I’ve blogged ad nauseam about my anxiety issues over the years. It’s no surprise that, while I try — maybe too hard? — to live in the moment, my brain is still always thinking ten steps ahead. In some instances that can be a benefit. But in others, it isn’t so great.
Lately my anxiety has (stupidly) stemmed from Ben not walking. I know, I know … kids walk and talk and all that when they are ready. I know Maya didn’t walk til 13 months (where Ben is now). And I know all kids are different.
But I have been so focused on Ben not walking that I missed some other super-awesome things he can do now. In the past month or two, he waves bye whenever leaving the room (or if someone else does); climbs on furniture; can climb up stairs (and semi-scoots down with assistance); he throws balls with such dexterity that there’s no way he’s my kid; dances — like bops and shakes his head side to side; puts a “phone” to his ear and “talking” when he hears a phone ring on TV or at home; and he blows kisses — to name a few.
In other words — my anxiety about him “not walking yet” precluded me from seeing — truly seeing — all these adorable things he is doing.
He even follows some basic instructions now, too — handing me specific objects when I ask for them, putting a toy where I ask him to, bringing me his shoes when getting dressed, helping me get him dressed by raising his arms or stepping out of pants. These are all big deals in Babyville and … I’ve just kind of glossed over them as NBD because he isn’t walking yet. I’ve been (stupidly) fixated on this one thing and what irks me most is, I should know better. This isn’t my first time at the rodeo! I know better!! And I know not to compare him to other kids but … (there’s always that “but” isn’t there?!).
I’ve been rushing him — trying to encourage him to walk more and more … but the truth is, he hasn’t been crawling that long as it is, and he’ll do it when he’s good and ready … and probably not when I’m looking. I should know all this … yet my anxiety creeps in and I begin to worry and freak out and it’s useless. He is fine. He will be fine.
I share this today because, even as a second-time mom, I sometimes forget the lessons I learned the first time at the rodeo. And sometimes I just need to be reigned in. Having him lead me to the stairs to “practice” today was as good a wake-up call as any; his way of saying, “Hey Mommy, I might not be walking yet but look at what other skill I’m mastering. Go me!
At the end of the day, I have a happy and healthy baby who is growing and doing on his own accord — and until there’s a reason to worry … there’s no reason to worry.