BLT Queen

No, not, not of the bacon-lettuce-tomato variety, but rather the “Bite-Licks-Taste” variety.

If I didn’t partake in BLTs throughout the day — all of which are, indeed, journaled but, indeed, VERY unnecessary … — I’d probably be well below my pre-pregnancy weight and closer to my comfortable weight/size!!

I am, 100 percent, a self-saboteur.

These mindless bites — always of impulse buys — are truly the only disordered behavior I still haven’t been able to truly scrap. I was better off in my strict ways way back when in the sense that I would avoid those foods at all costs. What changed?!

The thing is, it’s always the same situation: I want a bite of something–not the whole thing–and so I end up tossing it … wasting money and wasting a potential experience. And it’s not that I do this in solitude; I’ve definitely done it in front of others.

The irony is, from therapy, I KNOW what to do … think, evaluate, behave… but I choose not to time and time again. I go for the instant gratification. And it’s not helping me any–mentally or physically. Choosing pride over guilt worked so well with overcoming my chewing and spitting behaviors (I’m “sober” two years this month!) but hasn’t helped any with respect to BLTs and mindless munching.

The solution is simple: STOP BUYING SAID TRIGGERS. It seems so obvious! Yet my brain and stomach seem unable to come to terms with this concept.

I guess in the interim, I could try harder with “Choose Pride Over Guilt,” but man, it isn’t easy!

I think I need to tackle this the only way I know how: one day at a time. I’ll keep you posted!

How about you? Are you a BLT queen? Any advice on how to stop, aside from the obvious?


5 thoughts on “BLT Queen

  1. I, like my mom always nibble on things when I cooking the next meal. I know that you might think it is disordered eating, but I dont think that take a nibble of something you enjoy is going to “kill” you. I know that I enjoy eating a handful or two of cereal when making breakfast, eating some crackers while making dinner, or have an extra spoonful or two of ice cream while scooping it out of the container. I will no longer have a relationship with food where I am not able to nibble and taste things! 🙂

    1. Lindsay, I think it is disordered because of HOW I do it … it’s not just the typical bites we all take … it’s done in a manner I can’t explain super-easily, but trust me, it’s not normal. It’s done anxiously every time with me.

      Good for you though — I admire you!

  2. I’m a fairly new reader but I love your blog! You motivate me to eat right and not swallow my emotions. Just so you know, I nominated you for stylish blogger award! Hopefully you’ll fill it out so readers can learn more about you!

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