasn’t worth it. I put them in the candy bowl and walked upstairs to wrap presents.
  • And today, for the first time in I cannot even tell you how long … I had nothing sweet except a banana with breakfast and a handful of pomegranate arils.

Of course this isn’t to say I will never eat something sweet or that every day will be as flawless or feel as “easy” as today. But small steps lead to big results; I know that from the first time I did this in my early 20s.

I just needed the wake-up call.

On a personal note, our 10-year wedding anniversary is 11/18/2016.  While Luis loves me at any size and would never say anything negative about my body, I’d love to be back at my wedding weight —  which means my goal is just under 20 lbs. It’s not my lowest weight, but it was a maintainable weight/size  and a goal I have for myself.

I realize 20 lbs sounds monumental … but  breaking it into palatable pieces  — i.e., into small, reasonable goals (1 lb a week) —  will make it bearable and — most importantly — will make it attainable.

For the first time in a long time, I believe in myself and believe I can do it.  I had said to a friend over  lunch a couple months ago that I was just at a place of not caring  … but today I began to genuinely care again.  It’s not  about how I  look as much as how I feel.   And right now, I feel inspired. Encouraged. Ready.

I feel my spark igniting again. Maybe it’s the dawn of a new year or this energy spurt from signing up for WW again … I don’t know. All I know is I’m ready for the ride.



2 thoughts on “wake-up calls

  1. I’ve heard so much about the new plan, and most everyone is saying the same thing – that it really makes you think. I can’t believe you’ve been journaling that long – that is dedication. I wish I had 1/10 of it! I’m trying to lose 70, I’m glad we can be focused together in 2016.

    1. Hey Mandy! Love seeing you here – -love when our “Core friends” post here or message me; always makes me smile 🙂 Ha … it’s kind of pathetic but it’s second nature to me. You can do it–and I’m here for you! 🙂 The new plan really is hard and it DOES make me think. Though I should note — today (as I did yesterday and the day before) I still “wasted” 10 of my 30 dailies on a 1/2 c of Moose Munch. Not exactly a smart decision any of those days, but I’ve been sick and nothing tastes good so … 😉

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