So Much to Say …

… But I can’t say anything at all. 😦

Unfortunately, I’m going through a tough situation that I can’t share or vocalize here on the blog. I can’t say much except that I’m in a limbo-zone, a waiting-zone … and I don’t handle waiting or patience very well.

And while I can’t say anything conclusively, I certainly feel like I’m being tested … like every fiber of my being is being tested. This challenging experience  also makes all my past eating issues seem like an absolute cakewalk in the grand scheme of things. Funny how that works.

Truthfully, I think the coping mechanisms I have focused on to manage my anxiety will come in very handy in the coming weeks and months. So for that, I’m grateful. But I am still in a very vulnerable place.

Though I’m not a religious person in the practicing sense, I consider myself to be a spiritual/faithful person. And I am someone who prays a lot and talks to God a lot in my head … and I’m hoping he’s listening.

No matter what the challenge at hand may be, my hubby has always said, “The only thing left to lose is hope …”  and I definitely don’t want to lose that. He’s totally right; it’s the last thing to lose. Ultimately, difficult times challenge us and make us stronger in the end … they test our strength of character and conviction.

This line from the song “Need You Now” has been going around in my head for the past few weeks, “I’d rather hurt than feel nothing at all …” But even as I hear the words, they sting.

So I will take each day one day at a time. Eventually I’ll be able to share here what’s going on but for now, I just can’t.

And since I’ve disliked not having my own outlet … I felt the urge to blog today, and did. Thank you for your patience. It means a lot.

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13 thoughts on “So Much to Say …

  1. Well,let me just say that I’m a regular reader who is not going away…. I’m also a blogger in the midst of a personal thing that I’m not able to write about right now… funny how that happens…I totally understand….it kind of freezes writing about almost anything… I hope you can come visit me on my blog… I’m going to be exploring writing about this issues soon….
    Anyway, i’m sending you peace and wisdom
    visit me at http://www.mehok.wordpress.com
    xoxo
    Liz

  2. Whatever you’re going through, I know you’ll come through it on the other side an even stronger person that you already are. Take care of yourself and I hope your circumstances resolve themselves positively.

  3. Take whatever time you need. I will always be a faithful follower. Your hubby couldn’t be more right. I say add faith in there, too. Keep the faith, friend. You’re in my constant prayers.

  4. Thank you, everyone, for your kind thoughts, emails, and notes. I appreciate it more than you know. I hope to be back soon but til then, thank you for your support. It will all make sense eventually.

  5. lissa you are loved and prayed for. i believe that the Holy Spirit hears my prayer for you, even though i cannot pray specifically about what you need right now…HE KNOWS and will provide in His perfect way!

  6. I hate when I feel like writing about something might make me feel better but I can’t write about something, usually for privacy reasons. I hope everything works out okay.

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