ditch the judgment already!

Pregnant women gain weight. It’s a fact of life. And a pregnant woman working out (while gaining the requisite weight) deserves major props … not flaming.

My friend Candice shared this story with me today which made my blood boil. A pregnant fitness trainer (Sara Haley) was bullied at her gym … for having stretch marks.

This makes me so sad.


Sad and angry.

Instead of pettily body-snarking Sara, why weren’t these people high-fiving her, giving her props for being 35 weeks pregnant and still kicking ass at the gym? Why weren’t they congratulating her on trying to stay strong and fit throughout her pregnancy? For setting a good example for her clients and fellow gym-goers?

Why are they focused on her stretch marks?! Who does that?! I mean, do these morons criticizing her look like un-Photoshopped models themselves? Come on!

Fortunately she also had some cheerleaders along the way, and Sara seems to have a lot of confidence and faith in what she’s capable of … but her experience is uncalled for, and very unfortunate.

And it was the exact opposite of mine. I never felt stronger or more encouraged than I did during my pregnancies. The compliments on how my baby bump was growing and how “fit” and “toned” I looked pregnant egged me on, kept me going when I wanted to throw in the towel, and made me want to work out. I felt strong. Lean (as lean as a pregnant woman can feel!). Empowered. And yes, huge as a house. Because that’s what pregnancy does … makes you huge. It comes with the territory: the weight gain, the swollen legs and ankles, the disappearing waist-line, the new “fluff” around your hips, the stretch marks, the big breasts, the black line on your belly … it’s all part of the miracle of life. And if anyone thought I looked huge or had extra lumps, they sure as hell didn’t call me out for it — at least not to my face!

For some reason in today’s society, having a pregnant belly is the equivalent of having a stamp on your forehead that screams JUDGE ME.

Should she be working out so much? She should be working out.

She’s gained too much weight. She’s gained too little weight.

Is she really eating/drinking that? I never would have done that pregnant.

We just can’t win (and lord knows the judginess extends into motherhood, as well).

It saddens me because as women, and especially moms, we should be building one another up … not tearing each other down. Sara, I’ve got your back!

I will end with this awesome quote one of my fave bloggers (Carla) posted on Facebook today.







3 thoughts on “ditch the judgment already!

  1. Maybe it’s just me…but this almost screams “publicity stunt.” If she or her PR people reported this to the news herself, which it seems like she did (neither of the articles make that clear, unless I’m missing something?) that makes me pretty skeptical – only because it’s almost impossible for me to imagine anyone doing this in this day and age. Then again, I don’t live in Southern California!

    1. Oops, sorry, I didn’t intend that to sound negative. I’m just saying that I literally can’t imagine anyone “bullying” a pregnant woman for exercising (making comments out of genuine concern, yes, but although that may be ignorant I don’t consider it bullying). Even if it is a publicity stunt, I guess it’s not a bad one since it brings attention to pregnant women and fitness, but it just seems very convenient — that is exactly what a well-known pregnant trainer would be trying to do! 🙂

  2. 😦 Ha, I dunno … I think it’s very possible. There are some mean girls out there … and while she “wasn’t available for comment,” my hunch is that this really did happen to her. Doesn’t seem she’d gain anything from it being a PR stunt … but I guess you’re right, you never know!!

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