To Be a Mother

I remember, before I was pregnant, thinking about being a mom and how cool it would be — someday.

Then I got married and, four years later, was pregnant with Maya. Whenever I’d marvel at how amazing pregnancy was and how connected I felt to her, mothers (including my own) would say, “Just you wait … it only gets better and more amazing,” with this knowing glimmer in their eye.

It’s a look you can’t truly understand until you are a mom … until that child is placed in your arms. THAT’s when you become a mom. It doesn’t matter how the child came to be … through marriage, with help of a team of doctors, through adoption or fostering … the moment he or she is put in your arms, you are a mother.Now I’m a mom and it’s SO hard not to want to shout from the mountain tops just how right they all were … it truly is the most amazing feeling in the world. I love being a mom, and love this journey. It’s not easy and I know I will make mistakes along the way — I have already, I’m sure. But it is the most rewarding experience of my life and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Today I wasn’t able to be with my own mom — my family is in N.J. — but Luis, Maya and even Rocco made the day so very special for me. I got spoiled rotten — a beautiful sapphire blue top, sweet workout pants for Zumba, and roses from Luis; the Vera Bradley hipster bag I’d been lusting after from Maya; and a gift card to my favorite coffee shop from Rocco.

We went to brunch at a place where we’re regulars … there’s something special about that (we’d been going since it opened in the spring of 2010, when I was newly pregnant). Then we hit the outlets in Michigan City for some retail therapy and fresh air, had dinner at an Italian place I love in St. Joe’s (an adorable lake-front city in Michigan that I used to frequent with my mom when she was working in Indiana last spring), took pics near a bluff overlooking the lake, and got ice cream before heading home. It was beautiful and chilly and sunny and I couldn’t have been happier.

The thing was, of all the presents and fun things we did today, the most meaningful and valuable was TIME. Time together as a family. Because I’ve been working on my phone/photo habits, I don’t have a ton of pics from today — but we had an awesome time and I felt the love, for sure.

Love which continued through bed-time, when Little Miss — who had fallen asleep in the car — woke up crying (I think she’s still all thrown off from having been sick and now feeling better and some teeth appear to be coming in).  I know I should just let her cry it out but it happens so rarely that lately when it does happen, I selfishly use it as snuggle time with her.

Anyway, I starting rocking her back to sleep and thought she was nearly out and went to nuzzle her nose, Eskimo-kiss style, goodnight. Well, she was not asleep and her eyes flew open and she started laughing, which, naturally, made ME laugh.

Eventually, she fell asleep and this mama felt like all was right in the world.

 

 

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