Piggybacking off today’s previous post …

So my SELF subscription still hasn’t run out yet, which means I’m still reading each issue I get.

Though I loathe the magazine editor’s ‘tude (and find her lame excuses pitiful) following the Kelly Clarkson cover debacle in September, I genuinely like the content of SELF and, in fact, came across another great article yesterday that both rejuvenated and inspired me to get back on the healthy wagon and stay there.

I can’t find the article online, but it was basically little journal entries of a woman’s journey as she lost 28 lbs. over the course of a year.

Reading her words — including her ups and downs — reminded me so much of my own journey, and of my former self … the dedicated dieter who attempted weight loss just once and it worked like a charm.

Naturally, I don’t want to go down that path again if it will result in triggering any disordered behaviors, but the truth is, I do need to make some changes (as I noted earlier) and it took reading her journey — and seeing her numbers go down each week — to re-inspire me.

I don’t know if my company is going to do its wellness program again this year, but if we do (or even if we don’t) I have rejoined Weight Watchers Online and am starting anew, like a fresh-faced newbie.

Basically, what it boils down to is this: I have kept off roughly 10 percent of the 18 percent of my (maintainable) body weight I lost five years ago. Not terrible, but not great either. I’d like to be comfortable in my clothes and some do feel tighter (especially post-holidays). And while I’ve never stopped counting Points, I did stop my online subscription, … and I think this could be just the motivation I need.

You see, my six-year WW anniversary (i.e., when I joined) is April 13. For six years I’ve been on WW. And I haven’t been doing so hot lately. So how amazing would it be to have lost these nagging 10 lbs by then, slowly/steadily? It’s not a crazy amount to lose, nor is it impossible. We’re talking over the course of four months, too.

I know in my heart of hearts if I ate cleaner and could nip emotional eating and impulse buys in the bud, I would be successful once again at Weight Watchers because it DOES work; the program works when you work it. It worked for me back then and my heart was totally into it then.

But I’ve given in to entitlement over the past two years or so, and I’ve not been giving it my all at all.

And I feel ready to do it once again. So here I am, giving you my word that I’m going to do my best to really embrace my mantra of “my body is my temple” and if I can manage to ditch these nagging 10 lbs, awesome. And if not, oh well. I’ll have tried, right?

Don’ worry, I won’t be posting my weight or anything I eat here — this isn’t a weight loss blog — but I did want to share with you, my readers, that I’m going to going back to an old flame, one I need to rekindle my relationship with, so to speak.

I’m also viewing things from a different lens, as I’m coming at it from a very different place than I was six years ago. Yes, I’m carrying a lot more baggage. But I also think I’m carrying more wisdom, too. I’m older and know myself better now. I also know what works and doesn’t work for me and am secure in that institutional knowledge.

Therapy helped me see my structured/Type-A personality as an asset; it’s time to use it to my advantage yet again. And I don’t fear falling into old traps; I know how ugly that path is and don’t want to set so much as a toe on it. I won’t put myself through that agony.

So this might sound like a New Year’s resolution, but it’s really part of my broader picture of wanting to embrace my body as a temple. And I really believe attaching a tangible goal to an intangible philosophy (mantra) will help me achieve this goal.

After all, I’ve done it before, and believe I have the tools to do it again. I just got a little too comfortable, and it’s starting to show. So … with my confidence coming back, I’m ready for a new challenge!

Thank you in advance for your support.

Sincerely,

Melissa