The Low-Down on Chewing-and-Spitting

So those of you following my blog know that chewing-and-spitting has been one of my two main disordered eating issues (along with midnight eating).

I know how gross it is, how sick it sounds, and how wrong it is. But many of us disordered eaters do it, I’m learning. And I’m not proud of it. It’s a waste of food, and a waste of the pleasure food can bring.

Fortunately, I’m working on it and making some progress. I am proud to say that I’ve been “sober” for six full days now, and it’s been hard at times, but I am coping.

As a good friend says, “I’m taking it one day at a time … ”

In comments on a previous post, Lila shared this link that I think does an excellent job of explaining what chewing-and-spitting entails and why it’s so dangerous.

Here’s some highlights (direct quotes from Trisha Gura, PhD.’s blog)

What is it?

“Chewing and spitting out food is an old eating-disordered behavior only now coming to light. It’s the latest trend in eating disorders, not because the behavior is new, rather because the online community is rapidly passing around the secret. The mechanism is simple: a person who chews and spits puts food in his or her mouth, tastes it, chews it and then spits it out without swallowing in the hopes of getting some enjoyment out of food, while not having to suffer the weight-gain consequences.”

Is it an eating disorder?

“Some experts say, yes. Others say, no. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition (DSM-IV) the proverbial Bible of psychiatric illness, does not list “spitting and chewing” as a separate, diagnosable eating disorder.

Yet, chewing and spitting is nonetheless part of the eating disorder landscape. That is because chewing and spitting is a misguided calorie-control technique, a “food issue.” Individuals with true eating disorders — anorexia, bulimia and eating-disorder-not-otherwise-specified – use the technique in a creative attempt to have one’s cake and eat it too. Sort of. ”

Is it harmful?

“Absolutely. Here are four good reasons:

1. A person who chews and spits is not allowing essential nutrients into the body. Therefore, the behavior is akin to starvation dieting and/or purging by vomiting.

2. Ulcers (because food in the mouth triggers acid release in the stomach) and jaw pain are possibly in store for regular chewers and spitters.

3. Weight gain, not weight loss is the most likely consequence. The body reacts in unforeseen ways to continual chewing and spitting. Seeing, smelling, hearing about and even the hint of food can trigger the release of insulin. This hormone regulates blood sugar and is a major player in diabetes. Tasting food releases salivary enzymes and also triggers the release of insulin. Excess insulin is a dieter’s worst nightmare, because the hormone stirs appetite, making a person feel hungrier, wanting to chew and spit more. Here lies the addiction to chewing and spitting, which like bingeing and purging can be daunting to try and quit. Heightened appetite also triggers eventual weight gain, something easily evidenced by simply reading the bloggers’ laments. If a person chews and spits long enough, they can fall into a state of hyper-insulinemia, producing too much insulin, which sets him or her up for insulin resistance, metabolic syndrome, and eventually diabetes.

4. Finally, a person who chews and spits is probably harboring deeper fears about his or her weight and body image. These fears– and all preoccupations with thinness and dieting– are the foundation of all eating disorders. If you chew and spit, you are setting yourself up for a serious disorder later in life.

Don’t wait for Chewing and Spitting to become an “official” eating disorder. If you’re chewing and spitting, get help now.”

Wow … in a nutshell, that sums up my experience with chewing-and-spitting.

How about you? If you were a former chewer-and-spitter, how did you stop?


92 thoughts on “The Low-Down on Chewing-and-Spitting

    1. I wanted to suggest a wonderful web site
      I tell you that’s the place you will get the right help.
      I was very sick at one time with Ed so I speak from my heart to yours, and I am pastor too!
      I once was model and the tricks of trade gave me the tools I needed to almost die, now I am recovered for 4 years and it’s here I found understand without judgement.
      I am now dealing with getting my teeth fixed from the pass walk with Ed. in Seattle WA, and The Center is in Edmonds, WA
      and I live in CA. but it’s worth it to get the right help and walk away from the lies I once believed.
      With Love and Prayer for you
      Pastor Rebecca

  1. I have suffered with eating disorders for 15 years. Recently I lost 40 lbs by working out and following an eat clean diet. I found this very hard as it required me to not eat any sugar or simple carbs. My eating disorder soon changed on me, and I became a chew and spitter. Now that we are trying to consume, I recently became diagnosed with PCOS. Im not sure if there is any connection, but prior to losing the weight, I was getting regular periods regardless of suffering from bulimia. Now that I am chewing and spitting, if I swallow any food, it triggers me to have a bulimic episode. This becomes a deadly cycle. I have been on the internet for 3 weeks now, trying to find help. I have found so many articles that tell me why chewing and spitting is bad, what it does to my body, what causes PCOS, and they all end with ” Get Help”. I would love to ” get help” but I dont know where to turn. I have a family doctor who is about 2 hrs away, so if she were to refer me to someone they would be too far away for me to regularly see them. I don’t know what to do. Im tired of hearing/ reading “Get Help”. I want help, and i dont know where else to turn and Im starting to feel hopeless and very depressed. Any and all information would be greatly appreciated.- please note I live in Ontario Canada. thanks.

    1. Hello Sarah,
      Your post interrested me quite a bit because I am also unfortunately stuck in a similar dilemma. I was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa a few years ago, and fortunately have gotten better since then. But along with stress, anxieties and just the craziness of life, I found myself turning to restriction for “control” which leads to binging and then purging and then chewing and spitting, and ughh it’s just an endless cycle of doom!!!
      Especially being out of hospital and without any outside medical support has turned out to be incredibly difficult. It’s so hard to make positive changes when you have this ill voice in your head telling you negative thoughts, without another positive voice to override it.
      So basically, I do not want to fall back into old habits and like you said, I WANT HELP!
      Im not sure where abouts in Ontario you live, but there are usually local eating disorder clinics, perhaps at your nearest hospital. They have specialized people who know what you are dealing with, so that you arnt stuck with a family doctor that doesnt completely understand. I must warn you, I am not an expert, and I am not 100% sure what to do myself, I simply am a sufferer of the illness and trying to help someone else in need.
      I also found that having a nutritionist around to help keep track of what I should be eating to be healthy, really helps kick those bad thought out of my head, because I know that I am eating what I should be eating.
      Anyways, I apoligize for my rambling, and I hope any of it made sense or even helped in any way. Best of luck to you, and stay beautiful and strong, you can beat this!

      1. I am blown away to realize how many people exist with this disorder. I have been chewing and spitting for 10 years. As long as I am busy in my day, it doesn’t bother me but if I have idle time and privacy, I will chew and spit almost anything.

