“With Bump, Not Plump”

It’s no surprise that over the past year or two, I’ve gained some weight.

Though it sucks to admit it, I’ve been quite honest about that here on the blog because, well, this is my place to talk about that stuff … for better or worse. πŸ˜‰

Even with stopping the nasty chewing and spitting behaviors of the past and gaining a much healthier relationship with both food and exercise (yea!), I was never able to re-lose the weight I’d hoped to.

It seems I finally reached that “set point” where my body was content and it didn’t require a helluva lot of effort to maintain … (Amen!). I’ve come to accept that we all have our own “set points,” and for some women that is much higher or lower than other women — and there’s no point in comparing. (Double amen!)

This has been well and good for the past year or so … The thing is, now I’m in that awkward in-between phase where 1) we haven’t told a ton of people yet that we’re expecting (just close friends and family and obviously you, my readers!) and where 2) I don’t have a visible bump yet … but just look/feel thick.

And as a woman who had weight issues in the past — as someone who was heavy, then got thin, gained weight and is now normal-ish —Β  it’s definitely wild to see your body transform without you doing anything to make it happen. In a way, it really is like surrendering control for your baby… but it’s being done with 100% love.

That said, I know I shouldn’t care what anyone else thinks, but even though I feel comfortable with the changes my body is experiencing/will experience, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t care at all.

People who know me and see me every day might be able to recognize I’m showing a smidge (some have, and they’ve made my day!!) but for the most part … I think I just look like someone who has put on a few … which is (admittedly) hard for a control-freak like myself who had already put on a few prior to getting pregnant. KWIM?

(And yes, I realize nearly every pregnant woman experiences this awkwardΒ  in-between stage and in no way do I think I’m unique; I’m just actually talking about it!).

Which brings me to this adorbs T-shirt I saw online at 2chix.com .

It says what so many of us are thinking in those early stages, laying it out there for the world to see. The T-shirt has “cojones,” and I dig it.

Of course, anyone who knows me in real life knows I don’t really wear T-shirts (except to work out in) and there’s no way I’d spend $40 on a T-shirt anyway … but it really made me smile and so today, I thought I’d share it.

What I think is most interesting of all is I don’t really notice other women’s bodies and/or their weight fluctuations … but am very aware of my own. I guess it means I still carry around some body image insecurity, and possibly always will.

Truth be told, think I’ll feel a lot more comfortable with the vanity aspect of pregnancy when it is obvious I am, indeed, pregnant, and not just getting “plump.” I’m in my 15th week now, so hopefully soon!

And in the meantime, I’ll just go about my life and enjoy knowing I’m sustaining life inside of me. Which is seriously like THE coolest notion ever!

(Note:Β  as I typed that line, I began welling up. Who am I?!)

How about you? Do you notice other women’s bodies/weight fluctuations? Or was it something you became more aware of after losing weight or gaining weight? Do you think most women pay attention, or just body-conscious/obsessed women?

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10 thoughts on ““With Bump, Not Plump”

  1. I remember that “heavy” stage when I was pregnant, particularly with my first daughter. I was still early in my recovery and very self-conscious about my changing body. The good news is that I got through it, and being pregnant really helped me to develop an extremely healthy attitude about and relationship with my body. I never loved my body more in my life than when I had a big, round, preggo belly.

    Try to enjoy the miracle that you get to be a part of! It’s like nothing else. πŸ™‚

    1. I hope that happens to me, too! πŸ™‚

      I am so excited to see her growing! And nervous for my ultrasound tomorrow — I always get nervous now before visits! Sigh …

  2. I hated the tweener stage when I was pregnant but I just dealt with it knowing it was going to be brief. But seriously, you ARE showing and you do not look pudgy. Just sayin’. πŸ™‚

    I tend to notice other women’s fluctuations but only when its obvious. You can definitely tell the yo-yo’s. I also think I notice fluctuations in women who constantly talk about their weight. I think they bring that much attention to themselves and then it becomes more obvious when they gain or lose. I’m not sure if that’s because I’m obsessed or just observant. πŸ˜‰

    1. πŸ™‚ Thank you!! Once again you made my day πŸ™‚

      Yea, I def. notice it more in weight-obsessed people than “normal” people. I admire people who can lose or gain without speaking about it because, truthfully, no one else cares! And it just draws attention to them otherwise.

  3. You know what? I read this and think, wow – how “normal” do you sound right now? Just like all the other early-stage pregnant ladies out there. Getting used to “letting go” of their bodies for the sake of that gorgeous growing baby inside. Gone are so many of your previous disordered tendencies which to me, is amazing, incredible and a sign of your strength. I just had to put that out there. And PS. I totally dig that t-shirt, I say splurge and buy it πŸ™‚

    1. Aw thank you!! πŸ™‚ I DO feel “normal” — and not at all obsessive (though I’m sure even talking about it makes me seem obsessive; I know how I feel though and it’s pretty tranquil for me πŸ˜‰

      Thank you! πŸ™‚

      LOL ….maybe pregnancy will turn me into a T-shirt and jeans kinda gal. Right now I’m still unlikely to leave the house unless I feel “done up” πŸ˜‰

  4. I think your perspective is completely normal, as most women who have never “properly dealt” with weight issues probably go through this stage with pregnancy. While it doesn’t matter what other people think, if some weirdo does comment about putting on a few pounds, you can throw out the fact that you are actually incubating a human life in there!

    But to be honest, I think we are all much more self-conscious about our minor fluctuations than anyone else. I can feel like the whole world knows I need my eyebrows waxed, when in fact, no one really cares. Most people are so caught up in themselves that they really don’t notice our little details (the ones we view as negative, anyway.)

    My long-winded way of saying that if anything, you probably look healthier and happier right now than you did when you were in the midst of your battle. Enjoy this ride and wear the baby bump with pride πŸ˜‰

    1. Thanks so much, Abby! And I think you’re spot-on; we’re all living in our own little (often narcissistic!) worlds and it’s true we’re our own harshest critics/worst enemies. I try to remember that.

      πŸ™‚

  5. I think I only started looking pregnant around 25 weeks! Until then I just looked chubby and frumpy! That said, I refused to wear fitted clothes until more recently – I just wasn’t comfortable with my body. Now I’m showing off the belly and am proud of it! I know you will be too πŸ™‚

    1. You go girl! Rock that bump!! πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ You have the best time of year to show it off — I’ll be at my biggest in the dead of winter where form-fitting clothes just don’t work! You go! πŸ™‚ Can’t wait to meet your little one!

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