Confession time: I am human.
OK, I know you already know that, but hear me out. Because for all of the acceptance I’ve come to experience in terms of my own body confidence, I am pregnant and therefore, gaining weight. This is fine — it’s what should be happening, and what I am totally grateful for … believe me, I know how lucky I am to be in this position right now!
But I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t hard some days. See, it seems like everyone I know right now (in real life and the blogosphere) is on an intense weight-loss mission. Maybe it’s summer coming … who knows. They’re dieting and/or ramping up their exercise. They are doing awesome and I’m completely proud of their hard work and efforts — their commitment is infectious.
But while their resistance muscles are strong — and mine WAS strong at one point — it is now weak. I am pregnant, and I simply cannot jump on this bandwagon.
Not because I don’t believe in working out and eating well during pregnancy. I do; I am! It’s just that I’m not in a position right now to be in weight-loss mode. Which, again, is fine. I am actually OK with seeing the scale go up and watching my belly curve out just a smidge more each week. I don’t mind that; I actually love it. My body is doing what it should be doing right now and it’s exciting.
Yet for some reason, hearing/reading the diet/fitness talk is tough to swallow some days. Not every day, just some days. And it’s not that I’m not happy for them — I am! But as someone with a past of food and body image issues, I can see how being around too much weight-loss talk could be a trigger. Fortunately, I know it won’t because I am strong and won’t fall victim to triggers … but I’m not going to say the potential isn’t there.
The difference is that now I know how to cope with it: by addressing the envious feelings and then validating them as real — but also irrational (hello, I am pregnant!).
What I won’t do: isolate myself from conversations about food and fitness, because 1) it’s something I believe in/enjoy talking about otherwise and 2) isolating myself solves nothing.
That being said, I am proud of myself for realizing that these conversations can be a source of anxiety … and that I shouldn’t take them personally. Over these next five months, I’ll be a bystander; a cheerleader. I can’t play the game, but I can root for my friends’ successes the way I know they’d do for me.
Sure, I’d be lying if I didn’t say it’s hard some days to be around food/exercise talk. But what I need to keep in check is this: it’s my cross to bear, and no one else’s.
How about you? Is it hard for you to be around food/fitness talk when you are the one who isn’t in a dieting/weight loss mindset?
2 thoughts on “Weighty Matters”
My last pregnancy was so hard on me that I had to stop working out only 4 weeks after I got knocked up. BUT! I was in such good shape before the pregnancy, that my fitness bounced back like a kangaroo on steroids. Ya feeling me? Your mission right now is to bake that baby and enjoy being the master baker. Enjoy the ride and don’t sweat it. xoxoxo
Oh wow! That is so good to know, Josie! I’m still working out 6 days a week but just not going crazy if I need to miss. You’re totally right: my #1 priority is baking this baby 🙂