Attaching a Goal to a Mantra

Me this weekend, ready for the challenge!!

Piggybacking off today’s previous post …

So my SELF subscription still hasn’t run out yet, which means I’m still reading each issue I get.

Though I loathe the magazine editor’s ‘tude (and find her lame excuses pitiful) following the Kelly Clarkson cover debacle in September, I genuinely like the content of SELF and, in fact, came across another great article yesterday that both rejuvenated and inspired me to get back on the healthy wagon and stay there.

I can’t find the article online, but it was basically little journal entries of a woman’s journey as she lost 28 lbs. over the course of a year.

Reading her words — including her ups and downs — reminded me so much of my own journey, and of my former self … the dedicated dieter who attempted weight loss just once and it worked like a charm.

Naturally, I don’t want to go down that path again if it will result in triggering any disordered behaviors, but the truth is, I do need to make some changes (as I noted earlier) and it took reading her journey — and seeing her numbers go down each week — to re-inspire me.

I don’t know if my company is going to do its wellness program again this year, but if we do (or even if we don’t) I have rejoined Weight Watchers Online and am starting anew, like a fresh-faced newbie.

Basically, what it boils down to is this: I have kept off roughly 10 percent of the 18 percent of my (maintainable) body weight I lost five years ago. Not terrible, but not great either. I’d like to be comfortable in my clothes and some do feel tighter (especially post-holidays). And while I’ve never stopped counting Points, I did stop my online subscription, … and I think this could be just the motivation I need.

You see, my six-year WW anniversary (i.e., when I joined) is April 13. For six years I’ve been on WW. And I haven’t been doing so hot lately. So how amazing would it be to have lost these nagging 10 lbs by then, slowly/steadily? It’s not a crazy amount to lose, nor is it impossible. We’re talking over the course of four months, too.

I know in my heart of hearts if I ate cleaner and could nip emotional eating and impulse buys in the bud, I would be successful once again at Weight Watchers because it DOES work; the program works when you work it. It worked for me back then and my heart was totally into it then.

But I’ve given in to entitlement over the past two years or so, and I’ve not been giving it my all at all.

And I feel ready to do it once again. So here I am, giving you my word that I’m going to do my best to really embrace my mantra of “my body is my temple” and if I can manage to ditch these nagging 10 lbs, awesome. And if not, oh well. I’ll have tried, right?

Don’ worry, I won’t be posting my weight or anything I eat here — this isn’t a weight loss blog — but I did want to share with you, my readers, that I’m going to going back to an old flame, one I need to rekindle my relationship with, so to speak.

I’m also viewing things from a different lens, as I’m coming at it from a very different place than I was six years ago. Yes, I’m carrying a lot more baggage. But I also think I’m carrying more wisdom, too. I’m older and know myself better now. I also know what works and doesn’t work for me and am secure in that institutional knowledge.

Therapy helped me see my structured/Type-A personality as an asset; it’s time to use it to my advantage yet again. And I don’t fear falling into old traps; I know how ugly that path is and don’t want to set so much as a toe on it. I won’t put myself through that agony.

So this might sound like a New Year’s resolution, but it’s really part of my broader picture of wanting to embrace my body as a temple. And I really believe attaching a tangible goal to an intangible philosophy (mantra) will help me achieve this goal.

After all, I’ve done it before, and believe I have the tools to do it again. I just got a little too comfortable, and it’s starting to show. So … with my confidence coming back, I’m ready for a new challenge!

Thank you in advance for your support.

Sincerely,

Melissa

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11 thoughts on “Attaching a Goal to a Mantra

  1. I love your great attitude and your goal of April makes it a sane journey. I have also thought of renewing my WW online subscription but I worry that it will make me crazy counting again which leads to an obsessive behavior path that I am afriad of going down again.
    My new year’s resolution (which I hate to admit it but darn it, that’s what it is!) is to run a marathon in May and perhaps start trying to do yoga at a studio this winter.
    Melissa

    1. Hi Melissa, love your name 🙂 I can see your concern with that and it makes sense. I hope not to be obsessive about it; today has been awesome so far. It’s fun to log my Points and I forgot how much I loved that accountability. In my little notebooks I could cross stuff out, etc., but online, it’s much cleaner. I just need to figure out how to do it from my BlackBerry! 🙂

      What a great goal — you can do it!

  2. You always look so glowing in your pictures regardless of how you feel about your body. I know how it feels to want to get back to a happy weight though. You’ll do great!

    1. Thank you, Leah, that means so much! I did feel particularly glowy in this pic; I think it was the sunlight and the fact that I was with my husband and his cousin’s kids — I love kids!

    1. Stephanie, I have, many times … and I’m just not able to do it yet. So since I know I’m good at structure, and it doesn’t upset me to be structured, I’m giving WW Online another try. I do believe in the concept of IE … I’m just not quite there yet. Eventually, I hope to get there.

  3. Thanks, Jenn! I really think I can do this because those behaviors are in the past and I really want to get to this next level of being non-disordered, and that means making more peace with food. As always, food is a symptom, not the problem. But it’s easy to use food as the excuse/problem. And I’m sick of doing that.

  4. I haven’t commented on here in a while. I eat intuitively for the most part but the last few months I had gained about 5-7 pounds. I had begun eating out of boredom which was a big nasty cycle of overeating and wanting this or that. This might sound silly but I started knitting and have lost the weight. I find myself so consumed with finishing a project and thinking about what I am doing next that eating became the last thing on my mind so much so that I will forget about it until my stomach starts telling me it is time to eat. It brought me back to IE. My boss also said that she read an afternoon of knitting burns 500 calories. I am NOT saying take up knitting or giving anyone advice. I just thought it was interesting and kinda cool.

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