        The downside is, it began to decay my teeth and ultimately was the cause of complete tooth loss and the wearing of dentures.

        I simply do not seek help because I do not want it. I simply had to express my surprise with how many other people are doing this when I thought I was so in the closet and almost alone.

        The truth is, we are never alone. There is always someone else in the world with strange behaviors and I wish everyone well on the road to recovery.

  2. haha, clearly i cant spell right when im emotional and writing, what I meant by consume was consumate- have a child.

  3. and to clarify, I eat the food on my plan, but if i eat anything off it, thats what triggers me to chew- spit- then purge. Typically if I eat off my plan its high glycemic foods, simple carbs, and seriously highly sugary foods in large quantities.

  4. Hi Sarah and thanks for writing. Congrats on losing weight the healthy way, and lord knows we all can relate to the troubles that follow! Perhaps you’re being too strict with yourslef… I’ve never experienced anorexia or bulimia, and I’m not qualified to give advice in any sense … but I will say that it does sound like you could benefit from counseling as well as maybe nutritional counseling — especially if you’re looking to start a family. Can you find a new doctor closer to you? It sounds like you’d benefit greatly from having someone to talk to … I hate to repeat what everyone else has told you, but “Get Help” seems to be the best solution … good luck!!!


  5. wow, i’m actually surprised to see chewing and spitting getting spread around online, since it’s still more or less stuffed into anorexia nervosa in the DMSIV…
    I’m a chewer&spitter, have been for almost a year now. i can totally understand how difficult it can be to quit, although i have outstanding self-control in most occasions, and although i am a med student. I know exactly what i’m doing to myself, and i understand the dangers scientifically and elaborately. the problem with this disorder is that it’s like a breakup: reason does not bring action, just like when you reasonably admit breaking up is helpful but can’t stop feeling hurt. i haven’t sought out help yet because i can’t let this disorder ruin my studies…and i’m still hoping i’ll eventually get rid of it, haha.

  6. Hi Jasmine, yea, I didn’t know anyone but me did it (and in the past three months, I’ve done it maybe three times?!) Anyway, I wish you well in med school as well as overcoming this nasty habit we want to break. For me, I learned it’s tied to anxiety – and when I can pinpoint the WHY it helps. Sometimes!

  7. I have been struggling with chewing and spitting for 26 years. I have been up and down the scale, and in and out of eating disorder treatment facilities. I have false teeth now, a direct result of disordered eating. I hope anyone reading this, who hasn’t gotten help…will get some help soon.

  8. Thanks, Dave. This is something I still struggle with … me, and many others. I thought I was alone; that I was the only one who did this grotesque thing. Nope … sadly, nope.

  9. Hi, I deffinatly suffer with C/S.. We’re in this battle together! … I have some Advise, as boaring as it sounds, whenever i get the cravings to C/S I drink a bottle of water.. by the time i finish the bottle of water Im not thinking of C/S anything. I also feel that C/S causes weight gain.. The mouth has a lot of open receptors in it, which sugar can be absorbed into the body. Just remember every women at some point in their life will have disorderd eating, be happy with youself at whatever weight, enjoy Life, and together Lets fight this Gross habit!!!

  10. Hi Amy and thank you … I am going to try to remember that about the water. It is a gross habit and I know for me it’s anxiety-driven. Sigh …

  11. I’ve been chewing and spitting everyday for a few months now (as the newest part in my long lasting problem with eating disorders) and have just decided to research it to see if it is a common problem among others with eating disorders. Never having heard about it before, I was shocked at how much information I found on it. It is a great sense of comfort to know that I am not alone in this. It is also shocking to see its effects, wich I did not realize. Maybe this can help me to stop or at least cut back on this destructive behavior.

  12. It’s such a terrible, secretive habit, isn’t it, Christine?! You CAN beat it though. I did!! Well, four months sober now 🙂

  13. I originally started off with Binge Eating Disorder, which turned into chewing and spitting. It hasn’t helped me lose weight nor gain weight. I have a very strong stomach, so the acid hasn’t really effected me, but my sister who does this regularly as well has had horrible episodes of too much acid in the stomach. It’s a shame that I can’t just eat when I’m hungry, stop when I’m full. It’s a nightmare.

  14. Hi Taylor — I soooo can feel you. I hope you can stop the ugly behavior, too–you’re worth it!

  15. Hello, everyone, as many of you I’ve been dealing with eating disorders for a while now…my weight is healthy right now, and I was perfectly happy a few months ago…I mean I used to have perfect control of my eating habits and I am likely to enjoy health foods, fortunately….until I found chew and spit…it’s really not worth it, it’s obssessive, it’s compulsive….I’ve just had an emotional rollercoster moment….because of stress at work…and C and S became my new “best friend”, once everything was over…I ended up with a LOT of weight gain..and I noticed that it was almost impossible for me to quit de C and S, so here I am…wondering why If I eat hardly anything, and C and S, a LOT, why do I keep gaining weight…it’s horrible, and totally worthless… I woke up today and decided to put an end to it…and well, I didn’t do it today….which is change since I’d been doing it daily almost all the time…
    I’m so unhappy at my current weight…I just hope that quitting this horrible habit will help me lose the pounds thay I gained…hope so really…I’m just so depressed right now.

  16. Hi Violeta — “perfect control” is how c/s started for me … I am so sorry you’re dealing with it, too. It’s awful but you CAN stop. You’re probably gaining b/c when you c/s, calories still get ingested and you’re fooling your body into thinking it’s eating. Scientific reasons I can’t explain, but that exist..Good for you ending it. That’s how I had to stop, too … JUST SAY NO. Choose pride over guilt. Food over famine. I do have some HELP options on my blog, but c/s seems to be one of those ED-NOS … not much talked about but real. Best wishes!

  17. I just wanted to recommend a good book called “Appetites” by Caroline Knapp. It isn’t about chewing and spitting specifically but is written by someone who suffered from anorexia nervosa and other weight struggles. I could really relate and I’m sure other women/girls’ stories are in there too.

  18. HI, im 15, and ive been doing this for a very long time now. Ive had an eating disorder for 4 years now, and last year when i discovered this trick, i thought i was on top of the world. At first i lost weight and loved it. I started chewing and spitting everything i could get my hands on and spending all my moneyon food i could never eat before! It took over my life, i would no longer go out with friends because i wanted to stay at home to chew and spit. I then started to gain weight and got really scared. I researched it and found out that it can cause insulin resistance, which i now think i have. I know i have to stop but i cant, its to hard and im by myself recovering. I dont know what to do anymore. I just want to stop this life consuming habait and be able to lose weight normally again, like everyone else. I want to be normal more than anything else in the world. I have no one to turn to and im really scared that i might not be able to stop this.

