Everyone says not to compare your child to other kids; all kids develop differently physically and intellectually and emotionally.
Yadda, yadda, yadda.
Rationally, I know this. But putting it into practice isn’t so easy.
Maya turns six months old on Saturday… and for as much as I don’t want to compare her to other babies, it’s really really really hard not to. The comparisons — however blatant or subtle–are everywhere.
Every week, The Bump and BabyCenter send me weekly milestones … while they’re intended to be guidelines and nothing more, it’s hard NOT to get caught up in what milestones she is/isn’t hitting.
Next, I have several friends with babies and/or babies around the same age. While there’s no competition among any of us at all, it’s hard to have a conversation without the topic turning to what our little ones are/aren’t doing yet.
And finally, I read tons of parenting books and magazines with a bounty of information on milestones.
I try to use all this information and input as a gauge and nothing more … but if I’m being completely honest with myself, I get a little anxious when I don’t see Maya hitting certain age-appropriate milestones … even if she’s hitting others (and then some).
For example, she is rolling from side to side but the number of times she’s fully rolled over, we can count on one hand. Yet she has been going from an (assisted) sitting position to a standing position for about three months now. She can sit unassisted for about 10 seconds and is reaching for toys from a sitting position now. She grabs, pulls, and drops now … and she’s super-smiley and giggly; very affectionate. She’s interested in the world around her and pays close attention when we’re eating, getting dressed, doing dishes, etc. And she talks UP A STORM.
All of these are good things; I know. It’s so hard, though, not to get caught up in the little things — like the facts that she’s still pretty small, has no teeth yet, and is just now sprouting some peach fuzz. All in all, she’s doing amazingly well and developing beautifully. I need to remember that.
This is one of those instances where I’m going to need to let go and just let it be … it’s just SO HARD!! Especially when the messages are everywhere.
As long as she’s happy and healthy, that’s all that should matter.
How about you? How do you stop the comparisons? Does it EVER stop? Or do you use milestones as just a gauge and nothing more?