The fact that we’re born with zero capabilities needing every single need met by another and, in time, learn and grow … it’s just baffling. A complete mind-!#@!#.
The first big milestone was smiling at six weeks … cooing … lifting her neck from a laying down position … tracking (i.e., deliberately following with her eyes) …but she was still pretty much just lounging a lot.
Well, she’s been a woman on the move ever since!
Kicking and waving her arms like crazy, pushing off on her legs when we stand her up (she’s totally going to be a soccer player/ballerina ;)) smiling huge grins, turning to our voices, recognizing my husband and I when we come and go, “talking” to us (and we talk back), deliberately sucking her fingers (and putting her fist in her mouth, as in this pic), batting at her toys, starting to touch things, putting her infamous giraffe pacifier (and blankets, her shirt, etc.) into her mouth (i.e., learning cause and effect)… it’s seriously mind-blowing.
Maya has to learn EVERYTHING. Literally. Can you imagine not knowing how to communicate? Or how to wipe away a tear? I’m not even talking about the big things yet … like tying shoes or eating with a spoon or fork. I’m talking about the more basic things.
She gets frustrated, for example, when she’s on her tummy and can’t move her head all the way up yet — and we can see she puts a ton of effort into keeping her head upright when sitting up (propped by us, of course). She’s one determined little three-month old (OK, they all are, I’m sure, but I’m only watching mine grow up!)
I bring this up because today Maya began what we’re calling “baby school” — i.e., daycare.
Working from home Friday, I witnessed–out of the corner of my eye–Maya bat one of the toys on her bouncy seat for the very first time. I tried not to make a big deal of it to see if she’d keep going, and then lowered the laptop screen just enough so I could capture her in action on video. (How I love you, iPhone 4! You suck with respect to service, but you’re genius for chronicling my baby’s life!) She played for a while before tiring, and then moved on to something else.
The point is, I was able to witness this milestone … but I’m going to miss a lot going forward.
Sure, I’ll see her roll over and crawl and take her first steps and speak her first real words … but I have had to realize that I just might not be the very first person to see it if it happens at baby school. In many ways, putting Maya in baby school is, for me (a control freak!) a form of relinquishing control. And it isn’t easy.
I am fully accepting of the fact that perfection is unattainable and I’m not seeking it–I promise! But I very much like knowing the whos and whats and whens and wheres of life, and right now, all I can do is roll with the punches and make the most of the time we have together.
Just as Maya is learning everything new, I, too, have had to learn a “new normal” — one where I am not able to be 100% in control of everything. Fortunately, baby school gives us a detailed summary every day and there is a webcam we can watch, but this is a huge step in personal growth I think.
As much as I want to control every situation I’m in … I simply can’t. I need to put faith in others … and trust she will be just fine.
How about you? Was there a recent example in your life where you had to let go and put your faith in someone else for something, big or small?