Oversharing vs. Posing a Question

I want to preface this post by saying I thought twice about even writing it after reading this article a colleague shared on Facebook called “Mommy Bloggers and Daddy Facebookers,” which basically argues that we parents who share details about our kids’ lives online are going to get major backlash when our kids grow up.

While I don’t agree with a lot of what the author argues (I don’t post pics for “likes”) I do think there’s merit to thinking twice and not sharing every little detail … yet when your blog is your virtual baby book and you have family and friends reading …  how do you know when to not share?

I think it’s a matter of personal discretion. For example, I blogged about my C-section, but never showed graphic photos of Maya’s birth. I blogged about breastfeeding and pumping, but though I have pics, I never shared them here. And while I have recently blogged about potty-training, I’m not sharing photos of Maya on the potty — not here or anywhere else. Some things really are sacred. But here’s the thing: I think each person’s idea of “sacred” is subjective.

While someday Maya will Google herself and maybe find my posts where she took her first steps or said “Mama” … I don’t want her to ever be embarrassed about what she reads because –to the author’s point–these kids have no say in what their parents are sharing.

That said, I’m still a first-time mom and have questions. And as I am of the belief that it takes a village to raise a child, I’m all for group-think when it comes to parental problem-solving. I pose questions to my mom, friends, and here on my blog because I want to know what works for others and then I cull the responses together to determine my course of action, knowing that what works for you might not work for me.

Which brings me to today’s topic. Since we were home-bound all last week dealing with the chicken pox, I decided to do a potty-training boot-camp of my own with Maya. For months now she’s been going several times a day (at school or home) on the potty, but with the move, I didn’t want to push her out of diapers before she was ready. Lately, thanks to her big sister books, we’ve been talking about how big girls wear underwear  and babies wear diapers and if there’s anything this kid is, it’s hell-bent. Once she decides to do something, she just goes it. (I’m kvelling!) So I figured, let’s try — at least for non-sleeping times.

I used a sticker rewards chart and it seemed to work like a charm. She was SO proud of herself each time she earned a sticker and we gave her lots of love and hugs and support, which also seems to help.

The first day she had three accidents in a row early on, and I was about to throw the towel in but then I realized what was happening — she was still going on the potty, but having a little piddle incident beforehand: probably couldn’t “hold” it. For nap, I used a diaper (and will continue to do so til she is dry at nap — hasn’t happened yet). And then she “got it” … by the afternoon of that first day, she was telling me when she had to go and was dry til bed-time.

The second day she stayed dry til right before bed, when I didn’t get her to the potty fast enough — she had said she had to go but I was doing something for work and, well, it was my fault.

The third day, she was completely and totally dry. Same as the fourth. Then today — day five — we had our first adventure outside of the house wearing underwear.I prepped her by having her go before we left and telling her I was carrying her potty seat so if she needed to go, to please tell me — even in the store.

Well, we’d been out and about for more than an hour and a half and so I asked her if she had to go. She said yes, so I brought her with me to the family restroom at Sam’s Club. I thought by her seeing me use the bathroom, she’d be inclined to go. But even with watching me, even with having her seat, she flat-out refused. We had to go home anyway so I asked her to try at home. But she was too focused on her ice cream (and probably over-tired) … and had an accident (and got really upset).

So here’s my question to parents: what are some tips for getting your potty-training kid to use the bathroom when not at home/school/in a comfortable environment? How do you make them feel comfortable?

I thought bringing her seat would help …. but tonight, at least, it didn’t.

Of course, I know this was only our first adventure out sans diaper and it’s probably be too soon to say “it didn’t work” … but I’d welcome any ideas of what worked for you and your family. The sooner we can get her comfortable in restrooms outside of the house/school, the better. Because at this point, we’re going full-steam ahead. Baby #2 is due in October and this gives us a couple months to really get this down (at least day-time; I’m less concerned about night for now–she hasn’t exhibited that physical readiness yet).

Anyway, I welcome any advice!

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5 thoughts on “Oversharing vs. Posing a Question

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