Giving more thought to yesterday’s all-over-the-place post, I’m realizing what it comes down to is this: I hate the thought of “dieting” to lose weight.
To quote my two-year old self, “I don’t wanna!”
“Dieting” goes against everything I felt about Weight Watchers; I always told people “it’s a way of life” and tried to make the distinction at every opportunity.
The truth is, if I’m going to cut 500 calories a day to lose a pound a week, I would much rather do it through exercise like I do now.
However unrealistic it is, I’d rather work out hard every single day for the rest of my life — than “diet” or not give in to momentary cravings/impulses/desires.
And that is what’s hurting me, what I’m eating … even though it’s journaled, even though it’s measured … it’s still too much — especially since I’ve been eating some of my activity points as of late.
It’s too much to lose.
Deep down, I know exercise isn’t my problem; it never has been my weakness on the weight loss spectrum. I’ve never had trouble fitting it in (I still have trouble with taking rest days — though I did yesterday — whoo hoo!).
But that luxury of time won’t necessarily exist forever, and I do realize that … which is why I need to get the food aspect under grips, even though I’m resisting it every inch of the way.
It’s really that I’m still eating too much — or not the right things — to lose. I don’t mind journaling, and I don’t mind exercising. But I DO mind living literally obsessed about food.
I know what I need to do, and I just hate the thought of really cutting back, deliberately cutting back. And I need to do it.
That said, the most probable/easiest solution is really just not buying triggers at all. The junk foods I used to chew and spit … I eat a little of now. Well, it’s not wholesome, it’s not fuel and it’s not fun.
I’d much rather save up for dinner/dessert out with my girls (i.e., tonight :)) or a birthday party (this coming weekend for my hubby) than waste calories or points on impulses, alone, during the day.
But it’s hard to remember that or think that way in the moment. (Can anyone else relate?!)
I am, whether I want to admit it or not, an emotional eater. Not a binger, but an emotional eater, for sure.
I don’t have the answers, but I got some good advice in yesterday’s comments from Lara, which helped put things in perspective.
Along those lines, I am so glad so many of you can/did relate to my post yesterday. It means a lot to know we’re not alone.
Thanks, as always, for continuining with me through my triumphs and tribulations.
And cheers for a better, healthier day!
How about you? How do you handle when your toddler voice/thoughts dominates your adult voice/thoughts?