  19. Thank god. I thought I was going nuts. I never knew that anybody else chewed up and spat out food. I am 19 years old, and scince I was 16 I have had some form of eating diorder, whether bulimia, anorexia – I never knew this was an eating disorder. I am so relieved that other people know what it is.
    Its ruined my life. My parents have tried deserately to help but I cant seem to stop, my sister doesnt talk to me and Im isolated form my friends as Im afraid that if i eat in front of them i will get an urge to spit out my food. Im wasting my money and my time. But I cant seem to stop.
    Please can anybody reccomend anything??

    1. Im going through the same kind of thing. Im 14, and my mom used to be supportive in trying to get me to stop but now she is FORCING me. i dont know how this will work…my parents are constantly watching me. and its pretty much ruined my relationship with them. I spend tons of money on strawberry twinkies, reeses, cosmic brownies, oreos, chips, etc. I reallllyyy dont know what to do:/ but im happy im not the only one.

  20. Please see the HELP tab…no one should go through this alone, ladies…you are worth it! It’s such a lonely, sad, behavior–and an anxious one, at that. You’re worth getting help!

  21. HI,
    I have been chewing and spitting for the past several months. Probably since June. I don’t really know how it all started. Once day, I just decided to try this new ice cream and WHAM, I started chewing and spitting it every weekend….I can go all week without it and I am fine…don’t even think about it that much, but then the weekend comes and I want to do it. I also notice after a bad day or when I feel I am “lost” with all the things inlife, this is an outlet that I control. I decide what I chew and spit….I know crazy, right. So, last week I started to research it, b/c I have gained almost 10 pounds in that 5 months period and I exercise actively, twice a day and weight train 5 days a week. I am in pretty good shape. I run a half marathon this weekend, so I don’t NEED to do this, and I would love to chat with someone about it. I did not do it this weekend, which was big for me. But, I want to today….just as a last hoorah, but isn’t everytime a last hoorah….kind of like starting a diet…..Today is the day and then it isn’t….so, Please let me know your thoughts! 🙂

  22. I too have had this disorder for over 3 years on and off. If I could tell myself then YOU WILL GAIN ALOT OF WEIGHT, I would have. I didn’t believe it, because AT FIRST YOU LOSE WEIGHT. From 2007-2008 I could start and stop for a couple weeks. however, August 2008 I would do it everyday at the end of my day. I have only been able to go 5 days without doing it. I have gained 25 lbs because of this, which is crazy because I eat less, workout more, but it must be the insulin overload which turns to fat. I quit smoking cold turkey 4 years ago, and I can’t quit this. It feels like a drug because its a sugar/carb addiction. I have tried a journal and carrying skinny pictures of me–that worked for those 5 days. Then my husband left for a weekend, I was alone and excited to get that “high” and started it again. Boredom and anxiety seems to cause it. If anyone has successfully stopped this, I would love any ideas. I wake up each day, face, bottom and stomach swollen, and swear C/S off forever. At about 5:00 pm everyday, I get this urge and run to store or order food. It’s an obsession which no one knows about. I used to be social and love life, but this takes over. Its a vicious circle, because the more weight I gain, I don’t want people to notice me or talk about me, so I c/s due to anxiety. Is there a website or board for us? I don’t know what else to do except get professional help. This is truly depressing to see my body morph into the exact opposite of what I stand for. I workout everyday, eat “clean foods”, can give anyone advice about lifting and nutrition, an althete, etc. When I’m alone, however, this takes over. It’s embarrassing and I’m sure people look at me and think “how can she work out so much, eat healthy, and keep gaining weight?”. If I could give myself advice back then, I would stay stop. This is an addictions worse than smoking, and the weight gain WILL come. There is no way you will lose weight. The insulin overload turns into fat in your body!
    Thank you for reading.

  23. I can’t even begin to tell you all what a wake-up call this is for me. It’s early Christmas morning, and instead of choosing to be with friends, I had a feeling I needed to stay in tonight. Little did I know how importance this decision would be.

    Long story short, I began C/S (ha ha, the name is quite catchy, lol) about 5 years ago, and I too, thought I discovered one of the greatest secrets ever to maintain my weight. Well, I’m not gonna lie…it’s maintained it alright. The rouble is that I had no idea it would prevent me to lose it.

    Recently I’ve begun a new training program. Although it’s working, I know deep inside that I can get results much faster if I can just stop C/S for good. There’s nothing worse than building all of this beautiful muscle, only for it to be hidden under a layer of fat.

    Yesterday I faced reality. I’d be wondering why I have such a hard time processing carbs. I decided to pick up a blood glucose monitor (And to my delight, it’s free with mail-in rebate. Perfect timing? Yes. Coincidence? No.) Although I am afraid of needles, I somehow manifested the balls to lance my finger. 108 was my reading. The booklet claimed this was normal, but after a little research, h to the l to the no. I tried it again tonight after C/S on brownie mix. 110. My mind is officially blown.

    So here it is. You all have inspired me to quit cold turkey. There really isn’t any other way to do this. I’ll be damned if I bust my ass even one more day in the gym to not see anticipated results.

    Thank you all for your honesty. This is the first time in a while the internet has been truly useful to me. It’s means the world.

    Merry Christmas everyone. I will post back on here in a few days (or less) to keep you informed of my progress.

  24. Ok, I’m back already to confess that this is not easy. I swear, the more you forbid yourself something, the more you want it.

    I did well this morning, mainly because I had something to do (Christmas with the family, and I was perfectly content with my low-carb, protein rich salad). I was even fine in the car (I often do it there as well. This I think I can stop because although it’s not messy, I have dropped a crumb here and there, and it’s pissing me off!). The problem didn’t occur until I got home.

    Ok, here comes the sick, but interesting part. I’m really liking the brutal honesty of gluclose testing. This morning my fasting glucose was 88. When I got home I had some more of my salad and it was 83 – I admit I was a bit tired. After starting the laundry, I sat down at my computer, and it hit me – BINGE!!! I threw out almost everything, but there was still chicken noodle soup. C/S…right afterwards, I checked my bg..99 : – ( I felt AWFUL. It almost makes sense. That stuff is crap in a can that easily could have seeped through my pores.

    Afterwards I gulped some cinnimon and gynema sylvestra (bg lowering herbs) and proceeded to play it safer with brown rice. Ha. Who else binges on rice? After C/S a cup or so, my bg was lowered to 96.

