Have a Little Faith

Motherhood is nothing short of amazing. Every day, literally, Maya is doing something new.

The fact that we’re born with zero capabilities needing every single need met by another and, in time, learn and grow … it’s just baffling. A complete mind-!#@!#.

The first big milestone was smiling at six weeks … cooing … lifting her neck from a laying down position … tracking (i.e., deliberately following with her eyes) …but she was still pretty much just lounging a lot.

Well, she’s been a woman on the move ever since!

Kicking and waving her arms like crazy, pushing off on her legs when we stand her up (she’s totally going to be a soccer player/ballerina ;)) smiling huge grins, turning to our voices, recognizing my husband and I when we come and go, “talking” to us (and we talk back), deliberately sucking her fingers (and putting her fist in her mouth, as in this pic), batting at her toys, starting to touch things, putting her infamous giraffe pacifier (and blankets, her shirt, etc.) into her mouth (i.e., learning cause and effect)… it’s seriously mind-blowing.

Maya has to learn EVERYTHING. Literally. Can you imagine not knowing how to communicate? Or how to wipe away a tear? I’m not even talking about the big things yet … like tying shoes or eating with a spoon or fork. I’m talking about the more basic things.

She gets frustrated, for example, when she’s on her tummy and can’t move her head all the way up yet — and we can see she puts a ton of effort into keeping her head upright when sitting up (propped by us, of course). She’s one determined little three-month old (OK, they all are, I’m sure, but I’m only watching mine grow up!)

I bring this up because today Maya began what we’re calling “baby school” — i.e., daycare.

Working from home Friday, I witnessed–out of the corner of my eye–Maya bat one of the toys on her bouncy seat for the very first time. I tried not to make a big deal of it to see if she’d keep going, and then lowered the laptop screen just enough so I could capture her in action on video. (How I love you, iPhone 4! You suck with respect to service, but you’re genius for chronicling my baby’s life!) She played for a while before tiring, and then moved on to something else.

The point is, I was able to witness this milestone … but I’m going to miss a lot going forward.

Sure, I’ll see her roll over and crawl and take her first steps and speak her first real words … but I have had to realize that I just might not be the very first person to see it if it happens at baby school. In many ways, putting Maya in baby school is, for me (a control freak!) a form of relinquishing control. And it isn’t easy.

I am fully accepting of the fact that perfection is unattainable and I’m not seeking it–I promise! But I very much like knowing the whos and whats and whens and wheres of life, and right now, all I can do is roll with the punches and make the most of the time we have together.

Just as Maya is learning everything new, I, too, have had to learn a “new normal” — one where I am not able to be 100% in control of everything. Fortunately, baby school gives us a detailed summary every day and there is a webcam we can watch, but this is a huge step in personal growth I think.

As much as I want to control every situation I’m in … I simply can’t. I need to put faith in others … and trust she will be just fine.

How about you? Was there a recent example in your life where you had to let go and put your faith in someone else for something, big or small?

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2 thoughts on “Have a Little Faith

  1. Go, Maya! I can tell she’s advanced already. 🙂

    I have to be honest, I almost wish your daycare didn’t have a webcam. There are certain things that CJ may or may not have done at daycare but because they let me see them at home I’ll never be the wiser. And, that was okay. I did see all of the important things and if that was after his teachers at First Care already saw them, it doesn’t matter. It was the first time for me. 🙂

    You’re a great mama. Maya is lucky to have you!

    1. Ha! I doubt she’s “advanced” but she’s definitely on track doing what she should be doing. Now if only she’d make attempts to roll over! Then again, maybe I should savor this “immobile” time 🙂

      I’m not going to be glued to the camera or anything — since I can’t really go visit at lunch, it might be a nice way to see her on occasion. It’s not like they record my kid specifically; it’s just a view of the room. So I don’t feel like it will be a hindrance. And remember too, my family all lives far away so this is a way for them to watch her in action. I just like knowing if I’m feeling sad and want to see her during the day for a minute, I could. It doesn’t mean I always will. Plus, I don’t have log-in credentials yet! 😉

      Aw thanks!

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