Love, Love … 365 Days a Year

heart-in-handsI’m an affectionate person, and I show my husband love in little ways each day.

It could be a gesture as simple as picking up a Sudoku puzzle book I know he’d like, getting his favorite bagel at Panera on my way home from the gym on Sundays, making a quick call on my lunch break to say hi, shooting him a little “thinking about you” e-mail, helping with the shoveling (or something else I loathe!), or holding on a little longer than usual in a hug.

… Or it could be the positive changes I’ve made regarding food/exercise over the past few months: making the split decision to come home after work instead of the gym so we have more time together (and going later when he’s studying, or resting), suggesting a bike ride together since we both love the outdoors, being flexible with where we decide to eat, blogging on my lunch break (when I can) so we have time together on his non-school nights …

Or it could be something as “momentous” (ok, for me) as having his family stay with us for long periods of time, or moving to Michigan for his job (and subsequently mine).

He knows my love is unconditional, and his love for me is truly the most selfless love I’ve ever experienced. We’ve been through so much together through the years, and though we don’t see eye to eye on every little thing, I know I can always count on him. For him, I am truly blessed.

But my love for myself? Ha. It’s certainly not every day I love myself … and my love for myself is often conditional, usually based on how I have treated (or tortured) my body.

I don’t mean to sound narcissistic or self-induglent here, but in spite of how much I might yap about myself/thoughts/feelings here on my blog, when push comes to shove, I don’t show love for myself.

When I chew-and-spit (like I have done a little of lately — albeit much less so than before!), that’s not loving myself.

When I over-exercise to make up for four days off (like I have done this past week), that’s not loving myself.

When I look in the mirror and poke at myself, that’s not loving myself.

When I mindlessly eat instead of feeling my feelings, that’s not loving myself.

And so in honor of Valentine’s Day — the cheesy holiday where you’re supposed to croon about the one you love … mine knows how much I love him, and I know how much he loves me. I don’t need a holiday to tell me that.

(Though if I’m being completely honest, I wouldn’t mind some dark chocolate and some time together in spite of his upcoming midterms next week!).

Anyway, I’d like to propose a challenge to myself: to continue to show my husband love every day, but also to show myself love.

I don’t think it’ll be an easy challenge. It goes with the whole “my body, my temple” mantra I spouted early this year … a mantra that I haven’t always lived up to.

But I want to. “To thine own self be true.”

Everyone says when you learn to love yourself (esp. if you’re already eating well and exercising), the weight will fall off. Well, I won’t make my March weight goal, but I can make it a goal to show myself a little love each day regardless.

Savoring a piece of chocolate.

Strength-training because it makes me feel powerful, not killing myself on the Precor.

Indulging in a bubble bath, or getting a pedicure.

Reading a new chick-lit book even though it’s mindless.

Complimenting myself on something — maybe it’s a good hair day?

I have faith I can, and will, do it. It’s just doesn’t come naturally to me — it’s natural to me to do nice things for others, but not always for myself. That’s about to change.

I put my heart into so many things I do, and right now, I need to be a little “selfish.” I’m pretty sure my hubby won’t mind; he doesn’t understand why I don’t love myself the way he does!!

I love you, LRH πŸ™‚ And MBH, I love you too. (Um, yeah, that’s me).

How about you? Sure, you show your significant other love each day, but how can you show yourself love, too?

11 thoughts on “Love, Love … 365 Days a Year

  1. Our posts are very similar today πŸ™‚ I think the relationship with oneself is the most difficult and rewarding love you can get next to the unconditional love from a significant other or amazingly supportive family member. It’s a very important reminder, today and every day. You’re fabulous my dear!

  2. This post is SO true..and unfortunately, im the EXACT same way. I show so much unconditional love to others, but my love for myself is SO conditional..And it varies, literally, by the hour!

    I’m working hard to start loving myself,because Im finally beginning to realize that no one (other than family, of course!) can really truly love me, until I love myself. Some days are harder than others, and some days are really rewarding..and it really makes me want to push forward and continue with what Im doing.

    i’ve learned that just the littlest things can make scuh a difference. go for a car ride by yourself on a nice day, roll the windows down, and crank up your favorite songs & sing at the top of your lungs! i think it’s amazing love-yourself therapy πŸ™‚
    manicures, pedicures, tanning, strength training are all really good ideas too.

    fortunately for you, you HAVE that person. the person that knows that you DO love them unconditionally, and if he had to, he would probably go to hell and back just to make you happy and to help you learn to love yourself.

    I think the goal you set for yourself is excellent..and I wish you luck on the achieving it!!

  3. Great post! This is something I really need to focus on. I love doing little things for my boyfriend to show the love but I do not do enough for myself. Especially this past week! This weekend I will focus on me and finding the good in myself!

  4. ooh – excellent post! i’ll be sharing this with my girlfriends, too, since MOST women are awful about loving themselves enough.

    hope you get that dark chocolate πŸ™‚

  5. Amen ladies!! πŸ™‚ Let’s engage in a little self-love this weekend — do something nice for yourself, not just your family or your husband/BF/fiance.

  6. Love this post! I guess I never think conciously about loving myself, but you’re right, it’s important! I appreciate little things like sleeping in or doing a facial. Those things feel indulgent and I feel re-charged after.
    Thanks for your comment on my blog. Yeah, long-distance sucks! At least you are together now πŸ™‚ Hope ytou enjoy today and the weekend ahead!

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