    Well, I’m still chowing on rice, and god knows if the bg went up again, but at least it’s some discipline. I didn’t spend any money today on C/S, so that alone is an accomplishment.

    I really hope this helps someone not feel so alone in the near future, but even if no one else posts, I thank Melissa for giving us the outlet to post EXACTLY how we feel. Thanks for giving me a diary.

  25. Hi. I sometimes Chew and Spit (never around people). I don’t consider myself to have an eating disorder. I eat very clean and healthy. Mostly fish and veggies and fruits with lots of water and the occasional zevia soda. Yes, it’s pretty simple. The reason I eat this way is more because I found out I’m gluten-intolerant and eating most foods causes intense pain and intestinal issues for me. So not worth it! However, sometimes I really crave pizza or some type of bread. I’m lactose-intolerant too which makes selections even more slim. The “substitutes” for these foods for gluten-intolerant people are discusting tasting, in my opinion. Therefore, every once in a while, I will eat a pizza or some bread product, chew it and spit it out. For me it helps get rid of my craving and I don’t have to have the painful consequences.

    I can see how this could become a bad habit that borders on an eating disorder. I only do it every few months or so, but if it were a daily thing, that would be very unhealthy. I think this behavior being considered bad depends on the reason people are doing it, the frequency and whether they eat healthy and have a healthy body image etc.

    1. Kelly, it can definitely get bad … it’s an anxious behavior, and there’s usually something behind it. It sounds like in your case it’s as a substitute — but be careful because it can get very outta control. Trust me, I know!

  26. Does anyone know (apart from drinking water) How you can distract yourself from chewing and spitting.

    I’m trying to help a friend overcome this problem, i will also suggest to her to see a therapist because they should know about this. (and if she wants to get better then they can help her)

    So are there any other way’s?

  27. Hey Melissa – thanks for the support.

    Ok people, let me tell you…although this is self-destructive behavior, I will be honest. C/S is not something that I want to give up. If it weren’t affecting my insulin levels, I’d be able to deal with thte financial consequences. I don’t smoke, drink, or do drugs, and my eating is super clean, nutritious and healthy. However, after many more blood tests, since I’ve last posted, I will confirm that iwhat you’ve heard is true. Carbohydrate absorbsion definately begins in the mouth. The only way to chew and spit without affecting insulin levels, is to C/S low carb meals. Now much fun.

    So with that said, I am trasitioning by using this method. And let me tell you, it can get waaay expensive. I’m hoping that eventually, I’ll be so sick of low-carb that I stop C/S completely.

    Once again, I don’t mean to replace professional help with substitutes, but this is how I’m choosing to cope. I’ve been a C/S user for 5 years. It is the only thing I can turn to when no one is around. I think everyone needs to develop their own method to quit. For instance, as much as I love masterbation, I’m sorry to say that it will never satisfy me the way food does. A man that I love and that I’m sexually attracted to however…my my….would you believe that is the one time when I COMPLETELY lose my appetite? I used to get so excited before getting laid. But, I am choosing to currently be sexually inactive because it’s just way too dangerous out there. So, the lesson learned here is that having a companion may help, but you have to help yourself first. I’m sure most of you know this, but I can’t emphasize it enough.

    Hope you all didn’t mind the rant. I’m just speaking the truth. Perhaps some can relate to that whole sex thing, lol.

    If I weren’t always working out and eating right, this disorder would probably

  28. Man, I thought you could edit these things. I apologize for the grammar errors, and espcially that misplaced phrase at the end of my post.

    Well, I guess this is also a good opportunity to wish everyone a Happy New Year. Be safe everyone!

  29. Happy New Year kids! I’m back for my daily confession. I must say, this really is perfect timing for a New Year’s resolution. I am truly feeling empowered by not C/S, and my body (not to mention my pancreas) no longer hates me.

    After only a week, my body looks signifigantly tighter. The main reason is that I’ve been on a dancing rampage, but normally, I feel puffy within a couple of days. Now however, I’m eating more than ever (still low-carb), but I look so darn cut.

    Also, did I mention I must’ve saved about $50 over the past four days? The only thing I splurged on was cheese, unsweetened chocolate, and whip cream. You bet I C/Sed them, but I had much more control than with carbs, and of course, my blood sugar was not affected.

    Gonna hit the bed. Here’s to us all striving to get better, day by day my friends…

  30. I am hoping that some of the comments in this article will help me get through my next few days. I have been doing this for about 4 years now. It all started back in Spring 2005 when I started to lose a bunch of weight. I had never been overweight before… on the contrary, I had always been super skinny. So when I put on 15lbs and all of the sudden I looked and felt thick, I freaked. I lost weight the right way- great exercise and a healthy, healthy diet. The weight started shredding off. But I started to notice that the less I ate, the less I weighed. And all of the sudden, it became a game. How little did I have to eat to maintain the right amount of energy to study ( i was in college), workout, etc. This is where the chew-spitting snuck in. I would chew up a little more than I felt like I was suppsoed to be eating and the guilt made me spit it out. The worst part about this…. it was decent, healthy food I would C/S. Figs, carrot sticks, apple, nectarines, etc. Anything not to consume a few extra calories. For a long time, I never ever gained any weight. A matter of fact at my lowest, I was 113lbs. and 5’10”. NOW… that was way too low, but you see where I am going with this.

    Then I started mixing in sugary things and bad carbs and badda bing badda boom- I put that 15lbs right back on and then some. My mom noticed my rapid weight gain and I confessed to my disorder. And I gave it up for a whole summer. It wasn’t until I returned to school the next fall and went through too much stress that I diverted back to my comfort: C/S. I felt like such a failure. Still do to this day. I have never lost that weight. I have had periods of time where I was giving up C/S and starting to lose it, but then I slip and fall right back into it. I hate it. I wish I was monitored 24/7 so I could never do it. I want to beat it and say that I am done with it forever.

    I was happy when I was skinny. Even when I was too skinny. Being thin does not make me who I am, but it is a part of me. I feel my best and most comfortable in my own skin when I am thin. I guess that’s just me though. Tomorrow, on Valentine’s Day 2010, I am going to recommitt to loving myself and my body and not C/S-ing anymore.

    I don’t want to be one of those people who looks back in 30 years, with false teeth, mouth problems, ulcers in the stomach, etc. and ask myself, Why? Why did you have such an obsession with food that you harmed yourself like that. Clearly, my emotional problems with food are not just with food… food is most likely a surface coverup for whatever else is bothering me. I’ve been through quite a lot in my 20+ years of life already, so I can imagine it’s any number of things, but I’ve got to get to the root of the problem so that I am eating the food, and not letting the food eat me, if you well.

