I have been a huge Sex & The City fan since the show began, and this weekend I watched the movie for the thirteenth time or so …
After doing that, I revisited perhaps my favorite line from the entire series, which is spoken by Carrie in the very last episode of the series.
“The most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you you love, well, that’s just fabulous.”
Coming off a tough couple of months where I am inwardly (and outwardly) struggling with my weight, I really needed to “hear” those words.
I realize am blessed to have the amazing relationships I have in my life, people who love me as I am: a loving and fantastic husband who loves me unconditionally and only has kudos for my body at any size … amazing parents and siblings I would trust with my life, and the best friends a girl could wish for.
But I am still struggling with that relationship with myself … and truly loving myself.
I realize this might make me sound narcissistic and perhaps even juvenile –especially in the wake of so many real-world issues like war, poverty, genocide, an economic crisis, etc. … but so much of my sense of self is judged by my body … even now.
Even though I’m aware that it shouldn’t be; even though I’m aware at how ridiculous it is … it still is.
I want to have that relationship with myself of which Carrie speaks. Some days it feels so tangible. Other days, it seems like a pipe dream.
But here’s the rub … I won’t give up. For any of us fighting body image issues, we won’t solve them in a day. So what do we do? We keep stepping over the pebbles, until eventually they’re just (to quote a favorite song of mine) “dust in the wind.”
How about you? When did you get to the place where you truly loved yourself inside and out? Was it a defining moment … or a combination of moments, that led you to self-acceptance?
Let There Be Light 
my husband used to giggle at me as Im so with you.
I found SO MANY workds of wisdom in candace bushnells book and then the tv show.
none truer than those above.
I find myself quoting SATC so often!!
I’m still waiting for that defining moment… sigh…
Hey girl! First off, Carrie Bradshaw = Goddess of Wisdom. Although she is just a fictional character, some of the things she says, especially in the movie, should seem so obvious to us, but when she says them, it’s like BOOM! suddenly it makes SO much sense!
Anyways, I read your last post on my phone while laying in bed last night and I wanted to comment, but I was too damn tired..and it would’ve taken ages to comment from my phone. We do have struggles in life, but the people that matter will always be there with open arms for you. If anyone chooses not to be there for you based on the fact that maybe you’ve gone up a dress size, they don’t matter…and they never have.
But it is important to love yourself. I’ve noticed that when I feel disgusted with myself, or when nothing fits, that I am so rude and unloving to everyone else. And I think thats the part that I hate the most.
I think my defining moment was when I was ‘in the process’ of recovering from my eating disorder. I went into treatment at 95 lbs, then 6 months later I weighed 85 lbs, and then about a year after that, I was back up to 100 lbs. Ive realized that 100 lbs (although that seems like a small number..I’m only 5’0) is my destined weight. I feel completely happy and secure at 100 lbs. If I eat too much, I either gain half a pound or my weight stays the same. And if I dont eat enough, it shows on the scale, and then I just know I need to be eating more. Im satisfied with the way I look at this weight. Not TOO skinny, but definately not chunky.
It’s going to take a little dedication, but I know you can pull through this. You seem like a very strong woman, and eventually this will just be another rock in the water (sorry, its too early– i couldnt come up with a better metaphor) and you’ll look back on this in a couple months and be like, wow! I cant believe how much better I feel now than I did then!
HAVE FUN IN MEXICO!!!
I’m still struggling for that self love. I realize that it has different facets everyday. I can see where I have trouble connecting with others because I’m uncomfortable with myself. But I know I will get there one day, it takes time. I love that quote!
I love that quote, too. I wish there was some way we could all just take a pill and love ourselves and our bodies….for me, it’s kind of been a roller coaster ride. I’m at a place now where I do love myself inside and out – but will I go back to hating what I see in the mirror? I don’t know. And I wish I knew how to explain how I got here….I guess so much of it is trying to listen to what my body is trying to tell me – stop eating when you’re full, move a little bit everyday, and don’t dwell on those days where you splurge (that’s a toughie for me). I think sometimes it’s just like, fake it ’til you make it. And I think we can ALL say we have “those days” – who doesn’t?! 🙂
Thanks so much for the support, ladies. Holly, believe me, I wish that were possible!! Thanks so much for sharing your defining moment with us, Baylez…and you hit it on the head — I’ve not been nice/as loving to those I love right now b/c I am so miserable with myself. Sad, but true…thanks for helping me see that.
I just stumbled upon your blog and was just amazed at how your post was exactly what’s been on my mind. It is so true, the quotation! I’ve had my fair share of disordered eating so I’m really glad I found your blog. Keep up the good work!
I get to the place where I truly love myself quite often. But I don’t stay there all the time. It’s up and down.
I love SATC!!!