I have been waiting for this day since I found out I was pregnant.
In many ways, you wear pregnancy like a secret badge for the first 14 weeks (i.e., first trimester).
And then, once you feel comfortable saying something — especially if it’s your first pregnancy and you’re like me and not really showing yet — it’s kind of, well, awkward.
I mean, how to bring it up when you’re bursting at the seams but not really bursting out of your seams quite yet?Again, awkward.
So unless the opportunity comes up, I don’t bring it up. In fact, I haven’t said much at work except to the handful of friends who knew what was going on with the testing (and my boss, for obvious reasons!)
That said, I’m rocking maternity clothes now. I mean, really, why the hell not? My amazing mom sent me a TON of adorable things last week — love you, Mama! — and I bought some other stuff.
Even if I don’t have much of an obvious bump to show quite yet and even if they’re a little big, the truth is, they”re way more comfortable than squeezing myself into my regular clothes just because I can. (Just because you “can” doesn’t mean you “should” applies here for sure!).
It’s crazy to me how just a few small pounds can make such a difference to your shape — it’s not at all like when I’ve gained a few pounds in the past. The weight sits very much in my tummy (well, at least for now; I still have 5 months to go!).
Speaking of weight, I was thinking today about my weight loss journey back in 2004 and how it compares to what I’m experiencing now. Oddly, I notice a lot of similarities so far, which is surprising since the scales are tipping in completely opposite (but exciting) directions.
I recalled how my body changed dramatically in those eight months between April 2004 (when I began WW) and December 2004 (when I hit goal). I lost 35 lbs and dropped from a 14/12 to a 6. At the time, I got lots of compliments and comments on my “shrinking” form. It felt wonderful to hear the compliments.
I dressed to accentuate my new shape, and felt like a million bucks. And though at times I felt uncomfortable in my new skin (I wasn’t used to that kind of attention from others) I owned it.
What’s intriguing to me is that now I’m experiencing the opposite side of the spectrum... but in a way, it’s similar: people commenting, staring, looking … only this time, it’s at your EXPANDING body, and with affection (vs the jealousy/envy women who lose weight sometimes experience). And the truth is (as of now) I don’t mind.
As before, I’m dressing for my new shape. I love the fact that a lot of today’s maternity styles are actually en vogue in regular clothes, too (you know what I mean — long, lean tanks and Ts and flowy tops, empire waists, maxi dresses, yoga skirts etc). And once again, I”m trying to own it … in spite of the fact that at some point I am sure I’ll feel a bit uncomfortable in my new skin.
In a way, it’s crazy that I’m this calm about it all … believe me, it’s not what I would have expected of myself, either! But I have to say, it feels good to feel so cool, calm and collected about it –and it’s not hyperbole. It’s the real deal.
Maybe at 30, I’m finally learning what true self-acceptance means? Well, I’ll be … !
How about you? Does it make you uncomfortable when people notice weight gain/loss? Or do you just let it brush off you