    Thank you for allowing me to post this and share. I know God can and will heal me of this. I plan on running to Him when I need strength. I think I will try the water thing too for the next few days.

    God bless everyone and thank you again for allowing me to share.

  31. Itried the chewing and spitting thing, but it was such a waste of food. I instead tried to eat healthier foods that I would not feel guilty about.

  32. Oh my goodness. I have been c/s for over 10 years now. So sad. SO many ulcers, dental implants, weight gain. It’s NOT worth it, but it really addictive. I even went to treatment for it and stopped for months and then stress and anxiety brought it all back. Now, I struggle with it every day. I currently have a horribly painful ulcer and am holding on to an extra 15 lbs. I feel for anyone who is addicted to C/S. I haven’t monitored my glucose, but will go out tomorrow to get something I’m sure. It is tied to anxiety. I am a totally anxious person, and suffer from panic attacks on occasion. The only thing I can say if you do it already is…it’s possible to stop…we just need to find better coping mechanisms for stress. My heart goes out to all women who struggle with body image. Why can’t we just love ourselves AND enjoy eating food that tastes good???!!

  33. I have been c/s for years now. I feel bloated and broke all the time. I lost weight initiallly but now I am gaining. I do it every day and am so sneaky with it. Noone knows I do it. My mum found out about 6 years ago but she thinks I am fine now. I can’t tell her. I have decided several times over the years that I will stop and never have. Truth is I enjoy it. But now I really really really want to stop as I think it is turining me into a basket case. The way I feel when I know I don’t have anything in the house to c/s later is frustrated, irritable and very very fidgety. And those feelings make me go to the shop (even in the middle of the night) and buy loads of rubbish to c/s. I have to admit I was not aware of the insulin thing – I’m hoping that if I keep reminding myself of this and also of the fact that this habit is causing me to gain weight- that I will be stronger and more able to stop. However just the thought of it is making me feel restless and I’m getting the feeling I get when I look forward to c/s. I want this to be over, I really can’t take it anymore. Any tips for quitting, distracting myself…please help I’m so miserable 😦

  34. To the people who always bring up starving people in Africa. What you say makes no sense, it’s still a waste of food even if we swallow it as it will just turn into useless fat, only along with the fat it will give us high blood pressure, joint problems, diabetes and many other health issues. If you are going to use the ‘people are starving’ line, then say it to everyone, anybody who has extra weight on them because they are wasting food also. At least people who spit can somewhat avoid the health issues of obesity as more than 50% of us have now. Next time you eat more than a handful of food, you think about how ‘you’re’ wasting food, and stop worrying about other people and making ignorant comments on web sites.

  35. I have been C/S for 9 or 10 years. Last spring I made the decision that I wanted to be as healthy as I could be- I told my then BF ( now fiance) about my problem- he was so supportive and understanding-a huge motivation for me- i was “sober” for approx. 4 months and then little by little it started to creep back into my life- i decided to talk to him about it this past December and things were good- i hadn’t done it for about 3 months until recently. For the past two weeks i have found myself falling back into a trap –
    My goal is to be losing weight and have a healthy mindset about food- I dont want to to risk becoming a diabetic- is it already too late? Have I alreay dont too much insulin damage to my body? How can this be reversed? I believe in myself- I have faith I can be healthy.

  36. STOP THE C/S!!!!!!


  37. I have had an eating disorder my whole life. It started back in grade school and continued through high school and even college. The bulimia became so bad that I had to have surgery for my esophagus and later went into treatment. I soon picked up this habit as a weigh to taste the junk but not carry the weight. I’m so glad I decided to google c/s and see that I’m not alone. Since reading that it is very dangerous and can lead to diabetes. I stopped last night. I will take it one day at time but I plan never to do it again. Thank you ladies for being so honest and letting me know that I am not alone. To the world I look thin and fit but to me I feel like a mess.

  38. I am so thankful to have found this site. I’ve been unable to stop C/S for over 4 years, on and off more like 6 years. It has gotten so out of control. I wake up every day saying this is the day I’m gonna stop but come night-time, all my good intentions are out the window. It’s like a monster takes over my rational brain and I don’t care anymore, I just want to C/S and that’s all I care about. I don’t know how to stop. I think just reading these messages is going to help me so much on my journey of recovery. Knowing I’m not alone, and knowing all the health risks, and just sick of feeling so ashamed and bad about myself. I want to feel good about myself and wake up feeling healthy, and if I keep with the C/S, that will never happen. So I’m stating it to you all now that I’m committed to being healthy again and treating my body with love. Thanks again to all of you for your courage and honesty.

  39. As a parent of a daughter that chews and spits, I do not know what to do or say. Should I cut back on her money so that she will have less to spend or will she use the money she has to buy the food to chew and spit rather than the fruits and vegies that she does eat? She does go to a therapist at the present time but is wanting to quit and because of her age I can not make her or get any information from the doctor and she has just started taking medicine for anxiety. Any advice for a family member?

    1. I’m glad that you’re at least looking to help your daughter. My mom is my best friend but when I told her about this, she flipped out on me (which btw, does NOT help the situation when dealing with an ED). She thinks I haven’t done it in ike 1.5 years and lying to her is next-to-killing me, but I just will NOT tell her. This is my burden to deal with.

      As far as helping your little girl, just stay consistent. I wanted nothing more than to have my mom help me through it. Check in on my daily and see how my progress was going. Talk to me about why I was doing it… that REALLY helps. She might just start talking and something will come out and it can really help to alleviate carrying that information all to herself.

      Continue to be supportive of her, through all her times, which I know- I know can be trying for you, but don’t give up on her. She can beat this. We all can, it’s just a matter of getting there. I mean the girl who writes this blog has been free of it for almost 2years. That’s motivation, right?

  40. My friend sent me a link to this blog because she’s worried about me. I don’t really think I have an eating disorder or anything. I’ve got PCOS and am on a very low calorie diet (700 calories a day) under the orders of my doctor. Apparently, my PCOS is insulin resistant and the only way to go into “remission” is to lose 10% of my body weight. I don’t know if you realize how little food that is, but it’s pretty difficult. I’ve been on it for 3 months now and have lost 33 pounds. However, there have been several times (it’s not daily or even weekly) that I’ve just wanted to eat a cupcake or a cookie. I chew it up and spit it out. It’s really pretty infrequent. Do you think that it’s a problem?? I’m confused.

  41. Started c&S in the 70’s and just quit a couple years ago. It kept my weight about 30 lbs above normal after the first year or two and I didn’t realze that was the problem until a few years ago when I finally read something about c & s online. I thought I was the only one who did this and that I was very clever. Glad there is more information out there now. I wonder what permanent damage I’ve done to my endocrine system- any references?

