Though it sucks to admit it, I’ve been quite honest about that here on the blog because, well, this is my place to talk about that stuff … for better or worse. 😉
Even with stopping the nasty chewing and spitting behaviors of the past and gaining a much healthier relationship with both food and exercise (yea!), I was never able to re-lose the weight I’d hoped to.
It seems I finally reached that “set point” where my body was content and it didn’t require a helluva lot of effort to maintain … (Amen!). I’ve come to accept that we all have our own “set points,” and for some women that is much higher or lower than other women — and there’s no point in comparing. (Double amen!)
This has been well and good for the past year or so … The thing is, now I’m in that awkward in-between phase where 1) we haven’t told a ton of people yet that we’re expecting (just close friends and family and obviously you, my readers!) and where 2) I don’t have a visible bump yet … but just look/feel thick.
And as a woman who had weight issues in the past — as someone who was heavy, then got thin, gained weight and is now normal-ish — it’s definitely wild to see your body transform without you doing anything to make it happen. In a way, it really is like surrendering control for your baby… but it’s being done with 100% love.
That said, I know I shouldn’t care what anyone else thinks, but even though I feel comfortable with the changes my body is experiencing/will experience, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t care at all.
People who know me and see me every day might be able to recognize I’m showing a smidge (some have, and they’ve made my day!!) but for the most part … I think I just look like someone who has put on a few … which is (admittedly) hard for a control-freak like myself who had already put on a few prior to getting pregnant. KWIM?
(And yes, I realize nearly every pregnant woman experiences this awkward in-between stage and in no way do I think I’m unique; I’m just actually talking about it!).
Which brings me to this adorbs T-shirt I saw online at 2chix.com .
It says what so many of us are thinking in those early stages, laying it out there for the world to see. The T-shirt has “cojones,” and I dig it.
Of course, anyone who knows me in real life knows I don’t really wear T-shirts (except to work out in) and there’s no way I’d spend $40 on a T-shirt anyway … but it really made me smile and so today, I thought I’d share it.
What I think is most interesting of all is I don’t really notice other women’s bodies and/or their weight fluctuations … but am very aware of my own. I guess it means I still carry around some body image insecurity, and possibly always will.
Truth be told, think I’ll feel a lot more comfortable with the vanity aspect of pregnancy when it is obvious I am, indeed, pregnant, and not just getting “plump.” I’m in my 15th week now, so hopefully soon!
And in the meantime, I’ll just go about my life and enjoy knowing I’m sustaining life inside of me. Which is seriously like THE coolest notion ever!
(Note: as I typed that line, I began welling up. Who am I?!)
How about you? Do you notice other women’s bodies/weight fluctuations? Or was it something you became more aware of after losing weight or gaining weight? Do you think most women pay attention, or just body-conscious/obsessed women?