As I shared in this post last September, I definitely experienced “pregnesia” or “pregnant brain” while pregnant — and was always told, “Just wait, it gets worse!”
Being the type of person I am — one who thrives on her impeccable memory of the minute details from a Tuesday in August fifteen years ago where so-and-so told me this-or-that — it’s quite surprising to me that mommybrain has taken hold on me the way it has.
Seriously. I’m a mess.
I can remember long-term things, no problem … but in the shower, I’ll often re-conditioner my hair ‘just in case’ I hadn’t already. At work, I’ll get distracts and type the same email twice — forcing me to check my ‘sent’ box before I click ‘send’ for, you know, the second time. I’ll put a document aside and then “lose it” … only to find it exactly where I left it two minutes prior. I’ll make breakfast before work … and leave it on the counter. I’ll pay a bill, and then go to re-pay it (I think that is how I ended up paying my student loan — inadvertently–four months worth of payments at once). I’ll hang up the phone and not be able to remember with whom I was just speaking. No joke.
It’s like I’m doing double-duty and getting half the results … and it’s driving me mad. I can’t keep myself together at home or at work, and it has to stop.
My most recent bout was this past Thursday. I was planning a pretty important work event in Chicago and when I got to the hotel I pulled my little Honda Civic up to the valet. Well, as I was at the check-in counter, the valet came running up. “Miss, your keys?!” Sure enough, the all-important keys to PARK said Civic were in my hand.
Yes, I’ve become THAT scatterbrained.
And I’m not alone. Many of my new mom (and old mom!) friends say their brains turned to mush when they had children. It’s like our minds — which already went a mile a minute pre-children — are now going two miles a minute. We are thinking for ourselves, our children, our families, our pets, our jobs, you name it and it’s on our minds.
I write notes, journal, play lots of Words with Friends 🙂 — everything I can to keep my brain functioning at its peak … and yet I’m still a hot mess when it comes to my memory.
Naturally, my husband –who is very much a hands-on parent — remains completely unscathed. Why is that, that men don’t seem to experience this memory lapse when they become fathers? Someone please explain this for me. Is it because we, inevitably, are the primary caretakers? Does it matter if it’s a single dad? Or what about a home with two dads? I’d love to see some study on this to see why it seems it’s just women afflicted — or maybe not?
Bottom line is, with my brain in such disarray, I don’t feel like I am myself … and I miss the “me” that, well, had it together (or at least thought I did!)
How about you? Did you/do you suffer from mommybrain and what are some tips you have for managing it? Please–welcoming any and all tips!
8 thoughts on “mommybrain”
My theory on why my husband at least doesn’t suffer from this is because he doesn’t spend every waking moment planning some part of Nate’s life. In nearly any given 5 minute span of my waking day, I’m thinking *something* about Nate, whether it’s about his diet, his sleep, his bathing, his exercise, his wardrobe, his daycare… I’m always assessing what’s going on and planning ahead.
That said, it’s gotten better in the past few months. I’m still not who I was at work, completely, but I no longer do the stuff like you list above. I think it takes some time to find your groove more completely.
That is a very good point, Candice. Our brains ARE wired differently for sure. I hope it is just a matter of time.
I agree with Candice – it gets better! Are you getting enough sleep? That made a huge difference for me. I hope others post with their ideas, I’d love to hear them!!
I am probably not getting enough, Yas … that might help!
Well, I think mine has gotten WORSE. 🙂
My house is like a black hole. At least once a day I lose my keys, phone, wallet or something else really important. About a month ago I left the burner on after cooking grilled cheese – thank GOD our babysitter came over and noticed a funny smell in the kitchen (we have a gas stove).
I’ve currently forgotten my long-time debit card PIN and can only use it as a credit card, but don’t have time to go to the bank to change it.
Oddly enough, I’m fine at work. I keep everything scheduled meticulously on my iPad, so I very rarely miss meetings or deadlines. If my work brain ever turned into my home brain, I wouldn’t have my job for very long!
LOL YES–black hole! I went back in the house today to add a camisole under my dress and couldn’t find my keys — ended up bringing the spare but with my luck, I’ll lose both!!! I really can’t wait to see I Don’t Know How She Does It — loved the book (though it was sad) because I feel like the protagonist in so many ways. At work I can be good, home I can be good, but being good at both places isn’t so easy!
I loved the book, too. It is pretty much MY LIFE in so many ways. In addition to being the breadwinner I’m also the taskmaster, the maid, the lunch packer, the present-buyer, oh, and the person who buys potluck food and transfers it into dishes that make it look homemade (yes, I have actually done this before)
Sometimes *I* don’t know how I do it!
Yes, isn’t it amazing how we can do so much for our families?!