  42. As much as I’m sad other people suffer from this, I’m glad I’m not alone.

    I have always had a messed up relationship with food, but never a full blown ED. I had put on a lot of weight due to medication, and at the start of last year, after coming off the medication, started to lose weight, but reverted back to teenage habits of heavily restricting. Yes, I lost weight, but I also started chewing and spitting around mid 2009. Started as an occassional, moutful of icecream type thing, to now. I do it every day, on the weekend I’ll do it all day, weeknights as soon as I finish work I head to the grocery store. Probably spending around $300 a week on food just to chew and spit.
    Medically – I have started to put back on the weight I lost. I have low Iron and Vitamin B, because I never eat proper meals, teeth problems (probably due to the insane amount of sugary foods I’m constantly chewing on).
    It’s controlling my life, I never want to go out at night because all I want to do is chew and spit. I had a friend stay for about 3 days last year and couldn’t stand the fact I couldn’t chew and spit for those 3 days.

    I actually see a psychiatrist for depression, but I think this is such as disgusting habit/disorder I don’t want to bring it up. I am a university lecturer, I feel like this isn’t something that should be affecting me. (Obviously it shoudln’t affect anyone, but hopefully you know what I mean).

  43. This was totally helpful. I’ve been struggling with this since I stopped throwing up and it’s causing me the worst anxiety I’ve ever had in my life. Do you guys who have stopped have any tips? I’ve made the decision to stop as of now. I want to tell my boyfriend but I’m afraid of what he’d think even though he was bulimic himself…

    this disorder is so embarrassingly gross, when you really think about it….
    It helps to know it’s possible to make it out okay. Thanks you guys.

  44. Thank God I’m not the only one! I have been struggling with this issue for 6-7 years and it’s only gotten worse over the past 2 years. Every day I think ‘today is the day I’m going to STOP’ and five minutes later I’m doing it again. For me, it’s about controlling my weight…at least that’s what I tell myself. I know, however, my hatred of eating and the self loathing I feel when I consume food, is what’s at the bottom of it. I watch every show imaginable on Food Network and eat vicariously through those shows, but feel such immense guilt whenever I swallow my food, thinking I will gain weight. If someone walks in the room when I’m about to spit out food and I have to swallow it, I’m beside myself. I know the money I waste and how unhealthy it is, but I have not been able to stop. I guess I will just keep trying, but it helps to see others who have struggled with this and won. I never thought it was a disorder, but clearly it is. For some it might be one day at a time, but for me…it’s one minute at a time. And it sucks.

  45. I did this for the first time tonight and I just couldn’t stop! Cheetos, cookies, Lays, cashews, choco chips… I stuffed my face with everything I wanted. And then promptly spit it out. What are the consequences of doing this once in a while? I’ve never had an ED, I’m just trying to eat healthier and lose a few pounds. I love food, I am a huge foodie. Is it okay to do this once in a while??? I miss my sugary sweets and this seems to be the only way to get them.

  46. I put my name at #44 b/c that was the number of my last comment on this site. I am back and I need help. I have no one to go to, so I figure that I would just put this all out there to the girls on this site. February 14, 2010 was my first (and only other comment), but I am sad to say that I didn’t follow through my plan of giving it up for Valentine’s Day as a way of showing love to myself. In fact, most of this year has been quite the struggle. The only positive thing I will say is that there were 2 weeks, 1 in October and 1 in November that I was able to stop and didn’t do any C/S.

    What do I do? How do I stop this? It’s literally taking my life away from me… I can’t lose weight and I know that THIS, this awful, wretched, twisted E/D is the culprit. I don’t even C/S sugary or salt carbs anymore… now it’s just things like raisins and nuts (walnuts, almonds) or sunflower seeds. I don’t C/S bad food anymore… now I’m doing it to healthy food! I still eat healthy too, I just C/S other healthy foods when I am still hungry, but know that caloric wise, I’ve eaten enough food.

    When I am thin and in shape, I have more confidence and I’m happier and I am me. This girl who C/S’… this is not me. I feel like I am losing who I want to be and I can’t get a grip.

    Please help.. a little inspiration, anything…

    1. I’ve been dieting excessively since I was little and have always had a fixiation with being thinner. I was always at a healthy weight, but this was not good enough for me. This turned into bulimia when I was 19. I finally broke this habit after 4 years, but moved onto CS shortly after. I have been dealing with this for a few years now. I know its bad, but when I get stressed out…I stress eat. Usually PB or something sugary. I stopped for months at a time, but I can’t seem to make this a long term commitment. This is insane I do this, because I am so concerned with health! I am a rawfoodist/ vegan, and also a personal trainer. I feel like its affecting my career, because I have gained 15 pounds from this, and can’t take it off to save my life, now I understand why. I decided today is the day I will no longer do this!! I am thankful for this site, because we have some sort of accountability. That is what I desperatly need, because I hold things in..and I would never tell friends or family that I do this. A book that helped me to stop the first time was The Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz ( I should probably read this again!) I recommend this to anyone who is dealing with eating disorders or self esteem issues. I’m glad I can spill my guts on here! Wish me luck and I will keep you all updated.

      1. I am in the same boat as you. When I read this I almost felt like it was me! Let me know if you would like to chat more. Maybe we can beat this together!

  47. yo tengo este problema de masticar y escupir
    loago con lo primaro que encuentre…… ya estoy arta de esconderme para hacerlo….. y tengo que echar la comida desperdisiada en la basur. abriendo tantas personas sin alimentoy yo nadamas masticandolo. dogoya noloare y lo sigo asiendo esto es adictivoooooooo…. me dadaocuenta que esubido de peso.. ya quiero disfrutar la comida y no tirarlay no escondermepara hacerlo. yo recuerodo.. qe esta forma de sastifarcermme la encontre cuando tenia un antojo deun chocolate uqe me regalaron y lometi en mi boca y dije ay no me ban asalir granos y lo es cupi y asi le sigi…. y tambien con las galletas

