Today’s post by Kate about going “unplugged” and not feeling like blogging much lately really hit home, as I, too, have been struggling with an overall feeling of just wanting to live vs. document what I’m living, so to speak.
Her post also reminded me of the message from this image (above). You’ve probably seen it floating around the interwebs, so forgive me for inundating you with it yet again — but I just love it and think it’s worth repeating.
While I feel very fulfilled and have loved my decade-long career in public relations, in my dream world, I’d be a full-time writer.
I know what you’re thinking: but Melissa, you DO write! Well, sure I do. I blog (albeit not much lately).
The thing is, I haven’t monetized it — and have no intentions to do so. This blog has been a passion project for me — not something from which I ever expected to gain income.
What I’d really love is to write for a women’s lifestyle magazine — that’d be my dream come true. A monthly column where I could pick the topic … a la Valerie Frankel over at Self, for example.
Here’s the problem: in order to establish myself as a writer, I’d need the time to dedicate to building a portfolio of writing samples … and I can barely find time to blog!
I’ve also always said I wanted to write a book … same problem. I’d need time to devote to my craft.
Realistically, neither a book nor a portfolio can happen at the moment … and this is where I’m feeling torn. I love my job and company. And for as much as I miss Maya when I’m away, I can’t imagine NOT working, either. It’s part of (read as: “not all of”) who I am.
(Though I still struggle from time to time with my decision to return to work after Maya was born, I do believe it was the right choice for me).
So therefore, to make my dream a reality, I’d need to somehow fabricate more hours in the day.
Which is impossible.
On the bright side, there are a lot of unknowns out there. For example, we don’t know what the future will hold once my husband finishes his MBA in December. Will we stay here in MI, relocate back east, somewhere else? And if we do, will I stay working with my company? (if they so graciously allow, I surely would!) Or, if that doesn’t work, would I take the leap of faith and not look for a new job in whatever city and instead, devote myself to a writing career? Could I?
I don’t know what is going to happen. So in the interim, I’ve decided that I can’t wave a magic wand and make hours appear on the clock — but I can make small goals of writing a few nights a week (i.e., after Maya goes to sleep on the nights Luis is at school). And that’s exactly what I plan to do.
If nothing else, it’ll give me the opportunity to develop my portfolio sooner rather than later — and put me one step closer to truly living out my dream.
How about you? Are you following your passion? Do you think a career switch would make you feel more fulfilled?