Sorry for not blogging much recently; between my trips to NJ, a work event in Chicago and a conference in San Diego, I’ve not had much time to blog and things have been good so I’m less inclined to dwell but rather, live. Here I am “living”–i.e., being silly at Coronado Beach, CA, on my trip, still in conference clothes!
Many of you know my love for Ryan Reynolds, and one of the funniest SNL skits he did last month was that song about Danny McCoonz and his “status update.”
So in that light … here’s my “status update”!
I posted about enjoying a nice solo meal the first day I was in San Diego, and some other highlights of this most recent trip included eating pretty much whatever I wanted (within reason) and running along the bay three times.
I loved being around such healthy, fit people – it really motivated me to keep going.
I only did a half hour run each day – which in reality is less cardio than I typically do – but I pushed myself to run faster each day and that meant it was a more effective workout, even if it burned less calories on average than my workouts typically do.
I don’t know that I can say I’m cured of my issues … (though I’ve been chew/spit free for eight months now) but I do know that I’m testing myself quite a bit these days, venturing out a little and trying to be less obsessive, changing up my routines.
It was hard at first, but it’s feeling more and more natural these days. The truth is, I don’t want to miss life anymore.
No, of course I don’t want to gain any more weight than I have the past two years … but I am not actively working to lose weight, either. (I’m journaling and working out, but still consistently eating APs each week even though I shouldn’t be if I wanted to actually lose).
I haven’t stepped on the scale since the end of September, but I feel pretty good in my own skin lately, and that feels nice.
If I could keep my head in this good place, maybe weight loss would ensue. Maybe it won’t, but at least I’ll feel better mentally/emotionally about myself as a result of loosening the reigns just a smidge.
How about you? Do you think it’s possible to ever be truly recovered from food/exercise/disordered eating issues? Or do you think you’ll always need to be on the lookout for signs?