  48. okay ladies, I am 52 years old and have been a serious c/s since college. I thought I was the only person in the world with this gross disgusting problem. I developed anorexia at age 20, got scary skinny, and gained some of it back but then went into variou s episodes of anorexia/bulimia and then discovered c/s…wow, how wonderful, fake-eating anything I want, mmmm, anything, from pizza to christmas cookies. All in secret, hidden from eveyone. I have never gotten caught….not through two marriages and now in a wonderful relationship for 4 years. He doesn’t know.Nobody knows, but my dentist probably suspects. I told them I had been bulimic in the past and he said it’s the gift that keep on giving because once you lose your enamel, it’s gone and the erosion never stops. I have crowns throughout my mouth, even my two front teeth, but thank GOD the c/s syndrome didn’t affect my heart or my organs, well—I don’t THINK it did. I had a hysterectomy two years ago–doc found pre-cancerous cells. I am also always feeling bloated and can’t shake this damn ten pounds. NOW I KNOW WHY!!! I googled chew spitting and good Lord, I am not alone and I want to tell you all I STOPPED YESTERDAY. I pulled all my secret junk food out of my work purse and tossed it. Drank water, ate healthy food all day and already I feel better. Hearing what this stupid habit really does to you scared me a lot. So, I thank you all from the bottom of my heart. I am taking one day at a time. Today, so badly, I wanted to c/s a donut or two, and some valentine’s cookies a co-worker brought in, but I was strong and I did not do it. I drank water, was so good. Right now my stomach is growling–for the first time in years!!! I cannot be messing around–my poor beloved late father died of complications from diabetes. My brother has it. So far I am fine. I work out like a maniac every day, am a competitive swimmer, all these years I have hidden this grossness, and for what!!! I could have been thin and healthy all along. I could have spent the money I spent on crowns for new clothes, or to donate to the Humane Society, anything but junk food and misery. But I need some help coping, getting through every day. Will I gain weight by eating normal now and no c/s?? Can I have a glass of wine at night and not worry it’s going to make my jeans tight? I am 5’5″ and hover between 120 and 128 on any given day. Not skinny but not fat. I want to lose fifteen pounds and keep it off without doing stupid c/s stuff.

  49. I have been c/s for the past 6 months every day. it’s not even about dieting anymore. its like smoking a cigarette or something, relieves pain, boredom, anxiety. sugary salty anything really. bags of cookies, cookie dough, pizza, etc.

    Does anyone know a way to stop?? I just cant stop.

  50. I come on here often to see if anyone will share there stories and I have read them all to know that I do not feel alone either. I have been c/s for quite a while. Back in 2009, it seemed the only coping mechnism for me. It started once every once in a while…always the same thing. A galloon of ice cream. Then it went to two gallons once a week, then twice a week, all the way to every day. Not only is it a waste of money but I felt like poo. I am a personal trainer and I want to live to be 100 years old and here i sit infecting my body with sugar and sludge. So, finally after gaining almost 20 pounds and almost 5 months later I decided to stop. Cold turkey and did awesome for almost an entire year. But in October of last year I started again. It was not bad at all. Once a month, but lately it has been every other day or even once a week, but it is still ice cream and now Hersheys Cookies and Cream chocolate bars. I don’t feel better when I do this, so why do I do it? I think for lack of self esteem. I would love to have a support system. Someone to bounce off of to break this horrible habit. Someone to hold ME and THEM accountable. Let me know if anyone wants to try.

    1. Lex,
      I think I could use your support. Goodness, your post is dated last year. I want to stop so bad but so far, I have not been able to. It all started with some M&M’s when I was in my 20’s. I am now almost 57. The time to stop should have been a long long time ago.
      I just threw out some flour and I have two bags of sugar that needs to go. I am doing Atkins now, so I have mostly healthy foods in my house, but I always manage a way to c/s. I want to stop, TODAY!
      I wonder how you are doing…..
      I didn’t realize so many others do this…. we all seem to feel each others pain.

  51. So, I have been recently researching “c & s” because it is an old and scattered habit of mine that I have noticed has been showing up in my eating patterns more and more frequently.

    I don’t view c&s as an absolute weight control mechanism ( for me, that is a balanced diet with conceivable calorie restrictions – don’t go above 2500, try to get at least 1000), but it is definitely a supplemental “control” thing for me. I am presently 19 years old, 5’8″, 135 lbs, and reasonably fit (not athletic, but not devoid of muscle). This is worth mentioning because at 14 years old, I was 5’6″ and 200lbs. I spent most of my life in a state of obesity. My weight loss was gradual, healthy and can be attributed to a MASSIVE change in diet + types/balance of consumed foods and overall nutrition consciousness, as well as to being less sedentary.

    Because my ‘healthy’ body has been a growth of troubled roots, I am still quite preoccupied with my body image. When I was very consciously dieting (which I no longer am – merely body-aware and oriented on decent maintainence), c&s would occasionally pop up as a way to, admittedly, cut out a few calories, or satisfy a silly craving for a bowl of cereal at midnight or some other such thing.
    Now that I am no longer focused on losing weight, it has been manifesting more frequently and seems to highlight my fear of food. I can’t lie; I’m TERRIFIED of losing control of my success and regressing to a life of ill health and extreme physical dissatisfaction. I never go through a massive amount of food – maybe one cookie, half of a toaster pastry, a spoonful of mashed potatoes (I work in a restaurant kitchen), etc. It starts out as me admitting I -want- a certain food, in a small amount, so I acquiesce myself, but once it is in my mouth, that nagging voice scolds that I don’t -n e e d- that food, particularly because they’re always less-than-healthy items, and out of guilt and fear, I spit out the disgusting chewed lump.
    If I am eating out of genuine hunger, I will at this point do my best to avoid putting any more of the questionable item in my gullet and wait until I can provide a better option – raw carrots instead of ‘taters, a granola bar instead of chocolate, etc. If I am eating out of craving, it is from this point a test of willpower. I never have/will not continually c&s a large amount of food in one sitting. Yet, the bite here and there crops up more and more often.

    It concerns me mostly because I seem to maintain a healthy weight just fine and can’t reasonably justify such an odd behavior. It’s also notable because it doesn’t happen exclusively when I’m home alone – I’ve been finding ways to do it unnoticed at work, my boyfriend’s house, etc. No one has ever noticed, and it hasn’t reached the point of an addiction, but it is gross and silly! I suppose I must ask: at this level, is this truly a disordered eating pattern? What is the cure? Saying no to the “bad” foods in the first place?

    1. I also sometimes reach for an unhealthy food, such as, say, a Pop-Tart, take one bite, feel guilty, and toss the remainder of the portion in the garbage as a reminder that that’s what those types of highly processed foods are in my body – trash, empty calories, tasty but useless and bad for my health. I realize this is incredibly wasteful in regards to money. But, again – disordered eating or being nutrient conscious? Where is the line drawn?

