The past two days, since making my resolution to go back to strictly counting Points and ditching Sparkpeople, I’ve found it surprisingly easy to adhere to Dr. Beck’s “No Choice” mantra, something that often plagued me in the past.
Naturally, it got me thinking: Why is it so easy sometimes, and so damn difficult — seemingly impossible — at others?
The more I thought about it, the more convinced I became that, 100 percent, it has to do with mindset an being in a good frame of mind.
Taking ownership of my decisions and accepting and personal responsibility for my actions. Realizing that each action has an equal and opposite reaction. Understanding that I am in control and no one else can help me get back to my comfortable place but me.
The past two days, I’ve made healthy choices, good choices, wholesome choices … which leaves little room for “extras” since these filling foods … well, fill me!
And, crazy as it sounds, I’ve done this without depriving myself in the slightest. It freaked me out to see that in the past two days, I’ve eaten what I might have eaten in one day just a mere week ago. But it was a great wake-up call, one I needed to hear.
Though I was always journaling what I ate, I was usually going above my Sparkpeople range, which meant –even in spite of my mega-workouts (700, 800 calories per my HRM on the high side, 500 on the low side) — I was , in no uncertain terms, over-eating.
I absolutely was not diligently watching my intake or actively trying to lose weight, as much as I loathe to admit it. I knew better, I just didn’t know better, if that makes any sense.
And now, I’m not being at all restrictive or even finicky about food. I’m just slowing it down, making more filling choices that leave less room for junk, versus having the junk (Luna bars, Chex, gourmet PB) and then trying to build dinner around it. I’m planning better, listening to my body’s cravings.
And you know what? It’s made me a calmer wife, friend and employee. Honest to God, it’s like a serene calm has washed over me. I feel like a different person, a better version of Melissa.
Wow, it’s like a miracle: when my eating and exercise is moderare and in check, I am in check. Hmmmm…!
In fact, I was at a work event I organized last night, and in spite of the beautiful spread in front of me (that I’d picked out, in my role of “event planner” for this gig) it wasn’t screaming my name.
When the panel portion ended at 5 and the food came out, I was genuinely hungry — lunch had been over five hours ago, in prep for the event. (I had planned ahead and brought a Rachel’s cottage cheese for a snack, but in carrying a ton of stuff to bring to the hotel for our event, I forgot it in the office fridge).
So I made a sensible plate and had some fruit and veggies, a chicken skewer and a single piece of shrimp cocktail (protein fills me). I didn’t need more, and even looking at the mountains of options in the spread, I knew I’d be going home for dinner. “No choice” wasn’t so tough after all.
Then at home, I made a deliciously satisfying dinner of an English muffin pizza and asparagus. (Total digression, but I *love* soy cheese now — it melts so well and costs less than my Kraft cheese does!!)
In addition to this calm about food, I biked Monday when hubby was at class, but took Tuesday completely off.
I realize this sounds ridiculous to most people to chatter with pride about taking a day off (most people struggle to fit in exercise and feel guilty when they skip) but I don’t “skip”; this is a huge deal for me, a perpetual over-exerciser.
Truth be told, and I hate to admit this but will in the name of transparency, I don’t really ever take days off, not even recovery days. I know I am supposed to, to help my muscles recover, but I have a hard time with that; I’m not a marathoner or anything, and so unless I’m really exhausted or physically am unable to get to a gym/go for a ride/run … I usually do some form of exercise each day.
Anyway, part of reaching this sense of calm is in resetting my hunger queues and listening to my body. Since it had been well over 30 days since I’d taken a day off from cardio, Shredding, P90X, I knew it was only going to benefit me to do it. And it felt amazing. Plus, it’s my rest week with P90X so I’m just modifying the week a little to suit my needs, not the other way around.
I don’t know how long this calm will last, or if it will. But I do know that I’ve so rarely felt this way.
Whatever the case, I feel an enormous wave of calm … and I want to ride it out as long as I possibly can. Serenity, now … in this very moment.
How about you? What do you feel calm about at this very moment in your life?