I’m a breastfeeding mom who prefers pumping to nursing. Don’t get me wrong; I love it when Maya nurses …it’s a primitive and beautiful bonding experience and one that has definitely made me feel closer to her, especially when she’s staring up at me with those big baby blues.
I just don’t want to do it all day/every day. And in a couple weeks, I’ll be going back to work anyway.
Since I don’t make enough for her on my own, I’m still supplementing formula (probably 8-12 oz a day; in total, she’s taking in roughly 28-32 oz a day) so it’s not like she isn’t familiar with a bottle, and pumping has provided a great way for my husband (or eager family members/friends) with a way to feed her, too.
My problem is that, in addition to having raging mommy brain, I’m still a pretty clumsy and careless person. Not intentionally, of course … but careless enough that I break things, drop things, lose things with great frequency.
Which brings me to my milk … my precious, precious milk.
I have the Medela Pump-in-Style Advanced pumping kit and I love it … it’s portable, electric, and easy to use. But I don’t make a 4-5 oz bottle for Maya in one shot (unless it’s early morning).
So after a feeding, I get a-pumpin’. The challenge: it takes me 2, sometimes 3 sessions over the duration of 3-4 hours to make that much milk for her (increasing!) needs. Since breast milk is OK at room temperature 4-6 hours, I’ve found what works easiest (to avoid a ton of bottles) is to just leave what I’ve pumped in the pump’s (attached) bottles. I try to remember to tuck the bottles into the pump bag where they won’t tip over, but I often forget and, I said before, I’m clumsy.
And so this morning, after a decent pumping session, I found myself near-tears when I had tripped over the pump bag and lost about an ounce and a half of milk. It might not sound like a lot to someone else, but to me, that’s precious stuff!
And it isn’t the first time it’s happened. I’ve lost nearly full bottles of milk before … simply because I’m too quick on my feet to realize “Hey, that’s your pump bag and milk, don’t knock it over.”
So yes, I cry over my spilled milk.
I realize the solution to this problem would be just immediately bottle my milk and screw the cap instead of leaving it attached to the pump but I’ve just been too lazy to do it. After this morning’s debacle, however, I’m beginning to think that might be the only feasible solution!
Anyway, just wanted to share. Mommy brain is quite real and being already a clumsy/careless person … I need to be paying extra attention to my actions.
*This blog post brought to you while pumping … how’s that for multi-tasking?! 🙂 This time, I’ll remember to bottle and seal what I’ve made …!
3 thoughts on “I Cry Over Spilled Milk”
I probably would cry too. Wish I could offer some advice, but I don’t have any babies. I just wanted to tell you how beautiful you and Maya are. You are a wonderful Mom!
OMG, I’d do the same thing! It sounds like you are still doing great with the nursing/pumping though.
My co-worker cried over spilled milk too. Especially when her supply started to decrease on her. I don’t think you are alone at all!