This weekend I drove to meet up with a dear friend (who just had her first baby in August!) to go outlet shopping. She lives in Chicago and I’m in southwest Michigan, so since the outlets in Michigan City, Indiana, are half-way for each of us, that’s where we usually meet up for a day of shopping, eating, and gabbing.
I knew this was going to be my last long car trip for a while — and probably the last solo trip for a REALLY long time — and so I kind of let my mind wander as the scenery on I-94 flew by. All of a sudden, I was overcome by this intense sensation that just overtook my whole body. It was this fierce, protective feeling … and the thought swimming in my head was “I would do absolutely anything for you.”
I found myself rubbing my belly as I said it, and couldn’t shake the feeling: it was one of those sensations I didn’t want to lose.
I always have said, “…When I become a mom,” and meant it in the literal sense of a baby in my arms that I have helped create; that THAT’S when I’d be a mom.
But I think at this stage of my pregnancy, I feel like a mom already (and I’m sure will feel a heightened sense of that once she’s actually here). I’m taking special care with what I eat, activities I do … I’m getting all the testing my doctors are requiring (which is stressful), making sure I get enough sleep … basically, I’m doing everything I can right now … for her.
For someone like me who has always been a bit, shall we say, self-centered to an extent … putting someone else first has been a surreal and exciting experience — and also a growing one. I used to always refer to my husband as the selfless one between us … but now I’m beginning to see some of that in myself, too.
And I like it. It only took 31 years to feel this way, but better late than never!
I have so very much to be thankful for right now in my life, and I know that there is going to be much more to be thankful for in the future. But right now, in addition to the usuals I’m thankful for (husband, family, friends, health, good job, etc.) I’m most thankful to be carrying this bundle of joy in my belly I already love so much … and hoping she stays put until the 39th or 40th week!! (I’m 36 weeks now).
How about you? What are you thankful for this year?
Let There Be Light 
I have to say, I like the forced selflessness a bit myself – although it’s different when you and your little one become two separate beings. It’s different to eat well and take care of yourself when you’re nourishing him/her than it is to feed/care for them later and not have 3 minutes to shove some food in your own face. I found it to be a jarring transition. (Of course that only lasted a few months – we’ve both adjusted now.)
I had a funny moment today where I got an email about a special holiday sale at The Gap and I thought, “Oooh!” and immediately clicked on “baby boy” clothes – didn’t even think of looking for myself. I laughed to myself b/c it was one of those little things that really says a lot.
I’m thankful that you’re enjoying this whole process and that I’ve been able to share in this with you as a reader. 🙂
Ah, yes, I’m sure my feelings will change some later on 😉 Glad to hear you’re adjusted now!!
Aw–isn’t that the coolest feeling?!
Thank you so much, Candice!! That means a lot. As a reader, and a friend 🙂