Sometimes I feel like I have two personalities, even on my blog.
On the one hand, I started this blog to overcome disordered eating issues that arose after successful weight loss the healthy way (eating less, moving more)… And on the other hand, I’m trying to lose some weight I’ve gained, while keep my disordered eating behaviors in check. You can see how this could easily be viewed as having split personas.
I blog about both parts of my persona because they are related to one another, and because they feed off one another, for better or for worse.
Fortunately, I’ve been doing really well re: said disordered eating behaviors — no midnight eating, no chewing and spitting, and no emotional eating –especially since journaling on Sparkpeople. It’s like something clicked last week, and I know it’s not necessarily a permanent click, but in the meantime, it feels darn good.
But after reading a recent blog post by a favorite blogger of mine, it hit me that sometimes it seems with even the best of intentions, for every one step forward we as individuals might take, our society ends up a step back.
Case in point: MamaV over at MamaVision posted some super scary stats about the underground pro-ana movement.
I urge you to take a look at these stats she shares, the most frightening of all being that pro-ana Web sites have increased 470% from 2006 to 2007, according to Optenet.
Now, I admitted freely that until I met MamaV back in October at a Chicago blogger meet-and-greet that I had never heard the word “pro-ana,” and didn’t realize the proliferation of social networking sites that serve as “safe havens” for pro-ana groups.
I was truly, truly in the dark. It’s a world I don’t understand, and have trouble conceptualizing. I know it exists, but it isn’t part of my everyday world … yet it hurts me to read about or see the “thinspo” images.
Then I watched THIN, the HBO documentary.
And now seeing these latest stats, it’s just really hard to sit back and not do anything about this.
I have a HELP tab on my blog, and visitors do click it (this is something I care a great deal about)… but how can I know how many people are, truly, getting help for their ED, or are just clicking on it? How can I know who is looking for a loved one, or a friend, or themselves?
The truth is, I can’t track those things, even with the best analytics tools around.
I do hope that when people come to my site, it’s for inspiration and a place to feel welcome, a community of others who understand what these struggles are like. I don’t claim to know or understand the extremes (bulimia or anorexia) but I hope my readers know that I want to help, in whatever way I can.
As I said from the get-go of blogging, my goals are two-fold: to help myself on the road to recovery … and to help others along the way.
I truly just wish stuff like this wasn’t out there for public consumption, but it is. It can really mess with a mind, especially someone prone to peer pressure … but I do believe there are ways to get help, if someone is ready for it.
How about you? Has visiting a blog or Web site helped inspire you to seek help?(I don’t mean my blog specifically– I’m asking more generally, but if mine has helped you, of course, I’d love to know)