Friday Thought

I really don’t like Dr. Phil, but I was reading Oprah’s magazine, O., at the gym last night and came across this most fabulous quote he used that can be applied to seriously anything in life.

“The difference between a dream and a goal is a timeline.”

How true is that?! We can think about something on end, pro-con-con-pro something to death … but in the end, if we don’t take action, our dreams remain just that: a dream.

Right now, I’m three months in and feeling strong. But three months, while awesome, isn’t necessarily long enough to say I’m out of the woods.

At the end of the summer, it’ll be six months. And so … my goal is to be disordered-eating-free by the end of this summer.

I don’t expect to never have certain thoughts … It’d be naïve to think that I’ll suddenly be ok with taking two weeks off exercise when taking two days is still hard for me to do … or that I’ll eat a whole piece of cheesecake on my own without thinking twice …

But like John Nash says, “I choose not to entertain certain appetites.”

And that means being as comfortable and flexible as I can be, within my own paradigm.

I think it’s a realistic goal. And if I can shed this nagging weight in the process, all the better. Hard as it is for me to accept/admit, the weight I’ve gained overcoming disordered eating issues this past year has been worth every pound.

In a way, I think I needed this, to jolt me into action. And I think someone else up there knew it, too.

Because really, how else can I think about creating and sustaining life until I love me, inside and out?

So what is your goal?

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9 thoughts on “Friday Thought

  1. I like the Dr. Phil quote, but I often get stuck with half of a timeline–one which amounts more to a hope than a plan–and unsure about whether what I have is a dream or a goal. I really care about the distinction because I often find myself riding on my amorphous potential, instead of actively working to be the person I think I have the potential to be. I don’t want to wake up one day and think: I had a great life because I COULD have been and done so much.

  2. I think I’ve heard that Dr. Phil quote before, and it’s really interesting. Most of my goals have included losing weight, and I’ve found that if I put a deadline on that, then I’m less likely to reach the goal. BUT, I do have a goal for the summer: no matter how tired I am from my camp job, I will continue to exercise after camp at least 3 days a week.

  3. I love that! So wonderfully true. I think your goal, and the way you define it is so positive. Mine is to be FLEXIBLE by the end of the summer. To not let my schedule be so rigid that I can’t do certain things. I want to be able to do WHATEVER I want, WHENEVER I want to do it.

  4. I think any absolute weight loss goals, for example, are setting us up for failure. I like saying “10%” or 5 lbs. here and there. Honestly, i had no goal in mind when I joined WW in 2004. I just lost weight every week nearly until I stopped losing… I didn’t know a goal, bc I’d never been thin. But my BODY knew a goal. And I never lost more than 35 lbs. That was it. And now I’ve gained back 15 from that lowest-point; 10 from my comfy weight.

    But I think timelines can work for other things … other goals. “Pay off credit card” or “Write a magazine article” or “buy a new house” or “save for vacation” or “finish the basement” — having a timeline helps for those things.

    So long as there’s some flexibility, I think it helps. Then again, it depends on the person.

    Timeline are “restrictive” for some; I thrive on them. At work if you tell me something is due Monday, it’ll be done by COB Friday; that’s how I roll 🙂

  5. I love that quote – how simple, but TRUE. I think that is my problem…I dream about so many things, but I never put them on a timeline or do anything about so many of them (plus, I am a major MAJOR procrastinator!). I think your goal is very realistic – and you have come so far already!

    My goal is to really make a decision about my career. I’ve been unhappy at my job for so long and have put off doing anything about it because it’s “comfortable.” I’m happy to say I actually made an appointment with an advisor at a college here in town. Hopefully by the end of the year I’ll be enrolled somewhere!

  6. You are totally inspiring. I’m so impressed you’ve been free from C/S for 3 months! I’ve tried detox from c/s #3 and had some setbacks. In the last 14 days, I’ve messed up 5 days. I guess I maybe need an all or nothing mentality. Part of me is still saying – okay, one mess up is okay, I’ll do better tomorrow. I’m not sure how to handle the messups…..because whenever I tell myself I mess up isn’t okay, and then I do it…..I just end up hating myself all the more, and then I give in. I feel like whatever I tell myself is just ultimately stopping me. Argh…it is a vicious cycle. I guess I’ll proclaim my goal here – I’m going to try to be C/S free for at least another 7 days. How did you overcome that barrier – and just finally quit. Are you still tempted to do it? If not – how how how? I know it is probably a personal journey, but I just can’t seem to figure this out. Hopefully I’ll meet my goal next week. Thanks for the comfort in gaining weight overcoming….I guess I need to accept that as part of the deal. I’ve already gained 12 lbs. or so since trying to nix this habit – and I feel crappy about that weight not good. I guess I still have some mentality thinking to switch around. I enjoyed reading that you find that weight gain worth it. I think I need to somehow find that same belief.

  7. Thanks so much, GonnaSwallowIt. I would try to reframe it — you had 9 successful days, versus “messing up” for 5. I really think you have to want it … I wanted it bad enough that I could just say ‘I’m in control and this is not what I want to do — waste money, waste calories, living in a secret world where food gave me pleasure alone …’ Once I realized I WAS in control … it suddenly made sense that I didn’t want to do it and could choose not to! It wasn’t easy … it’s taken almost a year, but I’m three months (plus a week now!) “sober” and it does feel magical. I’m not disgusted with myself; I’m PROUD. Once I chose PRIDE over GUILT, it’s like something snapped. My little brother actually was the final straw for me, he empowered me with that “choose pride over guilt” and it clicked.

    DEF not tempted. I find myself EATING things I might have c/s … but even that is less so now. It’s just so gross and disgusting and when I think of all the plastic bags and napkins that held my c/s … it makes me hate myself. That is NOT productive or a good thing, so I choose to not engage those appetites. Sure, the thought crosses my mind from time to time. But then I think of how crappy I feel after. I’d rather eat a piece of chocolate and savor it than spit it up. It’s not dignified, or womanly, or pretty.

    I would’t say I am HAPPY with the weight c/s gave me; moreso that stopping it came at a price I was willing to pay. I actually didn’t gain any weight STOPPING c/s … which surprised me. Actually, I guess it shouldn’t surprise me!

    Try to reframe it: every day you make it through without c/s becomes a notch on your belt. And it takes 21 days for something to be a habit. You CAN do it! But you have to choose to do it … which isn’t easy. Good luck … and remember, you’re worth it!

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