  52. I’ve been chewing and spitting for the past year now. It’s awful. I just want to stop. It’s ruining my life and my parents lives. I’m only fourteen years old. I just want to get rid of this and never have to deal with it ever again. I just want to stop. Someone please help me to stop. I do this everyday. I’ve been trying to stop for what feels like forever and it’s just a vicious positive feed back loop, the more I fail at stopping, the the more the c/s happens.

    I’m seeing a doctor right now but it’s not helping one bit. Is there any trick to stopping thhis?

  53. Hi

    I’m a 17 year old girl
    I’ve never really replied to anything like this before, but I’m really curious about what I’ve been going through. If that makes any sense.

    I started chewing and spitting out my food when I was 15 or 16. Then I stopped, but maybe 3 months ago I started again. I do it just about every day. Many times, even if I don’t have a craving for sweets. I just have an urge to eat cookies and spit them out.

    I’ve never told anyone what I do. I’m scared about my teeth and this insulin stuff. But I haven’t been doing it long and still believe I can stop. I otherwise eat a pretty normal, healthy diet. And I run 2 or 3 times a week. I’m not overweight, but I’d like to be thinner.

    I’ve tried to make myself sick before, but I can’t do it. Or I realize what I’m doing and stop myself. Because it’s a disgusting habit that I don’t want.

    Judging by what I’ve read, and hearing how this can escalate, I want to stop. I dunno if I can though easily. It makes me feel in control. and when I don’t eat, it makes me happy. I’ve been self-conscious of my weight for as long as I can remember.

    spitting and chewing just never seemed like a big deal until now, as I look back on the past little while and realize how many times a day I will spit out my food.

    I’m just sort of confused.

  54. I’ve been chewing and spitting for 6 years now. It’s amazing to me how many other people are out there, having the exact same thoughts process as me, everyday. I too workout everyday (most of the time twice a day), only eat clean foods when I eat meals, but when I’m by myself I buy Ben and Jerry’s pints, chips, cookies, cakes, etc. I’ve had two root canals and many cavities filled in the past two years. I don’t want to have dentures by the time I’m 40 (I’m 28 now).
    I think this is such a unique E/D because of the ‘gross’ factor of what you’re actually doing.
    I go to bed every night with a swollen, bloated stomach and an empty promsie that tomorrow will be a new day.
    How have others gotten thru urges to C/S? Besides the water, has anything else been helpful to people?

  55. Hi.

    I have been battling with chewing and spitting for almost two years on and off. I can go months without ever doing it and then I can go into deep binges where I tend to be unable to stop. I only chew and spit foods that I have been unable to eat while dieting, such as ice cream, cookies, etc. However, this caused me at one point to gain almost 20 pounds and thankfully I have been on the mend. I think that hardest part is telling someone that you have this and you are doing it. People don’t understand how or why and since it isn’t a widely known disorder I don’t think they even categorize it. However, it is an issue. I have noticed though that if I allow myself each week to indulge I don’t feel so bad and my clothes aren’t hating me. Chewing and Spitting makes us think we are eating when we aren’t and so our body’s insulin spikes and maybe not for all but for some this can cause many issues. I wish that more people would open up and share there story so that we don’t feel alone. I don’t even know how I started to tell you the truth. But I know I feel worse each time I do it, but like a drug it is hard to stop once you start.

  56. I’m 14 and i’ve been chewing and spitting for about 2 years now. I spend wayyy too much money on it, and my mom recently found out. At first she was okay with it and then I accidently left some sitting in a bowl in my room when I was in a rush. She now says that I HAVE to quit, she and my stepdad are watching me constantly and even make me sleep on the couch. My stepdad called me disgusting and even threatened to kick both my mom and I out if I continued. I dont know what to do, I realize this is a problem but its just really…fun. And yes, I know that sounds bad. Please help me, I’ve been “soberr ” for 1 day now…and dont know how much longer it will last.

  57. Hi there, I have been c/s for approx 6 years now. i am fine during the day but it is at night when everyone is in bed. I had anorexia when I was 14-15 so I think this is an eating disorder. I hate myself because of losing weight I have put on 20 pounds! i really need to stop and have contacted an eating disorder clinic today to try and get some help. it consumes me and I wake up feeling depressed everyday,…. if I had any advice for anyone thinking of trying it DONT DO IT! It is like any habit,,,, very hard to break.


    My name is Kristen Moore Glatstein and I am a graduate student getting my PsyD degree in clinical psychology at the Wright Institute in Berkeley, California. I am asking you to consider being part of my dissertation study. If you are a woman over the age of 18 who has eating disorder concerns, specifically chewing and spitting, and who would be willing to donate a half hour of your time to fill out an online survey questionnaire, I would really appreciate your help. This study is examining the role that emotions play in women who have eating concerns and who practice chewing and spitting. While there are minimal benefits from participating in this study, there are minimal risks as well. However your participation might help to advance our knowledge of eating disorders in general in women so that we as mental health professionals can develop better ways of identifying and treating these issues.To participate in the survey, simply click the link below and follow the directions from there.

  59. Hi Melissa! Do you still log on here? Your post has helped so much and it is SO inspiring to hear and see how you struggled and then cold turkey stopped!! I am so proud of you!! How did you do it? I know you say “you have to want it bad enough” and to “choose pride over guilt” — and these are great and very helpful — but I’m also curious, do you remember the first day that you were able to say “no” and stick to it? how did that go? as i’m sure, before you stopped completely, i imagine there were times you tried to stop but couldn’t, right? how did you finally get it to stop? did you use anything to distract yourself? perhaps a bottle of water (did that help?) as one commenter suggested? would be great to hear the details of the last time you c/s’ed and the first time you finally were able to gain control, ie. what that moment was like, and how you’ve been able to stay strong ever since? is it just a “no” and walk away kind of thing? “no and go to bed” kind of thing? sometimes i feel i have trouble sleeping if i don’t do it.. have you ever had that? perhaps if i just keep saying “no”, will that strength keep growing? i believe i can stop this! i have faith! and so much inspiration from you! thank you so much for your support and creating this blog — i truly hope i hear from you!! lots of love and peace xx thank you again 🙂

    1. Hi Beth and so sorry it’s taken me so long to get back to you! I still blog for sure!! 🙂 Thank you so much. It took a combo of therapy, blogging, and embracing that mantra for me to stop cold turkey, but I did it. I wish I had the magical answer but it was a lot of trial and error to get there. I struggled and stumbled many, many times but something clicked in that chat with my brother–and I never slipped up afterwards. I did look for distractions — writing, talking, exercising, anything to avoid the ugly action/behavior. I do think just saying no over and over and over can help — but I needed that mantra that hit so close to home to truly nip it in the bud. Best wishes to you and feel free to reach out any time! GOOD LUCK!

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