These days, my bladder is a trampoline, my abs are a punching bag, and my back often feels like someone is twisting a screwdriver into it. But you know what? I wouldn’t change any of it for anything.
You see, for the first four months of my pregnancy (I’m 25 weeks along now, so five months down/in the sixth month) I didn’t have morning sickness, wasn’t gaining a ton of weight, and aside from being a little tired and craving carbs … didn’t honestly “feel” pregnant.
But now I have multiple daily physical reminders that Baby Girl is in there, growing, moving, existing … And the fact that my husband can even feel her now just makes it feel that much more real. I have to say, seeing the awed look on his face each time he feels her move now is just the coolest thing ever.
Adding to this mega-dose of reality, over the weekend, we ordered our crib and changing table (Target was having an amazing baby sale!), looked at some potential nursery paint colors (to match this bedding I’m obsessed with!), updated our registry, and I got my invite for the baby shower my mom and sister are throwing for me back home in N.J.
Yea, this is really happening! And whereas in my life I’ve always been anxious for a next step (whatever it may be) … for some reason (and again, talk to me in December as I’m about to pop or in February when I have a sick infant on my hands!) I feel … dare I say it … CALM. Cool. Collected.
I know it’s totally out of character for me — Ms. Uptight/Stress-Queen to be this way. I guess maybe it’s because I know I have my husband, family, best friend (who’s a mom!) and friends as wonderful sounding boards and support systems, and it makes me less fearful of the unknown? I dunno.
And there are plenty of unknowns when it comes to parenting because you can have all these ideas in your head for how you think you’ll do something … and then that changes when the baby is here. Like now, I’d like to nurse. Will it be possible? I hope so. But I won’t know til she’s here.
And we’ve already experienced this a bit with Rocco; things we thought we wouldn’t do (obedience classes — thought we could do it on our own; crate training–thought it was cruel but it turns out he loves his little “house” as we call it, and has been nearly perfectly house-broken; feed him people food) we have. And things we thought we’d do (let him stay outside during the day) we haven’t (mostly because he barks and hates being alone!).
So I know we have a lot to learn, but for some reason, I’m not anxious or scared. I mean, of course, I have the usual fears all mothers-to-be probably concern themselves with (will she be healthy, will I be a good mom, will I be able to deal with crying when hubby is at school or work, what if I drop her?!, will I have trouble going back to work, etc) … but I think on the whole, I’m more excited than anything else … and more eager for the future than perhaps I’ve ever been in my whole nearly 31 years of existence.
I’m looking to a future that is happy, healthy and strong.
And please take note: nowhere in there did I say “thin.”